My Book
Post Reply
Quote
Re: My Book
Posted by Nickelplate on Tue Aug 16th at 2:48am 2005


I'm in the process of writing a few books right now, I love to make s**t up and I want to make money from it, because I'm pretty creative.

The one I'm making right now is called a "Toilet Journal"

While sitting on the john one day, it occurred to me that some of the best ideas we have come to us while in the loo. One of my better ideas in years popped into my head just then. I will make a small bathroom firendly book with attached writing utensil that you can write them down in. It will be a small book with lined pages. at the top of each page will be a funny quote or fun fact about toilets and bathrooms and poop. There will be 5 or 6 sheets of emergency toilet paper in the back as a cute touch and the cover will look like toilet paper.

I'm collecting quotes and limericks and stuff for it now, Anyone got any?




I tried sniffing coke, but the ice cubes kept getting stuck in my nose.
http://www.dimebowl.com



Quote
Re: My Book
Posted by Addicted to Morphine on Tue Aug 16th at 2:59am 2005


When you're climbing up a ladder and you hear something splatter...


you know the rest of the song.




Quote
Re: My Book
Posted by Nickelplate on Tue Aug 16th at 4:36am 2005


When you're drivin' in your chevy and your pants start feelin heavy,
When you're sliding into third and you feel a juicy turd,
etc.



I tried sniffing coke, but the ice cubes kept getting stuck in my nose.
http://www.dimebowl.com



Quote
Re: My Book
Posted by Tracer Bullet on Tue Aug 16th at 5:42am 2005


Funny, since I was recently at someone's house where they had a notebook and a pen reserved just for this purpose. They called it the toilet guest book.


Some people are like slinkys...

They aren?t really good for anything, but you can't help but laugh when one tumbles down the stairs.



Quote
Re: My Book
Posted by Crapceeper on Tue Aug 16th at 2:16pm 2005


I have placed a pad next to my bed so I can scribble down my dreams. Unfortunately I can't write while I'm sleeping. And as soon as I wake up I have either forgotten what I dreamed or I don't have the time to write it down.


Considering all this; I assume a loo-pad would be the best idea since the invention of the electrical refigerator.

Nickelplate; you're a genious.

PS. This week seems really crappy meeting in IRC because I have to go to bed early, because I need to get upt not so late. I will be away over the weekend. But after that I am going to fix that issue.


Regard; and good lock.



Never try to be perfect - just try it and make the best out of it



Quote
Re: My Book
Posted by OtZman on Tue Aug 16th at 2:52pm 2005


Nice idea. Good luck and be sure to let us know all the fun facts about poop. <img src=" SRC="images/smiles/icon_wink.gif">






Quote
Re: My Book
Posted by Windows 98 on Tue Aug 16th at 4:56pm 2005


I think there are books out there about this, where it just has random useless facts you can read while takin a big one.






Quote
Re: My Book
Posted by Nickelplate on Wed Aug 17th at 2:21am 2005


? quoting Windows 98
I think there are books out there about this, where it just has random useless facts you can read while takin a big one.

Yeah, but does that book have the place you can write your poop-ideas? (which are some of the best Ideas we have, because it's our "alone time")

AND a pen for it? AND maybe I WILL put a guestbook part in it. If that angle pans out




I tried sniffing coke, but the ice cubes kept getting stuck in my nose.
http://www.dimebowl.com



Quote
Re: My Book
Posted by fishy on Wed Aug 17th at 3:34am 2005


i found a dead guy on the toilet one morning at work.




i eat paint



Quote
Re: My Book
Posted by OtZman on Wed Aug 17th at 3:44am 2005


wow, err, where do you work?






Quote
Re: My Book
Posted by Nickelplate on Wed Aug 17th at 3:57am 2005


A church, lol.




I tried sniffing coke, but the ice cubes kept getting stuck in my nose.
http://www.dimebowl.com



Quote
Re: My Book
Posted by mazemaster on Wed Aug 17th at 4:38am 2005


Seriously?

Thats so weird it might actually be true...






Quote
Re: My Book
Posted by Windows 98 on Wed Aug 17th at 6:11am 2005


Did he really die trying to push one out? What has America come to if its to much for us to s**t...






Quote
Re: My Book
Posted by fishy on Wed Aug 17th at 1:15pm 2005


? quoting Windows 98
Did he really die trying to push one out? What has America come to if its to much for us to s**t...

not everyone that posts here is from america, btw. i'm certainly not, and neither was the dead guy. but that aside, it's still very common for people to die of heart attacks while straining to push out a s**t.

and it was a hostel that i worked in, not a church. i played 'hunt the stiff' every morning for many years, and i think i made double figures, though maybe it was one or two short. the strangest was finding one in the same room 2 days running.




i eat paint



Quote
Re: My Book
Posted by Windows 98 on Wed Aug 17th at 3:27pm 2005


THERE WAS 2!? HOLY CRAP!






Quote
Re: My Book
Posted by Crapceeper on Wed Aug 17th at 3:31pm 2005


You're calling me?

Want some? Come and get some.


Do you know what they died of? Drugs or what?



Never try to be perfect - just try it and make the best out of it



Quote
Re: My Book
Posted by Tracer Bullet on Wed Aug 17th at 4:17pm 2005


It may not be entirely relevant, but I once saw the following written on a bathroom stall:

They paint these walls to silence my pen,

But the s**t-Can Poet strikes again.

I thought it was clever. Enough so that it has stuck in my mind for five years now.




Some people are like slinkys...

They aren?t really good for anything, but you can't help but laugh when one tumbles down the stairs.



Quote
Re: My Book
Posted by fishy on Wed Aug 17th at 4:41pm 2005


no, not drugs. the 2 in a row were old guys that already had a smell of clay about them, so old age/hard living. Harry, the guy on the toilet had a massive heart attack, and will forever have the shape of the toilet seat embedded on his arse. (for some reason, i always think of Harrys arse when i think about him. :/)

i've found a few that have died from drug overdoses though, and helped save probably dozens more.




i eat paint



Quote
Re: My Book
Posted by Windows 98 on Wed Aug 17th at 4:47pm 2005


Hmmm, Ive only seen dead people at wakes. It must "scare the s**t out of you" when you have to pinch one out and you open the stall to crap and theres a dead guy sitting there.






Quote
Re: My Book
Posted by DrGlass on Wed Aug 17th at 10:15pm 2005


? quoting Windows 98
Hmmm, Ive only seen dead people at wakes. It must "scare the s**t out of you" when you have to pinch one out and you open the stall to crap and theres a dead guy sitting there.

Why anyone would want to take a poop in a stall that had someone in it is beyond me.






Post Reply