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Stereotypes
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Quote
 Re: Stereotypes
Posted by ding on Fri Jan 21st at 1:57pm 2005

I got something in english lesson which is really funny. It is a piece of paper that includes the "TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING XXXX" - well let's go:

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH:
1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound like a homo.
2. It's easy being a soap dodger.
3. You get to eat s**tty little things like snails and frog's legs.
4. You know what you are ordering in expensive restaurants.
5. You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4.
6. You can test your own nuclear weapons far away from your own doorstep.
7. You can be ugly and still become a famous film star.
8. If there is a war you can surrender really early.
9. You don't have to bother with toilets, just s**t in a hole.
10. People think you are a great lover even when you're crap.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH:
1. Two World Wars and One World Cup doo-dah doo-dah...
2. Warm beer.
3. You get to confuse Yanks with the rules of cricket.
4. You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events.
5. Union Jack underpants.
6. Water shortages guaranteed every single summer.
7. Puts you in with a chance of bedding Joan Collins.
8. Bathing once a week - whether you need to or not.
9. Ditto changing underwear.
10. Beats being Welsh,
11. Err... or Scottish.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN:
1. In-depth knowlegde of bizarre pasta shapes.
2. Not embarrassed to wear fur.
3. No need to worry about tax returns.
4. Glorious military history... well, till about 400 a.d.
5. Can wear sunglasses inside.
6. Political stability.
7. Flexible working hours.
8. Live near the Pope.
9. Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair.
10. Sweating tenors.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH:
1. You can be mistaken for a Mexican all over North America.
2. The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees.
3. You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits, etc...
4. The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans.
5. Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's the real thing.
6. Hard to get the women into bed without marrying them...
7. ... and twice as hard still if you are not Catholic.
8. In fact, the only sure way is to dress up in silly too-tight clothes and risk your life in front of bulls.
9. You get to eat bull's testicles.
10. Supported Argentina in Falklands War.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH:
1. The Guinness is great.
2. The crack is great.
3. You won't get in a crack unless you marry them.
4. You can't have sex with a condom on.
5. Thus you must have sex without one on.
6. No one can ever remember the night before.
7. If you don't agree with me I'll blow you up.
8. The stew is great.
9. The Murphy's is great.
10. Err... Best pop down the pub and have a think...

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING BELGIAN:
1. You can speak three languages in one sentence without realizing it.
2. You get to own a dog that is smaller than your cat.
3. You can go out for a beer at 3.00 a.m., and the bar is just starting to liven up.
4. You can speak French as your native language without actually being French.
5. When driving you can try to kill every pedestrian that dares to step on a zebra crossing.
6. You never have to tip in restaurants or cabs.
7. No-one knows where your country is.
8. You can step in a dozen different varieties of dogs**t between you front door and your car.
9. You have a royal family that no-one's ever heard of.
10. You can queue for an hour in the post office to buy a stamp and think it was good service.


That's it. Maybe you can find TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN or AMERICAN, etc. [addsig]



Quote
 Re: Stereotypes
Posted by DrGlass on Fri Jan 21st at 2:20pm 2005

Lets all the americans and german make up a list.

I'll go first.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN:
1. You get the exclusive right to mesure everything based on the size of a dead English man's body parts.




Quote
 Re: Stereotypes
Posted by Orpheus on Fri Jan 21st at 2:27pm 2005

? quoting DrGlass
Lets all the Americans and German make up a list.

I'll go first.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN:
1. You get the exclusive right to measure everything based on the size of a dead English man's body parts.
2. You get the pleasure of never quite comparing to the image other countries portray you as.

[addsig]



Quote
 Re: Stereotypes
Posted by thursday- on Fri Jan 21st at 5:29pm 2005

? quote:

? quoting DrGlass
Lets all the Americans and German make up a list.

I'll go first.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN:
1. You get the exclusive right to measure everything based on the size of a dead English man's body parts.
2. You get the pleasure of never quite comparing to the image other countries portray you as.

3. You as a public have the right to vote the most stupid Presedential candidate to run office.

[addsig]



Quote
 Re: Stereotypes
Posted by $loth on Fri Jan 21st at 5:36pm 2005

? quote:

5. Union Jack underpants.


Hey, those y-fronts rule!

But you need to update it, the bathing once a week seems....so 50's.
[addsig]



Quote
 Re: Stereotypes
Posted by Leperous on Fri Jan 21st at 6:01pm 2005

Top 10 reasons for being German:

1) Your mother and father were German
2) Er... that's it

Top 10 advantages to being German:

1) You're fairly near Lego Land
2) Moustaches, beer, and big ladies named Helga
3) You have silly long words for simple things, e.g. Donaudampfschiffahrtsgesellschaftskapitaenskajuetenklinenputzergehilfe
4) Er... that's it





Quote
 Re: Stereotypes
Posted by Tracer Bullet on Fri Jan 21st at 6:17pm 2005

? quoting thursday-

? quote:

? quoting DrGlass
Lets all the Americans and German make up a list.

I'll go first.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN:
1. You get the exclusive right to measure everything based on the size of a dead English man's body parts.
2. You get the pleasure of never quite comparing to the image other countries portray you as.

3. You as a public have the right to vote the most stupid Presedential candidate to run office.
4. No one expects you to speak any language but English.
5. You get all the video games and movies FIRST, and then have the privilege of laughing at everyone else.
6. You have a very simple but effective way to get nearly anybody to laugh. Just fake a British accent, and everyone around you goes into stitches.

[addsig]



Quote
 Re: Stereotypes
Posted by Nickelplate on Fri Jan 21st at 6:17pm 2005

? quoting Leperous
Top 10 reasons for being German:

1) Your mother and father were German
2) Er... that's it

Top 10 advantages to being German:

1) You're fairly near Lego Land
2) Moustaches, beer, and big ladies named Helga
3) You have silly long words for simple things, e.g. Donaudampfschiffahrtsgesellschaftskapitaenskajuetenklinenputzergehilfe
4) Er... that's it

5) Lederhosen!

[addsig]



Quote
 Re: Stereotypes
Posted by Loco on Fri Jan 21st at 6:56pm 2005

? quote:

1. Two World Wars and One World Cup doo-dah doo-dah...

That'll be two world cups if you count the rugby and not just the Germans

[addsig]



Quote
 Re: Stereotypes
Posted by Cash Car Star on Fri Jan 21st at 8:13pm 2005

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN:
1. You get the exclusive right to measure everything based on the size of a dead English man's body parts.
2. You get the pleasure of never quite comparing to the image other countries portray you as.
3. You as a public have the right to vote the most stupid Presedential candidate to run office.
4. No one expects you to speak any language but English.
5. You get all the video games and movies FIRST, and then have the privilege of laughing at everyone else.
6. You have a very simple but effective way to get nearly anybody to laugh. Just fake a British accent, and everyone around you goes into stitches.
7. Your cheese comes sliced and individually wrapped.





Quote
 Re: Stereotypes
Posted by $loth on Fri Jan 21st at 8:14pm 2005

? quote:
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN:

7. Your cheese comes sliced and individually wrapped.



You should really change that to disgusting processed cheese.
[addsig]



Quote
 Re: Stereotypes
Posted by Nickelplate on Fri Jan 21st at 9:01pm 2005

? quoting $loth

? quote:
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN:

7. Your cheese comes sliced and individually wrapped.


You should really change that to disgusting processed cheese.

I would rather have the "american 'cheese'" than the stilton i had in england. (stilton was good on a pasty though. It was just gross when it was plain.) and what about germans and thier limberger AGGGGGGGGGGG!

[addsig]



Quote
 Re: Stereotypes
Posted by omegaslayer on Fri Jan 21st at 9:09pm 2005

? quoting Cash Car Star
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN:
1. You get the exclusive right to measure everything based on the size of a dead English man's body parts.
2. You get the pleasure of never quite comparing to the image other countries portray you as.
3. You as a public have the right to vote the most stupid Presedential candidate to run office.
4. No one expects you to speak any language but English.
5. You get all the video games and movies FIRST, and then have the privilege of laughing at everyone else.
6. You have a very simple but effective way to get nearly anybody to laugh. Just fake a British accent, and everyone around you goes into stitches.
7. Your cheese comes sliced and individually wrapped.

8. You have an excuse for being overweight (you call it an eating disorder epidemic)

[addsig]



Quote
 Re: Stereotypes
Posted by Tracer Bullet on Fri Jan 21st at 9:37pm 2005

? quoting $loth

? quote:
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN:

7. Your cheese comes sliced and individually wrapped.


You should really change that to disgusting processed cheese.

No worries. There is a nasty teratogenic chemical (diethylhexylpathalate) that leaches out of the wrappings. Anyone who eats fatty foods wraped individualy in clear plastic is reducing their chances of reproductive success, hence, evolution will eventualy phase it out.

[addsig]



Quote
 Re: Stereotypes
Posted by $loth on Fri Jan 21st at 9:40pm 2005

w0w, all i've got to say is haha to all those fat people.
btw, I don't have a clue what those chemicals are [i'm on at AS level chemistry learing about redox etc.]

? quote:
I would rather have the "american 'cheese'" than the stilton i had in england.


I don't think I've ever had that, I just usually get cheddar from shops/sometimes deli.

mmmm...... cheese,lettuce and hummous sandwhich.
[addsig]



Quote
 Re: Stereotypes
Posted by Nickelplate on Sat Jan 22nd at 1:49am 2005

Well, I got a Pasty at the St. Pancras tube station that was beef and stilton and it was good, so i decided to buy a hunk at Spar when i got back to norwich, it was some of the nastiest cheese i've ever had.

That sandwich you mention actually sounds rather good (.com)

[addsig]



Quote
 Re: Stereotypes
Posted by BlisTer on Sat Jan 22nd at 5:02am 2005

these had me lol:

? quoting ding

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH:
9. You don't have to bother with toilets, just s**t in a hole.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH:
7. Puts you in with a chance of bedding Joan Collins.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN:
5. Can wear sunglasses inside.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH:
3. You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits, etc...
4. The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING BELGIAN:
7. No-one knows where your country is.
8. You can step in a dozen different varieties of dogs**t between you front door and your car.

numbers 5, 6 and 10 arent true anymore and should be updated
numbers 1, 3 and 4 make me proud
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN:
8. You have an excuse for being overweight (you call it an eating disorder epidemic)

[addsig]



Quote
 Re: Stereotypes
Posted by Cassius on Sat Jan 22nd at 9:42am 2005

Sounds like it sucks to be Spanish. [addsig]



Quote
 Re: Stereotypes
Posted by Gwil on Sat Jan 22nd at 5:20pm 2005

? quote:
Well, I got a Pasty at the St. Pancras tube station that was beef and stilton and it was good, so i decided to buy a hunk at Spar when i got back to norwich, it was some of the nastiest cheese i've ever had.

That sandwich you mention actually sounds rather good (.com)



You made the fatal mistake of visiting a Spar, or other branded "large shop/mini supermarket". Avoid anything that looks like it is part of a chain. "Val's cob shop" 50yds down the road will always taste better. and probably be cheaper!

I expect the rule is the same in America.
[addsig]



Quote
 Re: Stereotypes
Posted by Tracer Bullet on Sat Jan 22nd at 5:23pm 2005

? quoting Gwil

? quote:
Well, I got a Pasty at the St. Pancras tube station that was beef and stilton and it was good, so i decided to buy a hunk at Spar when i got back to norwich, it was some of the nastiest cheese i've ever had.

That sandwich you mention actually sounds rather good (.com)



You made the fatal mistake of visiting a Spar, or other branded "large shop/mini supermarket". Avoid anything that looks like it is part of a chain. "Val's cob shop" 50yds down the road will always taste better. and probably be cheaper!

I expect the rule is the same in America.

No not really. If you want to avoid big chains you have to be prepared for a 50% price hike. However, I think that is mostly because they like to sell you "organic" foods, as if "organic" means anything in that context.

[addsig]




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