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The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
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 Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by G.Ballblue on Thu Jul 15th at 2:15am 2004

Alfred Hitchock walk in walking a Yorki. The two sat down on bar stool, and the yorki said " I'll have a saspirilla, and fatso here will have a tall glass of perspective." I immeadiately [addsig]



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 Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by Tracer Bullet on Thu Jul 15th at 2:20am 2004

piled as many of my brains as I could back into the gaping jagged hole in my skull, and tried to slink away before I became the murder victim for a Carry Grant film. [addsig]



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 Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by DesPlesda on Thu Jul 15th at 4:29am 2004

And they all drank lemonade. Britney was exhumed and made into a reanimated undead puppet for the Soulless Minions of Orthodoxy, because



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 Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by fraggard on Thu Jul 15th at 8:04am 2004

..*someone* had read this sign

and decided that she matched the job perfectly. So they...





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 Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by $loth on Thu Jul 15th at 10:23am 2004

Decided to become extremists and force people to join there 'religion', to do this they..... [addsig]



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 Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by G.Ballblue on Thu Jul 15th at 3:46pm 2004

would force people into a small, uncomfortable looking 7X11 room, with one chair, a light hanging from the ceiling, and torture them with squeeky pet toys.

Having discovered that this was going on, I turned to Hitchcok and asked him what the plan was

[addsig]



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 Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by Tracer Bullet on Thu Jul 15th at 4:28pm 2004

"The Birds" he replied simply, and I had a chilling feeling I knew what he meant...



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 Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by $loth on Thu Jul 15th at 4:39pm 2004

We went to his underground layer to view some footage of his project: The birds.
I sat down in a very uncomfortable wooden chair, and starting watching the footage. The scenes of lust, despair and humilitation would never be wiped clean from my mind. Afterwards he turned to me and asked.......

[addsig]



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 Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by Biological Component on Thu Jul 15th at 5:31pm 2004

"Shall we release the Birds then?" [addsig]



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 Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by Tracer Bullet on Thu Jul 15th at 5:55pm 2004

"Yes, right away" I cried "but keep the alcaselzer tablets handy"

Horror and mayhem ensued...





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 Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by G.Ballblue on Thu Jul 15th at 6:00pm 2004

The only person who knew what that meant was the pet ant I had discovered while at the mental buildings, who had used his therm otic shield to make himself invisible and was sitting on my shoulder at that moment. Alcesezar was our codename for what we called "plan X" and we would have to do "plan X" when these birds were released... [addsig]



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 Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by yompk on Thu Jul 15th at 6:01pm 2004

but how could we? [addsig]



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 Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by matt on Thu Jul 15th at 6:05pm 2004

By using some sort of magic sword of course!



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 Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by $loth on Thu Jul 15th at 6:07pm 2004

We would have to feed 'plan x' to the birds when they least expected it...at lunch time! We will spike thier lunch's and set the birds free over london at rush hour! [addsig]



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 Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by Crono on Thu Jul 15th at 7:54pm 2004

As noon approched, we were anxious ... then I suddenly realized, Hitchc**k was dead! I turned to him and asked, "aren't you dead??" "I'm an advanced clone, 'go genome' ... now watch the birds" he replied. As we sat on a pourch in his enourmos cloned house, we could see the entire city scape. When noon finally arrived I thought, "this is it", but I was wrong. It seemed that two years before hand NASA, who had become an international 'STOPPER' company after the first martian tried to come back from, well, Mars, released a 'new and improved bird zapper: For the pesky birds who s**t on your car'. Alfred and I watched in horror as these birds were zapped out of the sky ... making roast fessant for anyone on the ground.

Alfred and I, in disapointment from our-desater-causing-blue-balls, began talking. I inquiried about everything and anything I could get him to talk about. I found out that after the genome project was completed humans begane cloning model houses and enlarging them, a 2 week construction time was common. He was talking about the cloning process of humans as well, "You see, anyone can be clones from the smallest fragment which contains their DNA. But, the only problem is the cloning process retrogrades your body and causes it to reject your own blood. Thus doctors came up with the idea of putting some super liquid or some crap in place", "SO, THATS why it started melting my bones" I replied, when .... [addsig]



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 Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by $loth on Thu Jul 15th at 8:13pm 2004

A big s**t filled bird fell burnt from the sky, it landed right in front of us, burnt to a crisp. I turned to see if Alfred was ok, but he had suffered noticable burns to his face, it seems our plan had backfired. We went to get up when... [addsig]



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 Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by Crono on Thu Jul 15th at 8:15pm 2004

The gastapo came knocking on the door, "werid", I thought. [addsig]



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 Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by Biological Component on Fri Jul 16th at 2:52am 2004

I took my eye away from the peephole and opened the door for the man.

"Hello, this is the residence of the late Alfred Hitchc**k?" the Gestapo asked.

"Why yes indeed," I replied. "Are you here for his silverware?"

"If it's not too much trouble," he smiled at me.

So I showed the man to the kitchen and allowed him to retrieve Mr. Hitchc**k's silverware set from the drawer next to the dishwasher.

"Stay for tea, will you?" I asked.

"I'd be delighted!" he said, and then we sat down for a cup of Earl Grey. We were having a lovely conversation about different methods of torture, when a rock flew through the window... [addsig]



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 Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by Tracer Bullet on Fri Jul 16th at 3:16am 2004

It rebounded from his helmet and into the teacup splattering what was apearently his best uniform tunic. "Ein heslich Juden!" he raged jumping up and knocking over the table "Wir mussen alle ermordet! Hail Hitler!"

I thoght this sho of hatred and emotiion was a bit over the top, but I finnished my cup before, leaping up and pretending to be just as enraged about the incident as he apearently was.

Eventualy he calmed down, by which time I had managed to sneak his sidarm out of it's holster while he had been yelling out the window.

He sat down and smiled and righted the table, his pleasent Arian face alight with pleasure at the thought of the ovens back at his base.

The expression melted as I calmly brought the luger up, and punched a 9mm hole stright through his left eye. Blood and brains spatterd reflected from the incide of his helmet and slopped down the back of his neck leaving a bloody pool. on the floor beneith the chair. he was balenced so perfectly, he didn't even fall. just sat there with a smoking hole in his forehead and a piece of brain drooping on his shoulder.

I promptly vomited on the table, despite the justification of my action. I hastily sketched a star of david in the pool of half-digested crumpets and tea, before taking his Stg-44, two potatoe masher grenades, a few spare clips, and exiting out the back...





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 Re: The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts
Posted by G.Ballblue on Fri Jul 16th at 3:44am 2004

I saw what appeared to be a... time warp?

"Hmm.. well that's little out of the ordinary, having a time warp in the middle of someone's garden-gnome strewn back yard." I said. I stepped in. Surprisingly, it took my BACK in time, BEFORE I awoke in a dark room, with one light hanging from the ceiling, BEFORE I met brittaney, BEFORE I met Paul....

It was 10 minutes before all this began! That gave me 10 minutes to change my future, or I would be doomed to repeat a never ending life of time warping. I decided to...

[addsig]




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