The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
locked
Quote
Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by Campaignjunkie on Sun Jul 18th at 8:53pm 2004


selling overpriced novelty statues of Oprah. Being one of Oprah's biggest fans, I naturally purchased a few hundred. But my good buddy Cpt. Jack Daniels wanted all the statues for himself, that bastard! Enraged by his all-consuming greed, I approached the captain with murderous intent and
[addsig]




Quote
Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by Gwil on Sun Jul 18th at 10:13pm 2004


lost my guts right at the last second. Instead of murdering the captain, I suggested we drink a few measures of Jack Daniels and book tickets for our journey to Africa, where we to meet our contact..

[addsig]




Quote
Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by Crono on Sun Jul 18th at 11:25pm 2004


Iggy Pop. [addsig]



Quote
Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by fishy on Sun Jul 18th at 11:31pm 2004


but when we got there, there was only an old wrinkly guy, weariing some sort of polythene-see-through suit. he was in the process of hypnotizing some chickens, when he turned to me and..............





Quote
Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by Biological Component on Sun Jul 18th at 11:51pm 2004


stared at the beautiful woman following me [addsig]



Quote
Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by $loth on Mon Jul 19th at 7:25am 2004


Which happened to be....Sharon Ozbourne! [addsig]



Quote
Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by Campaignjunkie on Mon Jul 19th at 7:56am 2004


Then I realized Sharon "Ozbourne" was not beautiful nor a woman and turned back to the old wrinkled nudist. However, I noted something particularly odd about his chickens. They were acting strangely, almost as if the old man was training them to
[addsig]




Quote
Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by Hugh on Mon Jul 19th at 7:57am 2004


wreak anarchistic havoc among the world's elite!



Quote
Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by gimpinthesink on Mon Jul 19th at 10:07am 2004


bog snorklers. But the old wrinkled nudist (who I was now begining to think looked like Mick Jagger) had forgot that chickens couldn't swim
[addsig]




Quote
Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by Gwil on Mon Jul 19th at 10:14am 2004


but, in time honoured fashion they most certainly COULD cross the road - I was about to ask why, but realised the "punchline" was more horrific than I could ever contemplate, the chickens had..


[addsig]




Quote
Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by $loth on Mon Jul 19th at 11:05am 2004


Chicken P0x! [addsig]



Quote
Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by fishy on Mon Jul 19th at 2:30pm 2004


and they were taking out their fury at being thwarted by the bog snorklers habitat, by singing jason donovan songs. people were falling all around me, but i could feel something throbbing at my crotch.

it was james browns thong. it was protecting me from the evil wail of the mad chickens. but was it worth it?.............

hurriedly, i...............





Quote
Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by Biological Component on Tue Jul 20th at 5:32am 2004


vomited at the thought of where my undergarments had been before they came into my posession. Images of James Brown haunt me to this day, you know. Now where was I...

OH! Yes, I was telling you about... [addsig]




Quote
Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by Hugh on Tue Jul 20th at 6:56am 2004


peaches and the vermin-infested factory that they were genetically malformed in. These peaches could destroy the world if they fell into the wrong hands... but was there really a "right hands" for something so vile, so evil, that they still tasted good before the rapid onset of ebola?



Quote
Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by Atrocity on Tue Jul 20th at 1:06pm 2004


an ebola that could malform ones state of mind to think that school is good for you. And then this terrible plauge started to infest the world, a tactical team of.......



Quote
Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by $loth on Tue Jul 20th at 1:21pm 2004


smart blondes, who had just got into government, had issued a warrenty for your arrest, apperntly the nazis that you had killed, were producing an antidote for the removal of this hideous virus!

[addsig]




Quote
Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by Cassius on Tue Jul 20th at 4:35pm 2004


? posted by $loth

smart blondes,

plot hole





Quote
Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by Biological Component on Tue Jul 20th at 5:44pm 2004


As this knowledge came to light, I stopped to ponder the situation. This was a very introspective time for me and I was quite vulnerable to itching fits. I was scratching my lower back when I noticed that the tag on James Brown's thong was unusually thick. Turns out, it was a long strip of microfilm, folded several hundred times, and containing the formulae for the antidote! [addsig]



Quote
Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by matt on Tue Jul 20th at 5:59pm 2004


However, there seemed to be an adult movie contained on the microfilm as well as the antidote, so I sat down and opened up a bag of pop corn...



Quote
Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by $loth on Tue Jul 20th at 8:37pm 2004


After several sticky tissues later and a bag of popcorn I was ready to carry on with producing the antidote to the virus.

[addsig]





locked