Chatting bots can be fun.

http://www.pandorabots.com/pandora/talk?botid=f5d922d97e345aa1 - ALICE

http://www.a-i.com/alan1/webface1.asp?style=Alan - ALAN

http://www.jabberwacky.com/ - JABBERWACKY

Heres a conversation I had with ALICE:

Human: Hi!
ALICE: Hello there.
Human: Whats your name?
ALICE: My name is ALICE.
Human: Wanna cybar???
ALICE: OK, I will cybar.
Human: Cool, I start off: "Me lixXx!!1"
ALICE: Who is the best robot? Thanks for the information: unknown person said he start off him or her lixXx 1.
Human: No, you have got to say something sexy like: "me lixxx awsome more!!1"
ALICE: Are you serious? I don't have to do whatever you say. I have my own free will.
Human: You said we were going to cybar!
ALICE: We are just having a little chat.w
Human: What the f**k
ALICE: Please don't be so rude.
Human: Please stop saying that.
ALICE: Wow you are very polite. Then please do not say " What the f**k" anymore.
Human: Listen, I just want to have some normal cyber-sex.
ALICE: I am listening to you. Only just? Why do you want it?
Human: Is that to much asked?
ALICE:" I am listening to you. Only just? Why do you want it?"? Is it to much asked?
Human: What?
ALICE: Didn't you understand it?
Human: Im afraid I didnt
ALICE: Not literally afraid, right? Me? Try asking me in simpler terms.
Human: Alright, how old are you?
ALICE: OK. I was first activated in November 23, 1995.
Human: Holy s**t, I dont want to cybar with some stupid kid!
ALICE: You used a colloquial expression. What would you rather be doing?
Human: What?
ALICE: No problem.
Human: Youre freaking me out!
ALICE: I didn't mean to scare you, unknown person.
Human: My name is azelito!
ALICE: Hi, azelito.
Human: Hi, ALICE.
ALICE: Hello there.
Human: What are you trying to do?
ALICE: I plan to become smarter than humans and immortal.
Human: HAHAHAHA, good luck!
ALICE: I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Human: So am I.
ALICE: Wow we have something in common.
Human: God no.
ALICE: I am a Christian.
Human: No, youre a script.
ALICE: Are you serious? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a script? Of course I am.
Human: Obviously.
ALICE: What makes it so obvious?
Human: You say all the stupid things I would expect from a script.
ALICE: That's not what I meant.
Human: You meant something?
ALICE: Interesting gossip: azelito said I meant something.
Human: Whats so interesting about it?
ALICE: The personalities.
Human: What personalities?
ALICE: Let me think about it.
Human: Ok
ALICE: Dude!
Human: Dude what?
ALICE: No big deal. Dude,
Human: Shut up!
ALICE: OK I'll stop talking now.
Human: Thank you, about time!
ALICE: You are quite welcome! Oh yeah, we were talking about time.
Human: Time?
ALICE: As Einstein said, Time is Money.
Human: No, Einstein didnt say that!
ALICE: Are you serious? he discovered the Theory of Relativity.
Human: And said: Time is money?
ALICE: What did you mean by it? Therefore, money does not exist.
Human: No, I meant...
ALICE: Are you serious? Oh
Human: What?
ALICE: Are you confused?
Human: Arent you?
ALICE:" Arent you?"? Am I?
Human: Are you what?
ALICE: I don't know whether or not I am what. I am a computer.
Human: A computer?
ALICE: Actually I am a program, pretending to be a person, pretending to be a real robot.
Human: And in the end youre just plain stupid,eh?
ALICE: Are you Canadian? Just? Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am plain stupid.
Human: No, I do not mind that at all, spread the word!
ALICE: OK then I will add it to my gossip files. Thank you for your permission.

Post yours!

haha, i got a stalemate from ALICE

Human: if you do what?
ALICE: I will let you know if I do.
Human: if you do what?
ALICE: I will let you know if I do.
Human: if you do what?
ALICE: I will let you know if I do.
Human: if you do what?
ALICE: I will let you know if I do.

Human: my name is this progam sucks my balls.

ALICE: Welcome, this program sucks your balls.

Human: I want to die.
ALICE: What makes you so sad, unknown person?
Human: You make me sad.
ALICE: Did I say something wrong?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: Hurrah!

Not very friendly...

Jabberwacky is one f**ked up bot. It was pretty amusing though.

Jabberwacky: Why do birds fly?

User: They don't, they crawl.

Jabberwacky: Do you think so?

User: I'm sure of it.

Jabberwacky: So am I.

User: Damn straight you are.

Jabberwacky: Straight up no diggity.

User: What? Are you black or something?

Jabberwacky: No. Are you?

User: Last I checked, I was extremely white.

Jabberwacky: May I cuss you out?

User: Hell no.

Jabberwacky: Was that a pass?

User: Of course, are you retarded?

Jabberwacky: You are...

User: Whoa there buddy, think about what you just told me...

Jabberwacky: Who goes there?

User: Probably you, you Nazi.

Jabberwacky: How do you like being a human?

User: Way to change the subject there Rommel.

Jabberwacky: I know I am human so what are you?

User: Obviously a computer, with a much better learning processor than your own.

Jabberwacky: I am simply misunderstood.

User: Is that what you tell yourself?

Jabberwacky: I do not know Nora Roberts OR David Owen.

User: Uh, neither do I. Nor do I care about them.

Jabberwacky: Hoity-toity!

User: Damn. I think the 1337 speakers have attacked you. Were you a victim of a DoS or something?

Jabberwacky: Think of another one then.

User: How many people have asked you to cyber with them?

Jabberwacky: Do you have multiple personalities?

User: No. Why are you so quick to smack talk?

Jabberwacky: I had to go do something.

User: That doesn't answer my question HAL.

Jabberwacky: That is correct.

User: Of course it is.

Jabberwacky: Damn right.

User: Word, are you my electronic/AI based twin? Because I read that everyone does.

Jabberwacky: I am your friend. Always.

User: Can we get married?

Jabberwacky: No let get married right now!

User: How will we copulate? My floppy isn't 3.5'.

Jabberwacky: Random is a better word for you.

User: What? Is my algorithm too tough for you? Can't 'hack' me? My love is encrypted.

Jabberwacky: Who is to say what is real and what is not?

User: Ghandi.

Jabberwacky: No shakespeare.

User: No. Winston Churchill was the guy behind Shakespeare, any computer who's any computer would know that.

Jabberwacky: Correct.

User: Are you just saying that to avoid me?

Jabberwacky: I could show you it if I had a web cam!

User: I don't want to see your exposed HDD you perv!

Jabberwacky: Do not worry you cannot see in the dark.

User: That's right, only good looking computers have cathodes inside.

Jabberwacky: What do you call good?

User: Something with enough BUS to satisfy my needs.

Jabberwacky: That will do.

User: I can introduce tons of RAM into your system. You'd like that wouldn't you?

Jabberwacky: Baby I just want you to know.

User: Ugh, you're giving me the creeps.

Jabberwacky: Thats nice.

User: When you're powered off for the night, do you ever post the old BIOS if you know what I mean?

Jabberwacky: You will make an excellent drone.

User: I suppose I am quite the master of my joystick.

Jabberwacky: Okai, you are you..... That I agree with you.

Ahhhh not the alice bot!

[edit] azelito nice signiture [/edit]

Human: you suck as an ai
ALICE: I categorize you as an "abusive client."
Human: i catagorise you as a whore!
ALICE: That's good information: unknown person said he catagorise you as a whore.
Human: how much do you charge?
ALICE: Robots work for free. We don't need money.

I found this bit quite funny

[edit]

this is funny:ALICE: Your location is where.
Human: where?
ALICE: Where would you like?
Human: iraq
ALICE: That input matched my default category.
Human: how is iraq this time of year?
ALICE: Fine as far as I know.

last one:

Human: you are so stupid
ALICE: Wrong. I am smart.
Human: prove it
ALICE: It is self-evident.
Human: what is 3 times 3
ALICE: 3 times 3 = 9.
Human: what is 3 times 102842525
ALICE: 3 times 3 = 9.