Leper Jokes!

I was bored and decided to post some jokes dedicated to leperous! :biggrin:

Q. Why did the leper fail his driving test?
A. Left his foot on the clutch.

Q. Did you hear about the leper poker game?
A. One guy threw in his hand and the other three laughed their heads off.

Q. What did the Leper say to the Prostitute?
A. You can keep the tip.

Q. What do you call a leper on the roof top?
A. Gone with the wind!

Q: How can you tell if a valentine is from a leper?
A. The tongue's still in the envelope.

Q. What do you call a leper in a whirlpool?
A. Stew.

A leper goes into a Mexican restaurant and says: "I'll have a taco combination plate -- and you'd better make it to go."
The waitress, realizing that the leper is embarrassed by his appearance, says compassionately: "Sir, you're very welcome here. Why don't you sit down and eat here?"
So the leper sits down and when his food comes and he begins to eat, a piece of his earlobe falls into his plate. He hears guests gagging and says to the waitress: "look, I think you'd better just box this food up so I can eat it at home."
"Nonsense," says the waitress. "I won't hear of it."
So he takes a few more bites, and a piece of his nose falls off. More gagging from the patrons. "Look," he says, "I'm making people gag. Please, just box this up for me."
"Sir," says the waitress, "it's not you who's making these people gag. The lady behind you has been dipping tortilla chips in the back of your neck!"

A man was walking through the desert and had not eaten for days. He came across a church, went in, knelt at the alter and prayed, "Good God, give me some food!"
As if by magic a lump of meat dropped at his feet. Overjoyed he ate the food. He came back every day with the same request, and everyday he was rewarded until one day a hand dropped at his feet.
Puzzled he looked up... There was a leper painting the ceiling.

A leper goes into a Mexican restaurant and says: "I'll have a taco combination plate -- and you'd better make it to go."
The waitress, realizing that the leper is embarrassed by his appearance, says compassionately: "Sir, you're very welcome here. Why don't you sit down and eat here?"
So the leper sits down and when his food comes and he begins to eat, a piece of his earlobe falls into his plate. He hears guests gagging and says to the waitress: "look, I think you'd better just box this food up so I can eat it at home."
"Nonsense," says the waitress. "I won't hear of it."
So he takes a few more bites, and a piece of his nose falls off. More gagging from the patrons. "Look," he says, "I'm making people gag. Please, just box this up for me."
"Sir," says the waitress, "it's not you who's making these people gag. The lady behind you has been dipping tortilla chips in the back of your neck!"

Dude, that's just gross lol.

Pretty good there diablo, how about these too:

Q: Why did the leper cross the road?
A: To get to his right side.

Q: Why was the leper depressd after he broke up?
A: He wore his heart on his sleeve.

Q: How many lepers does it take to put in a lightbulb?
A: Hovever many kept their arms.

Fine, they might not be funny, but look at this nice gold text :biggrin:

Dont know any Leper jokes... cept from the Simpsons:

"Oh, seems I've lost a fingernail in your drink. Oh well, thats leprosy for you."

I iz leppah! phear me!

Diablo, those were genius.

Q. What did the Leper say to the Prostitute?
A. You can keep the tip.

WRONG

That prostitute one is old... heard it before multiple times. Still good tho.

What did Cassius say to the Skeletor?

"PWND"

Nywahaha, some good new ones in there :biggrin:

Many of them are old to me :sad: