i also only read the first 3-4 posts.. here are my stances, but i'm not a parent (god forbid)

a. spank the kids, damnit! ignoring them or putting them down mentally does much more permanant damage than a few welts. we all need to learn who the authority is in our life, and this is a good way. i was spanked, but my father wasn't around to do the same for my younger brother. my little bro is a spoiled lil dick.

b. make sure your kid has a good moral baseline. if he has nothing to gauge his actions with, he'll look to other sources.. ie media, friends, primal instincts. not saying its right to force all of your beliefs on him/her, but make sure they know right from wrong.

c. keep in mind there's a middleground between spoiled and neglected. kids have different definitions of wants and needs.. sometimes kids actually do need $10 to go to the movies with friends.

d. dont restrict them from violent media completely. accompany them, and differenciate what's right and wrong. if you keep this stuff away from them completely, they wont know how to handle it when its brought up and you're not around.

e. educate your kids on sex. avoiding that issue will cause the same outcome as the other subjects.. they'll rely on the wrong sources to make their judgment. and by educate, i dont mean tell them its evil and dont do it. i mean STDs, birth control, the whole deal. (i was talkin about this in another thread.)

umm that's all that comes to mind.

My mum's friend was a primary school teacher at the school I used to go to until recently (well, 'headmistress' of it in fact) in a local prep (private) school. She quit quite recently because she basically said that children were too badly behaved, and you couldn't do anything about it because the parents would come in and complain and kick up a fuss about how you were bullying their children. She told me that the reason for this was because they were overcompensating for something- often, that they'd be working most of the week, so would want to be extra nice to their kids when they get back (and especially wouldn't want them crying and moaning lots after a stressful week!).

First off, there is no such thing as a generally good standard of parenting. Anything major a parent does for their infant child is going to have either radically positive or radically negative effects in the long run, and to my mind it's virtually impossible to predict the consequences of what you do for a kid.

For example, my parents, both devoutly religious and persistently motivated to infuse their children with religious values, have raised a brood of cynical agnostics. They've both lived fairly model lives, are almost stoic in their morality, and have always done their absolute best to ensure our well being, and yet two of us - myself and my older brother - have had some terrible things happen to us in our lives and are now extremely skeptical of our futures.

I don't think a child should be taught from the start to question anything. In fact, I don't think you can be taught to question. You have to learn that for yourself.

For the most part, each of you are replying in the "first person" sense. This is good in a way, it shows you are not in denial about yourself. You may have a false image of yourself, I am not sure anyone actually sees themselves in a proper light but it is good to know that you are thinking about it.

My real goal, and its important to know this is, why is there there so many parents whom are getting it wrong? Of course, there will always be those whom are gonna say "what gives you the right to say its wrong?" or "what makes you believe you are in a position to judge?"

read my example in the PFL forums. yeah there are many examples of good parenting and bad parenting, but my primary example of bad parenting is toddlers misbehaving in public. I am not really concerned with teens (as this thread is turning out to WANT to discuss).. Parents these days, or better MANY parents these days show no inclination at all to make their very young behave in public. You cannot go into any restaurants these days without a child wailing about something. You cannot go into a walk-in theater without some small child bawling for a bottle. You cannot go into a store without some small child screaming for a toy.

Now, be objective here people. Be observant as well... look around you and note just how many children you see that "could have" been at least scolded for their actions in public.

It sounds to me like loutish behavior in general is one of Britain's greatest problems unless those kids are saints while sober. I've never met a violent/hostile drinker (underage or not) myself, though I know America's host to its fair share of the beasts.