Q: How do you say Volkswagen in Italian?
A: Fiat.
Re: Recently Laughed
Posted by Stadric on Thu Mar 29th at 4:29am 2007
Posted by Stadric on Thu Mar 29th at 4:29am 2007
Also change the texture of the dock. Docks are rarely tile. -Facepunch
As I Lay Dying
As I Lay Dying
Re: Recently Laughed
Posted by Le Chief on Fri Apr 6th at 1:21pm 2007
Posted by Le Chief on Fri Apr 6th at 1:21pm 2007
Before I say this joke I just want to let everybody know I am NOT raceist. I am not intending to offend anyone. Its just thet my Dad really lughed at this joke.
Theres a Black guy and a Lebanese guy in a car. Who's driving the car?
The cop. HA HA HA HA, no.
...
Re: Recently Laughed
Posted by Tracer Bullet on Sat Apr 14th at 5:27am 2007
Tracer Bullet
member
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Registered: May 22nd 2003
Location: Seattle WA, USA
Occupation: Graduate Student (Ph.D)
Posted by Tracer Bullet on Sat Apr 14th at 5:27am 2007
How did the Scotsman find the sheep in the tall grass? (Black text punchline)
Very Satisfying!
Tracer Bullet
member
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Registered: May 22nd 2003
Location: Seattle WA, USA
Occupation: Graduate Student (Ph.D)
Some people are like slinkys...
They aren?t really good for anything, but you can't help but laugh when one tumbles down the stairs.
They aren?t really good for anything, but you can't help but laugh when one tumbles down the stairs.
Re: Recently Laughed
Posted by smackintosh on Sat Apr 14th at 7:07am 2007
Posted by smackintosh on Sat Apr 14th at 7:07am 2007
Q> When do you slap a midget?
A> When he tells you, "your hair smells terrific..."
A> When he tells you, "your hair smells terrific..."
don't sweat the petty stuff,just pet the sweaty stuff.
Re: Recently Laughed
Posted by Stadric on Thu Apr 19th at 2:08am 2007
Posted by Stadric on Thu Apr 19th at 2:08am 2007
xkcd is a great webcomic. It's one of my regulars.
Also change the texture of the dock. Docks are rarely tile. -Facepunch
As I Lay Dying
As I Lay Dying
Re: Recently Laughed
Posted by sgtfly on Thu Apr 19th at 10:53pm 2007
sgtfly
member
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Registered: Jan 24th 2005
Location: Batavia,IL USA
Occupation: 5 more years of BS and I'm done. WOOHOO!
Posted by sgtfly on Thu Apr 19th at 10:53pm 2007
two men were talking and the one said, "My wifes favorite sexual position is doggystyle."
The other guy says,"Thats the best one." The other man replies,"Like hell, I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead!"
sgtfly
member
273 posts
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Registered: Jan 24th 2005
Location: Batavia,IL USA
Occupation: 5 more years of BS and I'm done. WOOHOO!
Re: Recently Laughed
Posted by Naklajat on Sun Apr 22nd at 12:49pm 2007
Naklajat
member
1137 posts
207 snarkmarks
Registered: Nov 15th 2004
Location: Austin, Texas
Occupation: Baron
Posted by Naklajat on Sun Apr 22nd at 12:49pm 2007
Naklajat
member
1137 posts
207 snarkmarks
Registered: Nov 15th 2004
Location: Austin, Texas
Occupation: Baron
=o
Re: Recently Laughed
Posted by parakeet on Sun Apr 22nd at 7:13pm 2007
parakeet
member
544 posts
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Registered: Apr 30th 2004
Location: Eastern US
Occupation: n/a
Posted by parakeet on Sun Apr 22nd at 7:13pm 2007
@ Gmod downloads forums..
<silver> the ground's texture sucks ass,but this map is so fun XD
<Mr Squishy> LETS ALL EAT MEATBALLS!!!!
<chrischrischris> no lets just eat my balls....... feast on me........i squrit it all over your face
<mr colgate> It is small...
<zachcool> does this work with gmod9? hope so looks cool.![<img src=]()
" SRC="images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif">
<Negative> zachcool, read above: UPLOAD GMOD 10 FILES ONLY
<lol dude> this is the best map ever!
<ryansg> I LOVE APPLE PIES
<timmyleet> Ah i remeber this map. First map i played when i got HL2 in Oct 31 (HAHA YES I WAS UP ALL NIGHT PLAYING IT THAT DAY)
^-- hmm.. lol
<silver> the ground's texture sucks ass,but this map is so fun XD
<Mr Squishy> LETS ALL EAT MEATBALLS!!!!
<chrischrischris> no lets just eat my balls....... feast on me........i squrit it all over your face
<mr colgate> It is small...
<zachcool> does this work with gmod9? hope so looks cool.
<Negative> zachcool, read above: UPLOAD GMOD 10 FILES ONLY
<lol dude> this is the best map ever!
<ryansg> I LOVE APPLE PIES
<timmyleet> Ah i remeber this map. First map i played when i got HL2 in Oct 31 (HAHA YES I WAS UP ALL NIGHT PLAYING IT THAT DAY)
^-- hmm.. lol
parakeet
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Registered: Apr 30th 2004
Location: Eastern US
Occupation: n/a
Re: Recently Laughed
Posted by Naklajat on Sun Apr 22nd at 7:23pm 2007
Naklajat
member
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Registered: Nov 15th 2004
Location: Austin, Texas
Occupation: Baron
Posted by Naklajat on Sun Apr 22nd at 7:23pm 2007
Calling that a stream of consciousness would be an overstatement. Calling it communication would be an outright lie.
Naklajat
member
1137 posts
207 snarkmarks
Registered: Nov 15th 2004
Location: Austin, Texas
Occupation: Baron
=o
Re: Recently Laughed
Posted by $loth on Mon Apr 23rd at 8:44am 2007
That's welshman
Two nus in a bath, one says to the other "wheres the soap". The other says "yes it does doesn't it".
$loth
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Registered: Feb 27th 2004
Location: South England
Occupation: Student
Posted by $loth on Mon Apr 23rd at 8:44am 2007
? quote:
How did the Scotsman find the sheep in the tall grass? (Black text punchline)</P>
<P><FONT color=black>Very Satisfying!</FONT></P>
That's welshman
Two nus in a bath, one says to the other "wheres the soap". The other says "yes it does doesn't it".
$loth
member
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Registered: Feb 27th 2004
Location: South England
Occupation: Student
Re: Recently Laughed
Posted by Rumple on Tue Apr 24th at 12:50pm 2007
Rumple
member
518 posts
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Registered: Aug 22nd 2001
Location: NSW, Australia
Occupation: Web Dev
Posted by Rumple on Tue Apr 24th at 12:50pm 2007
Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants in the distance?
A: "Look, a herd of elephants in the distance"
Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses
A: Nothing. He doesn't recognize them.
Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of giraffes in the distance?
A: "Haha! You fooled me once with those disguises, but not this time!"
Q: What is the difference between en elephant and a plum?
A: An elephant is grey.
Q: What does Jane say when she sees a herd of elephants in the distance?
A: "Look! A herd of plums in the distance" (Jane is colour blind)
Q: How do you get four elephants into a Mini?
A: Two in the front, two in the back.
Q: What game do four elephants in a mini play?
A: Squash
Q: How do you get an elephant into the fridge?
1. Open door.
2. Insert elephant.
3. Close door.
Q: How do you get a giraffe into the fridge?
1. Open door.
2. Remove elephant.
3. Insert giraffe.
4. Close door.
Q: The lion, the king of the jungle, decided to have a party. He invited all the animals in the jungle, and they all came except one. Which one?
A: The giraffe, because he was still in the fridge.
Q: How do you know there are two elephants in your fridge?
A: The door won't close.
Q: How do you know there are three elephants in your fridge?
A: There'll be one waiting outside in the Mini.
Q: How can you tell that an elephant has been in your fridge?
A: By the footprints in the butter.
Q: How do you get an elephant out of the water?
A: Wet.
Q: How do you get two elephants out of the water?
A: One by one.
Q: Why do elephants wear shoes with yellow soles?
A: So you don't see them when they float upside down in a bowl of custard.
Q: Have you ever seen an elephant floating upside down in a bowl of custard?
A: No, of course not. Must work then![<img src=]()
" SRC="images/smiles/icon_smile.gif">
Q: Why do elephants live in herds?
A: To get a wholesale reduction on the shoes with yellow soles.
Q: How do you smuggle an elephant across the border?
A: Put a slice of bread on each side, and call him "lunch".
Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun, of course.
Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
A: Ever seen a yellow elephant?!!!
Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?
A: Have you ever tried to iron one?
Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It was glued to the first one.
Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It thought it was a game.
Q: And why did the tree fall down?
A: It thought it was an elephant.
Q: How many legs does an elephant have?
A: Four, two in the front, two in the back.
Q: Why did the elephant cross the road?
A: Chicken's day off.
Q: What was the elephant doing on the motorway?
A: About 8kph.
Q: What do you call two elephants on a bicycle?
A: Optimistic!
Q: What do you get if you take an elephant into the city?
A: Free Parking.
Q: What do you get if you take an elephant into work?
A: Sole use of the elevator.
Q: How do you know if there is an elephant in the pub?
A: It's bike is outside.
Q: How do you know if there are two elephants in the pub?
A: There is a dent in the cross-bar.
Q: How do you know if there are three elephants in the pub?
A: Stand on the bike and have a look in the window.
Q: Why do elephants wear tiny green hats?
A: To sneak across a pool table without being seen.
Q: How many elephants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Don't be stupid, elephants can't change light bulbs.
Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale?
A: A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
Q: How do you know if there is an elephant under the bed?
A: Your nose is touching the ceiling.
Q: Why do elephants wear sandals?
A: So that they don't sink in the sand.
Q: Why do ostriches stick their head in the ground?
A: To look for the elephants who forgot to wear their sandals.
Q: How do you make a dead elephant float?
A: Well, you take 10 dead elephants, 10 tons of chocolate ice-cream, 5 tons of bananas,.....
Q: How do you get an elephant on top of an oak tree?
A: Stand him on an acorn and wait fifty years.
Q: What if you don't want to wait fifty years?
A: Parachute him from an airplane.
Q: Why isn't it safe to climb oak trees between 2 and 4 in the afternoon?
A: Because that is when the elephants practice their parachute jumping.
Q: Why do ducks have flat feet?
A: From stamping out forest fires.
Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
A: From stamping out flaming ducks.
Q: Why are elephants feet shaped that way?
A: To fit on lily pads.
Q: Why isn't it safe to go onto the lily pads between 4 and 6 in the afternoon?
A: That's when the elephants are walking on the lily pads.
Q: Why are frogs so short?
A: They go onto the lily pads between 4 and 6 in the afternoon.
Q: What do you know when you see three elephants walking down the street wearing pink sweatshirts?
A: They're all on the same team.
Q: How do you know if there's an elephant in bed?
A: He has a big 'E' on his pajamas jacket pocket.
Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A: Take away his credit card.
Q: Why do elephants have trunks?
A: Because they would look silly with glove compartments.
Q: What do you give a seasick elephant?
A: Lots of room.
Q: What has two tails, two trunks and five feet?
A: An elephant with spare parts
Q: What is more difficult than getting an elephant into the back seat of your car?
A: Getting TWO elephants into the back seat of your car!
Q: What happens when an elephant sits in front of you at the movies?
A: You miss most of the picture!
Q: What did the peanut say to the elephant?
A: Nothing, peanuts can't talk.
A: "Look, a herd of elephants in the distance"
Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses
A: Nothing. He doesn't recognize them.
Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of giraffes in the distance?
A: "Haha! You fooled me once with those disguises, but not this time!"
Q: What is the difference between en elephant and a plum?
A: An elephant is grey.
Q: What does Jane say when she sees a herd of elephants in the distance?
A: "Look! A herd of plums in the distance" (Jane is colour blind)
Q: How do you get four elephants into a Mini?
A: Two in the front, two in the back.
Q: What game do four elephants in a mini play?
A: Squash
Q: How do you get an elephant into the fridge?
1. Open door.
2. Insert elephant.
3. Close door.
Q: How do you get a giraffe into the fridge?
1. Open door.
2. Remove elephant.
3. Insert giraffe.
4. Close door.
Q: The lion, the king of the jungle, decided to have a party. He invited all the animals in the jungle, and they all came except one. Which one?
A: The giraffe, because he was still in the fridge.
Q: How do you know there are two elephants in your fridge?
A: The door won't close.
Q: How do you know there are three elephants in your fridge?
A: There'll be one waiting outside in the Mini.
Q: How can you tell that an elephant has been in your fridge?
A: By the footprints in the butter.
Q: How do you get an elephant out of the water?
A: Wet.
Q: How do you get two elephants out of the water?
A: One by one.
Q: Why do elephants wear shoes with yellow soles?
A: So you don't see them when they float upside down in a bowl of custard.
Q: Have you ever seen an elephant floating upside down in a bowl of custard?
A: No, of course not. Must work then
Q: Why do elephants live in herds?
A: To get a wholesale reduction on the shoes with yellow soles.
Q: How do you smuggle an elephant across the border?
A: Put a slice of bread on each side, and call him "lunch".
Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun, of course.
Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
A: Ever seen a yellow elephant?!!!
Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?
A: Have you ever tried to iron one?
Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It was glued to the first one.
Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It thought it was a game.
Q: And why did the tree fall down?
A: It thought it was an elephant.
Q: How many legs does an elephant have?
A: Four, two in the front, two in the back.
Q: Why did the elephant cross the road?
A: Chicken's day off.
Q: What was the elephant doing on the motorway?
A: About 8kph.
Q: What do you call two elephants on a bicycle?
A: Optimistic!
Q: What do you get if you take an elephant into the city?
A: Free Parking.
Q: What do you get if you take an elephant into work?
A: Sole use of the elevator.
Q: How do you know if there is an elephant in the pub?
A: It's bike is outside.
Q: How do you know if there are two elephants in the pub?
A: There is a dent in the cross-bar.
Q: How do you know if there are three elephants in the pub?
A: Stand on the bike and have a look in the window.
Q: Why do elephants wear tiny green hats?
A: To sneak across a pool table without being seen.
Q: How many elephants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Don't be stupid, elephants can't change light bulbs.
Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale?
A: A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
Q: How do you know if there is an elephant under the bed?
A: Your nose is touching the ceiling.
Q: Why do elephants wear sandals?
A: So that they don't sink in the sand.
Q: Why do ostriches stick their head in the ground?
A: To look for the elephants who forgot to wear their sandals.
Q: How do you make a dead elephant float?
A: Well, you take 10 dead elephants, 10 tons of chocolate ice-cream, 5 tons of bananas,.....
Q: How do you get an elephant on top of an oak tree?
A: Stand him on an acorn and wait fifty years.
Q: What if you don't want to wait fifty years?
A: Parachute him from an airplane.
Q: Why isn't it safe to climb oak trees between 2 and 4 in the afternoon?
A: Because that is when the elephants practice their parachute jumping.
Q: Why do ducks have flat feet?
A: From stamping out forest fires.
Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
A: From stamping out flaming ducks.
Q: Why are elephants feet shaped that way?
A: To fit on lily pads.
Q: Why isn't it safe to go onto the lily pads between 4 and 6 in the afternoon?
A: That's when the elephants are walking on the lily pads.
Q: Why are frogs so short?
A: They go onto the lily pads between 4 and 6 in the afternoon.
Q: What do you know when you see three elephants walking down the street wearing pink sweatshirts?
A: They're all on the same team.
Q: How do you know if there's an elephant in bed?
A: He has a big 'E' on his pajamas jacket pocket.
Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A: Take away his credit card.
Q: Why do elephants have trunks?
A: Because they would look silly with glove compartments.
Q: What do you give a seasick elephant?
A: Lots of room.
Q: What has two tails, two trunks and five feet?
A: An elephant with spare parts
Q: What is more difficult than getting an elephant into the back seat of your car?
A: Getting TWO elephants into the back seat of your car!
Q: What happens when an elephant sits in front of you at the movies?
A: You miss most of the picture!
Q: What did the peanut say to the elephant?
A: Nothing, peanuts can't talk.
Rumple
member
518 posts
72 snarkmarks
Registered: Aug 22nd 2001
Location: NSW, Australia
Occupation: Web Dev
<A HREF="http://rumple.biz" TARGET="_blank">SourDough2.0</A> - With Strawberry Jam
Re: Recently Laughed
Posted by French Toast on Wed Apr 25th at 3:18am 2007
French Toast
member
3043 posts
300 snarkmarks
Registered: Jan 16th 2005
Location: Canada
Occupation: Kicking Ass
Posted by French Toast on Wed Apr 25th at 3:18am 2007
Hah, I f**king died during that dude.
Good show, good show.
Good show, good show.
French Toast
member
3043 posts
300 snarkmarks
Registered: Jan 16th 2005
Location: Canada
Occupation: Kicking Ass
Re: Recently Laughed
Posted by Naklajat on Wed Jun 13th at 3:15am 2007
Naklajat
member
1137 posts
207 snarkmarks
Registered: Nov 15th 2004
Location: Austin, Texas
Occupation: Baron
Posted by Naklajat on Wed Jun 13th at 3:15am 2007
Naklajat
member
1137 posts
207 snarkmarks
Registered: Nov 15th 2004
Location: Austin, Texas
Occupation: Baron
=o
Re: Recently Laughed
Posted by mazemaster on Wed Jun 13th at 4:38am 2007
Posted by mazemaster on Wed Jun 13th at 4:38am 2007
Haha Rumple that was awesome.
Re: Recently Laughed
Posted by Riven on Wed Jun 13th at 5:03am 2007
Riven
super admin
1639 posts
802 snarkmarks
Registered: May 2nd 2005
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Occupation: Architect
Posted by Riven on Wed Jun 13th at 5:03am 2007
They should have done a follow-up story... lol, good one.
Riven
super admin
1639 posts
802 snarkmarks
Registered: May 2nd 2005
Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Occupation: Architect
Re: Recently Laughed
Posted by French Toast on Thu Jun 14th at 3:11am 2007
French Toast
member
3043 posts
300 snarkmarks
Registered: Jan 16th 2005
Location: Canada
Occupation: Kicking Ass
Posted by French Toast on Thu Jun 14th at 3:11am 2007
Hah Baron, I remember hearing about that... f**kin' hilarious.
French Toast
member
3043 posts
300 snarkmarks
Registered: Jan 16th 2005
Location: Canada
Occupation: Kicking Ass
Re: Recently Laughed
Posted by reaper47 on Thu Jun 14th at 6:08pm 2007
![<img src=]()
" SRC="images/smiles/icon_lol.gif"> @ Baron.
Posted by reaper47 on Thu Jun 14th at 6:08pm 2007
Re: Recently Laughed
Posted by Le Chief on Fri Jun 15th at 2:42pm 2007
Posted by Le Chief on Fri Jun 15th at 2:42pm 2007
@ Baron, 
at the lady!!!
edit: No sorry, w-i-t-h baron.
Re: Recently Laughed
Posted by Andrei on Fri Jun 15th at 5:04pm 2007
Posted by Andrei on Fri Jun 15th at 5:04pm 2007
I think I want to rape and kill her.
Edit: hmm judging by the picture i'd settle with just killing her, or possibly killing her twice. ah, the possibilities!
Edit: hmm judging by the picture i'd settle with just killing her, or possibly killing her twice. ah, the possibilities!
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