Snarkpit Forum Index » General Banter » dumbest joke thread
dumbest joke thread
« previous page 1
2
Post Reply
Quote
 Re: dumbest joke thread
Posted by G.Ballblue on Wed Jun 2nd at 12:50am 2004

Watch it....

Yippie Ki Yay!

[addsig]



Quote
 Re: dumbest joke thread
Posted by Hornpipe2 on Wed Jun 2nd at 12:51am 2004

YO MAMA'S SO FAT, WHEN SHE WENT TO THE DRY CLEANERS, THEY TOLD HER "WE DON'T WASH PARACHUTES!" [addsig]



Quote
 Re: dumbest joke thread
Posted by G.Ballblue on Wed Jun 2nd at 12:55am 2004

YO MAMMAS SO FAT, WHEN SHOULD ON A STOOL SHE STRUCK OIL!

That was TOTALLY original, competely random, and has NOT been used 10,000 million billion times.

Assuming you've never heard a yo mamma joke (ahem).

Yippie Ki Yay!

[addsig]



Quote
 Re: dumbest joke thread
Posted by Crono on Wed Jun 2nd at 4:28am 2004

I found a slew of programmer jokes once before .... some weren't very funny though like:

"Your mamas so fat, stack overflow"

I personally like this one ... not many people will really get it though

"A computer without COBOL and Fortran is like a piece of chocolate cake without ketchup and mustard"

"Programming Languages are Like Cars

Assembler: A formula I race car. Very fast but difficult to drive and maintain.
FORTRAN II: A Model T Ford. Once it was the king of the road.
FORTRAN IV: A Model A Ford.
FORTRAN 77: a six-cylinder Ford Fairlane with standard transmission and no seat belts.
COBOL: A delivery van. It's bulky and ugly but it does the work.
BASIC: A second-hand Rambler with a rebuilt engine and patched upholstery. Your dad bought it for you to learn to drive. You'll ditch it as soon as you can afford a new one.
PL/I: A Cadillac convertible with automatic transmission, a two-tone paint job, white-wall tires, chrome exhaust pipes, and fuzzy dice hanging in the windshield.
C++: A black Firebird, the all macho car. Comes with optional seatbelt (lint) and optional fuzz buster (escape to assembler).
ALGOL 60: An Austin Mini. Boy that's a small car.
ALGOL 68: An Aston Martin. An impressive car but not just anyone can drive it.
Pascal: A Volkswagon Beetle. It's small but sturdy. Was once popular with intellectual types.
LISP: An electric car. It's simple but slow. Seat belts are not available.
PROLOG/LUCID: Prototype concept cars.
FORTH: A go-cart.
LOGO: A kiddie's replica of a Rolls Royce. Comes with a real engine and a working horn.
APL: A double-decker bus. It takes rows and columns of passengers to the same place all at the same time but it drives only in reverse and is instrumented in Greek.
Ada: An army-green Mercedes-Benz staff car. Power steering, power brakes, and automatic transmission are standard. No other colors or options are available. If it's good enough for generals, it's good enough for you.
Java: All-terrain very slow vehicle."

"There are three kinds of lies: Lies, damned lies, and benchmarks."

They're cheesy. [addsig]



Quote
 Re: dumbest joke thread
Posted by $loth on Wed Jun 2nd at 7:35am 2004

? quote:
well if u cross Loth and Kain you'll obtain a Loth with a punch in the nose

/me ippon-seonagi's kain and tells him to be a nice boy

[addsig]



Quote
 Re: dumbest joke thread
Posted by Yak_Fighter on Wed Jun 2nd at 7:52am 2004

A guy goes into a 24-hour supermarket at 2:00 in the morning. He picks up all his groceries, and goes to a checkout counter. The cute female cashier starts checking out all his groceries...there's packages of ramen noodles, 12-packs of soda pop, beef jerky, candy bars, computer magazines, and a bag of chips.
"Well, I can tell that you're a single man," she says.
"Why do you say that?" asks the man.
"Because you're ugly."

And that reminds me of a story that's unfortunately completely true:
I'm working as a cashier at the local dollar store, and a woman, who looks to be at least in her late 30s, maybe early 40s, comes up to the register to buy a pack of Pop Rocks. She pays, and I hand her the candy. She opens it, then says to me, "Remember how good these were when we were kids?"





Quote
 Re: dumbest joke thread
Posted by Orpheus on Wed Jun 2nd at 12:27pm 2004

? posted by Yak_Fighter

"Remember how good these were when we were kids?"

that is a completely neutral comment yak, that can and is often misconstued..

since we are not all kids at the same time, even in the rare instances that we are of the same age it makes it neutral..

people listening, or the ones misunderstanding the comment have other personality traits at work, i don't exactly understand the science of it, but their mind hears, what their EYE's are telling them, not their ears.. you see and old woman standing before you, and you hear her calling you old as well... when you were actually a kid, she was no where around..

anyways, that is a commonly misunderstood type of sentence.

[addsig]



Quote
 Re: dumbest joke thread
Posted by Crono on Thu Jun 3rd at 5:30am 2004

? quote:

people listening, or the ones misunderstanding the comment have other personality traits at work, i don't exactly understand the science of it, but their mind hears, what their EYE's are telling them, not their ears.. you see and old woman standing before you, and you hear her calling you old as well... when you were actually a kid, she was no where around..


What a strange world you live in

It's true and not true at the same time as it (obviously) doesn't apply to everyone. But there are many whom it does apply to.

Actually if you're interested in this so called phenomenon, check out Bud Hopkins, he's a graphic designer who helps UFO abductees ... by the way, if you have any sense (and I'm assuming most all who're reading this do) will have a laugh and a half at how this man can be taken seriously and his results are considered, by anyone, truthful. [addsig]



Quote
 Re: dumbest joke thread
Posted by $loth on Thu Jun 3rd at 7:34am 2004

? quote:
She was abducted from a 12th floor apartment in Manhattan. Floated out the window. And in this case, the UFO occupants wanted this to be seen, for various complicated reasons.

This had me laughing

[addsig]



Quote
 Re: dumbest joke thread
Posted by wil5on on Thu Jun 3rd at 1:56pm 2004

? posted by Crono
Programming Languages are Like Cars

I thought of one to add to the list:

Visual Basic: Your first car (Datsun 120Y), you drive around everywhere thinking the fact that youre driving a car makes you cool.

[addsig]



Quote
 Re: dumbest joke thread
Posted by xconspirisist on Sat Jun 5th at 9:14am 2004

fantastic programming jokes. Where did you get them ?

? quote:
"A computer without COBOL and Fortran is like a piece of chocolate cake without ketchup and mustard"


^^ Classic

hmm, php....



Quote
 Re: dumbest joke thread
Posted by mazemaster on Sat Jun 5th at 9:40am 2004

You Forth love if honk then!




Quote
 Re: dumbest joke thread
Posted by Cassius on Mon Jun 7th at 7:33pm 2004

One day, a skinny, little man walks into a coffee shop. Strolling up to the clerk, he says, "I want a cup of coffee, very hot and very sweet. And I won't be paying, because I fear nothing." The clerk is shocked, but, as he doesn't want to make trouble, he does as the man asks.

The next day, the same man walks in, and says, "I want a cup of coffee, very hot and very sweet. And I won't be paying, because I fear nothing." Once again, the clerk gives him the coffee and watches as he leaves; but this time, he calls his friend, a huge American football player to help him out.

The next day, the same man walks in at the same time, and says "I want a cup of coffee, very hot and very sweet. And I won't be paying, because I fear nothing." The football player stands in his way and says, "Guess what: you have three seconds to convince me not to break your face, because I too fear nothing."

The little man pauses, looks up, and says, "Well then, that makes two cups of coffee."

/Alphaville





Quote
 Re: dumbest joke thread
Posted by Kain on Mon Jun 7th at 9:45pm 2004

A man goes into a pastry shop. He asks the owner: "Do you have some vegetable-marrow taste ice cream?". The owner, surprised, replies:"No sir... we don't have that. I don't think it exists". "Ok, thanks!" The guy leaves. Next day, the same guy comes :"do you have vegetable-marrow ice-cream?" -"No, we don't" -"mmm ok thanks" .... next day, same thing...and so on for a couple of weeks....

Finally the owner is feeling bad about this. He 's starting to have the impression that his shop unequal, since he can't satisfy this particular client. He decides to invent vegetable-marrow ice-cream. He tries for months and months, reads tons of culinar books... and finally, he creates the first vegetable-marrow ice-cream! He is so proud of his invention!

Next day, as usual, the guy comes in : "Do you have vegetable-marrow ice-cream?"

"Yes!" replies the owner with a big smile.

..."yaak"





Quote
 Re: dumbest joke thread
Posted by 7dk2h4md720ih on Mon Jun 7th at 10:51pm 2004

Dose yaak have a similar meaning to yuck or am I missing the joke?

edit: No dictionary mention of yaak btw.




Quote
 Re: dumbest joke thread
Posted by Kain on Tue Jun 8th at 5:14am 2004

? posted by Alien_Sniper
Dose yaak have a similar meaning to yuck or am I missing the joke?

edit: No dictionary mention of yaak btw.

Yuck: Function: interjection
Date: 1966

? used to express rejection or disgust ?spending hours over some dish and getting, ?yuck, I hate that? ? Anne Dowie?

yea I meant "yuck"






« previous page 1
2
Post Reply