"GOLLUM," it snickers "GOD OF BOULDERS, MY HIND PEEL"

gollum cringes from the loud screaming BANANA thoughts striking every nerve in his sub-conscience.. in a last ditch effort, gollum,...

because he is the grammatically correct individual he is, used a rust inhabiter on the hook, thereby impressing the hell out of the pirate..

meanwhile, the composition of the forgotten cereal box started to...

change, to one more or less resembling an alien race detector, you see, the race known as "rust" for which the inhabiter was created for originally, started making a buzzing noise, and indicating that the cereal box could be altering on the molecular level..

as gollum closed his book of "possible grammatical errors 101" he noticed...

that the water molecules which were incorporated into the celulose matrix of the ceareal box were spontaneously dissociating, and that the emerging eglomeration of hydrogen atoms was aproaching absolute zero. this phenomina astounded the scientificaly astute Gollum as it violated every law of thermodynamics simultaneously!

The cloud reached absolute-zero in .05 picoseconds, becoming an ultra dense boze-einstein condensate, the super-atomic properties of which were poised to destroy the world. however, before an electronic transition could occure which surely would have fried poor gollum with GeV gamma rays, the whole mass collapsed into iteself, forming a micro black hole, with a 3 m radius event horizion.

Throwing his friends at this monstrosity of quantum-relativistic physics, gollum was ammused to observe that the they never apeard to cross the event horizion, slowing down infinitly as they aproched. as he reached towards the thing he...

\edit\ damn! doc beat me to it!