mom's joke # twenty something something....
Post Reply
Quote
Re: mom's joke # twenty something something....
Posted by Dr Brasso on Sat Mar 11th at 3:36pm 2006


Mom thinks about me sometimes in other funny, yet subtle mom-like ways...im still her baby... <img src=" SRC="images/smiles/icon_lol.gif">

U.S. Marines are always taught:

1) Keep your priorities in order; and
2) Know when to act without hesitation.
A U.S. Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan

One of the courses had a professor who was an a vowed atheist and a member of the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU)
One day he shocked the class when he came in, looked to the ceiling, and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes."
The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop.
Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'm still waiting."
It got down to the last couple of minutes when the MARINE got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-c**ked him; knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold.
The MARINE went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence.
The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the MARINE and asked, "What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"
The MARINE calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting America's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid s**t and act like an ass. So he sent me!"
Doc B...:dodgy:




Quote
Re: mom's joke # twenty something something....
Posted by French Toast on Sat Mar 11th at 4:14pm 2006


Not quite as funny as the others... and no mention of moms...




Quote
Re: mom's joke # twenty something something....
Posted by parakeet on Sat Mar 11th at 4:25pm 2006


it's his mothers joke , and i liked it.. <img src=" SRC="images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif">

thx brass :P made my gray saturday



.else /me ~kill you
www.arclan.net



Quote
Re: mom's joke # twenty something something....
Posted by Dark_Kilauea on Sat Mar 11th at 6:14pm 2006


Nice, I liked this one <img src=" SRC="images/smiles/icon_smile.gif">


Dark_Kilauea
DVS Administration
http://www.dvstudio-production.com/



Quote
Re: mom's joke # twenty something something....
Posted by Gwil on Sat Mar 11th at 7:15pm 2006


Urrrhhhh..... ok..




Quote
Re: mom's joke # twenty something something....
Posted by Orpheus on Sat Mar 11th at 8:52pm 2006


/me liked. Was predictable, but nice anywho's. <img src=" SRC="images/smiles/icon_smile.gif">



The best things in life, aren't things.



Quote
Re: mom's joke # twenty something something....
Posted by Dr Brasso on Sun Mar 12th at 12:13am 2006


ok, wasnt her best, but come on now gwilly.... even yer dry ass shoulda liked this one just a bit....<img src=" SRC="images/smiles/heee.gif">

Doc B...





Quote
Re: mom's joke # twenty something something....
Posted by Nickelplate on Sun Mar 12th at 1:53am 2006


Gwilly has a dry ass!
Gwilly has a dry ass!

I liked it. The joke not the dry ass.




I tried sniffing coke, but the ice cubes kept getting stuck in my nose.
http://www.dimebowl.com



Quote
Re: mom's joke # twenty something something....
Posted by omegaslayer on Sun Mar 12th at 1:57am 2006


I liked it, very patriotical.






Quote
Re: mom's joke # twenty something something....
Posted by Nickelplate on Sun Mar 12th at 2:01am 2006


WOOOOO!! AMERICA!!!! YEAH!

I like america.




I tried sniffing coke, but the ice cubes kept getting stuck in my nose.
http://www.dimebowl.com



Quote
Re: mom's joke # twenty something something....
Posted by French Toast on Sun Mar 12th at 5:22am 2006


Yeah, that's what wasn't so great about it. It was like America f**k Yeah. I could start a big debate about God and whether or not your troops are defending s**t, but... I won't <img src=" SRC="images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif">




Quote
Re: mom's joke # twenty something something....
Posted by Dr Brasso on Sun Mar 12th at 5:37am 2006


aw come on frenchy...i certainly didnt mean it as a political pop of any sort man....i'd think any canadian, french, british, or whoever should be proud of their country, and enough so to do the same thing if this prof was slamming you and yours, or theirs.....so chill dude....eh??

be happy....its a "stab at the man"....

Doc....

..........oh yeah, and it was a joke from an old lady for christs sake...lighten up dude





Quote
Re: mom's joke # twenty something something....
Posted by Dr Brasso on Sun Mar 26th at 5:13am 2006


new one... (at least to me it was... <img src=" SRC="images/smiles/icon_lol.gif"> )

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their
new wives duties.

The first man had married a woman from Alabama. He bragged that he had
told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed to be done at their house. He said it took a couple of days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.

The second man had married a woman from Florida. He bragged that he had
given his wife orders that she was going to do all the cleaning, dishes
and the cooking. He told them the first day he didn't see any results,
but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the
dishes were done and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a Nebraska girl. He boasted that he told her
that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed,
laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the
first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything,
but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a
little out of his left eye, enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the
dishwasher and telephone a landscaper.

:dodgy:





Quote
Re: mom's joke # twenty something something....
Posted by FatStrings on Sun Mar 26th at 5:57am 2006


nice



Quote
Re: mom's joke # twenty something something....
Posted by French Toast on Sun Mar 26th at 6:39am 2006


Is there any point to her being from Nebraska?




Quote
Re: mom's joke # twenty something something....
Posted by Andrei on Sun Mar 26th at 9:53am 2006


Hehe, nice. The regions probably mean something most people who aren't American wouldn't know about...so the joke was probably incomplete for me. But it was still funny .




Quote
Re: mom's joke # twenty something something....
Posted by Orpheus on Sun Mar 26th at 12:58pm 2006


Nebraska is Doc's home State. The joke needed an origin, he chose his.

Substitute any home you wish but the joke is still funny as hell. <img src=" SRC="images/smiles/icon_lol.gif">





The best things in life, aren't things.



Quote
Re: mom's joke # twenty something something....
Posted by Dr Brasso on Sun Mar 26th at 1:11pm 2006


pardon me, but if you have something on yer tiny little f**king mind there frenchy, grow some balls, and state yer f**king case, you no-mind little baked good.....keep bangin', im up for it..... <img src=" SRC="images/smiles/icon_wink.gif"> bah....isnt worth the time.....i try to put a smile on a few faces, and thats the result.....interesting.

Doc B...:dodgy:





Quote
Re: mom's joke # twenty something something....
Posted by Orpheus on Sun Mar 26th at 1:18pm 2006


? quoting Dr Brasso
pardon me, but if you have something on yer tiny little f**king mind there frenchy, grow some balls, and state yer f**king case, you no-mind little baked good.....keep bangin', im up for it..... bah....isnt worth the time.....i try to put a smile on a few faces, and thats the result.....interesting.

Doc B...

Hey Doc. Did you hear the one about the kid from Ontario who's mom made him wear funny clothes? He was so scarred that he opted for a breakfast food for an online handle.

/runs giggling maniacally





The best things in life, aren't things.



Quote
Re: mom's joke # twenty something something....
Posted by French Toast on Sun Mar 26th at 3:12pm 2006


? quote:
pardon me, but if you have something on yer tiny little f**king mind there frenchy, grow some balls, and state yer f**king case, you no-mind little baked good.....keep bangin', im up for it..... bah....isnt worth the time.....i try to put a smile on a few faces, and thats the result.....interesting.

Doc B...



Woah, holy s**t, where did that come from? I was just wondering if there was something particular to that region that woulda made the joke funnier to Americans. I never said I didn't enjoy it.





Post Reply