...too smart to be true

Inna morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I wanna two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna to piss onna my plate. She say you better no piss onna plate you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch.

Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table you sonna ma bitch.

So I go back to my room inna hotel and there is no s**ts onna my bed. Call the manager and tella him I wanna s**t. He tell me to go to toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna s**t onna my bed. He say you better not s**t onna bed, you sonna ma bitch.

I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: 'Peace on you.'

I say piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch, I gonna back to Italy.