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Official Joke Thread
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 Re: Official Joke Thread
Posted by parakeet on Mon Aug 22nd at 2:24pm 2005

also.. the joke wasn't funny...

i have a joke with my friend about *orange jews* but thats cuz i know him and he doesnt really care lol. its just a reallllly bad pun... and those kinda jokes should really be a personal thing if at all said. imo <img src=" SRC="images/smiles/icon_wink.gif">



.else /me ~kill you
www.arclan.net



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 Re: Official Joke Thread
Posted by Dr Brasso on Mon Aug 22nd at 2:32pm 2005

ya know, ive been coming to this site for a few years now, and this is the first time ive actually been truly suprised at the responses on this topic....the pit has changed....back in the days of gollum and such, this would have been grounds for a serious and analytical ass reeming.....its a general banter forum.....so banter.....im as white as german rice, and i find it quite distasteful to think of someone on this site being truly and maliciously hurt by someones own stupid and inconsiderate remarks, even if it was a s**tty attempt at humor....theres plenty of sites around to bash whomever or whatever you like, but this is a mapping site, frequented by all manner of folk, all skin tones, and all skill levels. not to mention all ages. is this really the kind of attitude you'd like your kid to learn? i mean seriously....they'll learn their own bigotries on their qwn quite soon enough.

? posted by fishy
deleted? are you getting soft in your golden years Doc?

nope, not soft fishman, i havent changed.....i just wasnt going to jump the gun too fast....his rebuttal is what really punches my buttons....

Dr Brasso...





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 Re: Official Joke Thread
Posted by Tracer Bullet on Mon Aug 22nd at 2:35pm 2005

? quoting Myrk-
You know what pisses me off the most about this site? You lot and your equal rights and political correctness, your far too into it.

I'm guessing your all against Jew jokes, ethiopian jokes, and anything to do with race, country of origin, or anything taboo. Well congrats, you cut the joke list to 1/100th of its original size!

You may well be right about that Myrk, and we may have over-reacted just a tad but. However, I think that is due to the simple fact that the initial joke was so terribly derogatory! I wasn't even tempted to laugh at that one. There is a difference between a joke which insinuates that polish people are stupid, and a joke that suggests polish people are worthless trash who might as well be flushed down the toilet at birth. There is also a certain cultural sense which allows most people to discern which racial jokes are OK and which are not. In general, jokes about other Caucasian ethnicities are far more acceptable because it is too ridiculous for most people to believe (in this country anyway) that anyone could seriously hold it against you for being of German rather than English descent. There is a whole scale that depends on your local culture.

All that said however, I'd also like to point out that racial jokes are in general some of the least-funny elements of popular humor I can think of.

OK, this may not be the right company for this one, but it's all I can think of atm.

Heisenberg was driving in his car when he was pulled over for speeding:

Officer: "Do you know how fast you were going, sir!?"

Heisenberg: "No, I've no idea. However I knew exactly where I was!"

If you don't get this joke, count yourself lucky, and call me a nerd.




Some people are like slinkys...

They aren?t really good for anything, but you can't help but laugh when one tumbles down the stairs.



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 Re: Official Joke Thread
Posted by Adam Hawkins on Mon Aug 22nd at 3:15pm 2005

I don't think you're making a very good name for yourself Windows. First it was the offensive picture thread taking the mickey out of people who don't deserve it, and now racist jokes.

I'm finding it increasingly easy to not like you.




You Got To Get Through What You've Got To Go Through To Get What You Want But You Got To Know What You Want To Get Through What You Got To Go Through



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 Re: Official Joke Thread
Posted by ReNo on Mon Aug 22nd at 3:40pm 2005

I hadn't actually read any of the thread and thought that Myrk was making just a general comment that the jokes so far had been too "tame". Having now seen the new replies and gone back to read the first joke, I completely agree that it is a really offensive thing to say. Windows, I think its a bit late for me to bother deleting as its now been quoted and what not, but in future show a bit of decency and restraint please.




Designer @ Haiku Interactive | ReNo-vation.net



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 Re: Official Joke Thread
Posted by Kain on Mon Aug 22nd at 3:44pm 2005

? quoting Andrei



A squad of American soldiers was patrolling the Iraqi border, when they came across a badly mangled dead body.




Damn! I knew a joke who starts exactly like that; then I dunno what goes in the middle, but it ends with something like "It only hurts when I laugh"; man, that was a great joke, it's such a shame I cannot recall the missing parts...

Damn...





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 Re: Official Joke Thread
Posted by French Toast on Mon Aug 22nd at 3:44pm 2005

Has anyone other than me noticed that the threads that start out with something offensive or insulting are always the ones that are posted in longest? Like take "Forums Suck" for example. In most forums, it would have drifted out of atention in no time. However, here it'll become a "popular" topic in days.

Whereas other, potentially more intelligent starts to threads disappear to page two in no time.




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 Re: Official Joke Thread
Posted by WarloK on Mon Aug 22nd at 4:15pm 2005

Inverness is an ultimate place for jokes.

Blonde Jokes:
2 blondes walk into a building, you would have thought one of them had seen it.
Q:Why are Blondes coffins triangular. A: Whenever their head hits a pillow their legs open.
A blonde walks into Comet. The manager says "sorry we don't serve blondes," So the blonde goes home and dies her hair red. She returns to the shop and takes a tele box to the counter. I would likke to buy tv please. The man says " sorry we don't serve blondes," and the blonde replies " how did you know i was a blonde?"
the clerk replies " Because thats a bloody microwave!".

Irishman, scottishman, englishman:
An Irishman a scottishman and an Englishman are walking down the road when suddenly a genie appears and tells them they have one wish each.
The Irishman says, well, i wish that i haed the most bueutiful wife in all the land.
The Englishman says, I want to be a rich aand powerful English lord.
The Scottishman says, i wish my willie was soo big that i touched the floor.
The next morning the Irishman wakes up with a bueatiful woman beside him. The Englishman wakes up in a huge house with sevants buzzing at his every need. The Scottishman wakes up to find that he has no legs.




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 Re: Official Joke Thread
Posted by Nickelplate on Mon Aug 22nd at 4:29pm 2005

I noticed that the "offensive threads" get lots of posts too.

TB, nerd. But it was funny.




I tried sniffing coke, but the ice cubes kept getting stuck in my nose.
http://www.dimebowl.com



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 Re: Official Joke Thread
Posted by Forceflow on Mon Aug 22nd at 4:50pm 2005

I really don't get TB's one.

And yeah, racism is poo.



:: Forceflow.be :: Nuclear Dawn developer



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 Re: Official Joke Thread
Posted by DrGlass on Mon Aug 22nd at 5:36pm 2005

Myrk, I'm all for racial hurmor, I joke around with black, white, red, green friends all the time but jokes like that arn't good jokes. The humor comes from the shock, and here on the pit most people dont enjoy that kind of humor.

Take Huge's joke, its clever!

compared to windows joke

black woman have babies! hahahaha (it isn't funny)




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 Re: Official Joke Thread
Posted by French Toast on Mon Aug 22nd at 5:54pm 2005

One thing that must be established though, Blonde jokes are never funny. They stopped being funny before the first one.




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 Re: Official Joke Thread
Posted by Andrei on Mon Aug 22nd at 5:55pm 2005



I'm not against racist jokes; I just think that joke was offensive (saying that black people are s**t).

------------------

The German controllers at Frankfurt Airport are a short-tempered lot. They not only expect you to know your parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that, while visiting the cockpit aboard a PanAm 747 being piloted by a boyhood chum, I listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground and a British Airways 747 (radio call Speedbird 206) after landing....

Speedbird 206: "Good morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the active."

Ground: "Guten morgan, taxi to your gate."

. . . The British Airways 747 pulls onto the main taxiway and stops.

Ground: "Speedbird 206, do you not know where you are going?"

Speedbird 206: "Stand by, ground, I'm looking up the gate location now."

Ground: (with typical Germanic impatience) ... "Speedbird 206, have you never flown to Frankfurt before?"

Speedbird 206: (coolly) ... "Yes, in 1944. But I didn't stop."








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 Re: Official Joke Thread
Posted by French Toast on Mon Aug 22nd at 5:59pm 2005

Typical german impatience? WAAAHHH RACISM RACISM I'M GERMAN AND I"M OFFENDED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!




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 Re: Official Joke Thread
Posted by rival on Mon Aug 22nd at 6:08pm 2005

------Caution this joke may offend!------


How do you stop a black guy from drowning?


You take your foot off his head.




Bullet Control: $5000 for a bullet.
&quot;I would blow your f**king head off! ...if I could afford it. I'm gonna get another job, start saving some money... then you a dead man!&quot;



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 Re: Official Joke Thread
Posted by Dred_furst on Mon Aug 22nd at 6:09pm 2005

dude, dont post those, one guy got a telling off for it, so stop already!



I need a new sig



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 Re: Official Joke Thread
Posted by French Toast on Mon Aug 22nd at 6:15pm 2005

Yeah, you think you'd learn...




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 Re: Official Joke Thread
Posted by WarloK on Mon Aug 22nd at 7:30pm 2005

I'm shocked and appalled at you Rival *laughs at the Blonde walking by with her underwear on her head*.



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 Re: Official Joke Thread
Posted by Andrei on Mon Aug 22nd at 8:13pm 2005

? quote:
Typical german impatience? WAAAHHH RACISM RACISM I'M GERMAN AND I"M OFFENDED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!


Ok, ok, a joke about a certain romanian dictator:

Nicolae Ceausescu was to hold a speech before his admiring nation with the occasion of the 1975 Olympic Games in Bucharest. He walks onto the podium, arranges his many microphones and, after looking at the sea of people before him, says "Oooooooooooooooooooo...!". Everyone looks around to see what could have shocked the Carpathian Genius so hard. The dictator opens his mouth again and another "...Ooooooooooooo...!" comes out. The crowd starts getting anxious as Ceausescu prepares to launch another series of "ooooooo"s but is interupted by a militia man: "Comrade, those are the olympic circles".




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 Re: Official Joke Thread
Posted by Kain on Mon Aug 22nd at 8:45pm 2005

A bus full of American tourists is crossing some villages in Poland. It's lunch time, the people are hungry, so the bus stops near a local snack, and one of the tourists gets down to order some sandwiches.

- "I'd like 30 burgers please!" he asks to a guy who is apparently the owner of the place. The guy looks at him, doesn't say a thing, and starts making the burgers and grumbling, clearly irritated by the stranger.So the tourist asks him:

- "Is everything ok? You look a little pissed off; is there something wrong?"

- "You're American, aren't you?"

- "Yes."

- "You make fun of us, with your jokes; you think we're stupid!"

- "Hey come on, he answers him; it's just jokes, really, nobody takes it seriously. Don't feel offended, you shouldn't be". So the cook says:

- "I'll show you how smart we are: ask me anything!"

Now the tourist who doesn't wanna irritate the man, starts talking with him about politics, cultures, science, history, arts... And the restaurant owner shows really a lot of knowledge; this humble fellow understands a lot of things, in all kinds of fields... The tourist is really impressed:

- "Wow!! he says. That's really impressing! I mean you're just a restaurant owner, and you know all these things that even I haven't heard of... From now on I'll tell everyone I know how Polish people are really smart and cultivated."

The owner smiles at last! Then he asks the tourist:

- "Ok! The 30 burgers are ready! You wanna eat them here, or you take them with you?"

...






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