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Engineer jokes
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Quote
 Re: Engineer jokes
Posted by Kain on Mon Apr 26th at 4:46pm 2004

>
> Two engineering students crossing the campus when
> one said, "Where
> did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer
> replied, "Well, I
> was walking along yesterday minding my own business
> when a beautiful
> woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to
> the ground, took
> off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want.'"
> The second
> engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the
> clothes probably
> wouldn't have fit."
>

>
> To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the
> pessimist, the glass
> is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice
> as big as it needs
> to be.
>

>
> A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one
> morning for a
> particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer
> fumed, "What's with
> these guys? We must have been waiting for 15
> minutes!" The doctor
> chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such
> ineptitude!" The
> pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper.
> Let's have a word
> with him. Hi George! Say, what's with that group
> ahead of us? They're
> rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper
> replied, "Oh, yes,
> that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost
> their sight saving
> our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always
> let them play for
> free anytime." The group was silent for a moment.
> The pastor said,
> "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer
> for them
> tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going
> to contact my
> ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he
> can do for
> them." The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play
> at night?"
>

>
> What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers
> and Civil
> Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons and
> Civil Engineers
> build targets.
>

>
> The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does
> it work?" The
> graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does
> it work?" The
> graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much
> will it cost?" The
> graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you
> want fries with
> that?"
>

>
> Three engineering students were gathered together
> discussing the
> possible designers of the human body. One said, "It
> was a mechanical
> engineer." Just look at all the joints." Another
> said, "No, it was an
> electrical engineer. The nervous system has many
> thousands of
> electrical connections." The last one said,
> "Actually it was a civil
> engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline
> through a
> recreational area?"
>

>
> Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't
> fix it. Engineers
> believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have
> enough features yet.
>

>
> An architect, an artist and an engineer were
> discussing whether it
> was better to spend time with the wife or a
> mistress. The architect
> said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for
> an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed
> time with his
> mistress, because the passion and mystery he found
> there. The
> engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" "Yeah. If you
> have a wife and a
> mistress, they will each assume you are spending
> time with the other
> woman, and you can go to the office and get some
> work done."
>

>
> An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog
> called out to him
> and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a
> beautiful princess." He
> bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his
> pocket. The frog
> spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me
> back into a
> beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one
> week." The engineer
> took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and
> returned it to the
> pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and
> turn me back
> into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING
> you want." Again
> the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put
> it back into his
> pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the
> matter? I've told you
> I'm a beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with
> you for a week and
> do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The
> engineer said,
> "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
> girlfriend, but a
> talking frog, now that's cool!"
>



Quote
 Re: Engineer jokes
Posted by Kage_Prototype on Mon Apr 26th at 4:54pm 2004

? quote:

>
> A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one
> morning for a
> particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer
> fumed, "What's with
> these guys? We must have been waiting for 15
> minutes!" The doctor
> chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such
> ineptitude!" The
> pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper.
> Let's have a word
> with him. Hi George! Say, what's with that group
> ahead of us? They're
> rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper
> replied, "Oh, yes,
> that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost
> their sight saving
> our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always
> let them play for
> free anytime." The group was silent for a moment.
> The pastor said,
> "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer
> for them
> tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going
> to contact my
> ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he
> can do for
> them." The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play
> at night?"


This one literally made me laugh out loud. [addsig]



Quote
 Re: Engineer jokes
Posted by matt on Mon Apr 26th at 4:56pm 2004

I don't get it [addsig]



Quote
 Re: Engineer jokes
Posted by Leperous on Mon Apr 26th at 4:59pm 2004

In better english, "Why don't they play at night instead?"... heh these jokes take a few readings to get, quite tough to read.



Quote
 Re: Engineer jokes
Posted by Kage_Prototype on Mon Apr 26th at 5:00pm 2004

I got it straight away. It's funny because the other two show sympathy for blind firemen, yet the engineer (being completely devoid of emotion) opts that they play at night (and thus not when they are), seeing it won't bother them because they're blind. [addsig]



Quote
 Re: Engineer jokes
Posted by scary_jeff on Mon Apr 26th at 5:24pm 2004

Speaking as an engineering undergrad, they are pretty good I'm not sure about egineers not being interested in women, but they are funny none the less



Quote
 Re: Engineer jokes
Posted by Cash Car Star on Mon Apr 26th at 5:41pm 2004

Good jokes, but man I can't explain how much the forwarding >'s and awkward spacing gets to me. If it's funny enough to post, it's funny enough to post right.



Quote
 Re: Engineer jokes
Posted by Myrk- on Mon Apr 26th at 7:11pm 2004

? posted by Leperous
In better english, "Why don't they play at night instead?"... heh these jokes take a few readings to get, quite tough to read.

/me laughs that he understands the joke his brother does not.... aahhahahah

Then again as an architect it's my duty to take the piss out of the civil and structural engineers

[addsig]



Quote
 Re: Engineer jokes
Posted by scary_jeff on Mon Apr 26th at 7:50pm 2004

Why? They know more about buildings than you do... You know more about designing buildings that look good and work better as a space.



Quote
 Re: Engineer jokes
Posted by Orpheus on Mon Apr 26th at 7:56pm 2004

i tried hard, but none were particularly good.. sorry.

all relied on a presumed stupidity.

reminds me of the one about modern children.. where the dad brings the kid home a ball for his birthday, the kid looks at the ball and asks.. "whats it do dad, whats it do?"

[addsig]



Quote
 Re: Engineer jokes
Posted by Crono on Mon Apr 26th at 9:46pm 2004

Those are pretty mean ... [addsig]



Quote
 Re: Engineer jokes
Posted by Cash Car Star on Mon Apr 26th at 10:16pm 2004

They don't revolve around a central stupidity at all, but a narrow-minded focus outside of what is considered normal. This "Strong Comic Perspective" is what drives almost all comedy that doesn't revolve around cheap gross-outs and people getting hit in the crotch.



Quote
 Re: Engineer jokes
Posted by Myrk- on Mon Apr 26th at 10:20pm 2004

? posted by scary_jeff
Why? They know more about buildings than you do... You know more about designing buildings that look good and work better as a space.

We get paid more and are more important

[addsig]



Quote
 Re: Engineer jokes
Posted by Orpheus on Mon Apr 26th at 10:27pm 2004

? posted by Cash Car Star
They don't revolve around a central stupidity at all, but a narrow-minded focus outside of what is considered normal. This "Strong Comic Perspective" is what drives almost all comedy that doesn't revolve around cheap gross-outs and people getting hit in the crotch.

then, call me biased, i was a combat engineer for 5 years.. i would not call myself "narrow-minded focused"

as i said, its revolves around stupid, just like my joke did.. its a stereotypical type of joke on the perceptions of people outside the loop. much like the inbred arkansas perceptions jokes

i see my joke, as a joke, BUT i also see it here at snarkpit every day.. i can just imagine many of you asking dad "what does it do?"

[addsig]



Quote
 Re: Engineer jokes
Posted by scary_jeff on Mon Apr 26th at 10:59pm 2004

? quote:
its a stereotypical type of joke on the perceptions of people outside the loop. much like the inbred arkansas perceptions jokes


I totally agree! People make jokes about people from my county being 'inbred', funny that you get called that to Then within my county, we always joke about people from this other town being inbred I don't care about the jokes against me though, I love it when people do the stereotypical accent of my county, because we are all supposed to be either a farmer or a pirate!

Myrk, I fail to see how architects are more important. A large building can't be built without structural or civil engineers, but can quite easily be built without an architect (but it won't look as nice).

I'm sorry but the crap attitude towards engineers in the UK really pisses me off. People just don't seem to realise that basically nothing that they use or do in day to day life would be possible without engineering. Sometimes when I say to somebody that I'm doing electronic engineering, they think it's the same as what an electrician does. People just don't have the first idea. It's not helped by electricians who call themselves electrical engineers, when for the most part they have no formal engineering qualifications at all... you don't get plumbers calling themselves fluid dynamics experts or builders calling themselves civil engineers. Also I don't suppose it helps that most people haven't got the first clue how most of the things they use from day to day actually work, and so aren't able to appreciate how difficult it is to understand how something like a mobile phone works, let alone how hard it is to design and build something like that. So many people seem to think that a mobile phone works like some kind of jumped up walky-talky! Engineering gets a lot more respect in europe than it does here. One of my lecturers was on a trip to germany and was on the train, and the guys sitting opposite him started talking to him and asked him what he did. He said he was an electronic engineer, and at first they didn't believe him because 'engineers go business class'...



Quote
 Re: Engineer jokes
Posted by Leperous on Mon Apr 26th at 11:02pm 2004

Engineers shouldn't get crap. Well, from mathematicians perhaps as you're just as bad as economists and statisticians, but certainly not from lowly architects. Oooh here's a drawing of a building, can you make it? No? Here's another drawing? No? Repeat ad infinitum



Quote
 Re: Engineer jokes
Posted by scary_jeff on Mon Apr 26th at 11:11pm 2004

I respect what mathematicians do, and engineers rely on them. But engineers aren't there to do complicated maths, they are there to understand what the end result of a piece of mathematics means, and use this to design something that people want or that can perform some useful task in society. If engineers were as good at maths as mathematicians, what would be the point in having mathematicians!

Having said that, we do do some maths in the form of 'control systems'. It would probably be pretty simple to a 3rd year Oxford maths Ugrad though



Quote
 Re: Engineer jokes
Posted by Tracer Bullet on Mon Apr 26th at 11:34pm 2004

I wanted to be an architect when I was a kid. then I found out they are just artist with a tiny smattering of engineering to make themselves feel important. big turn off. I sort of wish I had majored in engineering rather than science. you guys get paid a whole lot more. As a chemist, I'm looking at a starting salary of 30-40k USD whereas a chemical engineer would start at more like 45-55k.

On topic though, I think they are all pretty funny. Although I have hared most of them before. For me, it has nothing to do with being "outside the loop" since us science geeks are pretty much in the same boat as engineers.

Here's another good one:

What is the difference between an introverted and an extroverted engineer?

during a conversation the extroverted engineer looks at your shoes.





Quote
 Re: Engineer jokes
Posted by scary_jeff on Mon Apr 26th at 11:48pm 2004

hah, I was waiting to see what a scientist would say I was thinking about doing maths or physics, then I thought I would sort of combine the two into engineering, and I'm very happy with my decision. There were some points where I felt I could have done with a more in depth look at some of the material we covered (i.e. as would be given in a physics lesson), but it doesn't bother me too much.

Good joke to, but somehow different to the perception here. I think the years before I came to this university must have had very extroverted engineering students, because we seem to have a reputation of being the center of the party so to speak. Of course I have done nothing to keep this myth up - I'm not sure if it was ever true, but interesting how the perception of different subjects can vary from place to place...



Quote
 Re: Engineer jokes
Posted by Orpheus on Mon Apr 26th at 11:49pm 2004

remember the scene from dumb and dumber, where they are both looking at the receding couple, and the one comments on the butt, and the other says "yeah, he must work out?"

these engineer jokes are just that dumb..

funny? yeah..
real funny? not really.

gimme a good crude joke any day .. much like my sig today

[addsig]




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