dm_contagion

dm_contagion

Re: dm_contagion Posted by pig Popper on Sat Dec 29th 2007 at 9:55pm
pig Popper
23 posts
Posted 2007-12-29 9:55pm
23 posts 957 snarkmarks Registered: Apr 23rd 2007 Occupation: Pig Fancier Location: UK
A small map that is almost complete, (playable on here 217.163.30.215:270)

I would appreciate some feedback on layout or ideas around detailing.

Ta Pig Popper
http://aworkingpig.org
Re: dm_contagion Posted by Riven on Sun Dec 30th 2007 at 7:32am
Riven
1640 posts
Posted 2007-12-30 7:32am
Riven
Wuch ya look'n at?
super admin
1640 posts 1266 snarkmarks Registered: May 2nd 2005 Occupation: Architect Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Let me start by saying first: I think this map actually has some potential.

I realize you have some kind of theme going here, but I'm still not totally sure what it is even though you explain it in the description,... but I like it! I also realize that this map is only 80% done, and you're still working on it.

(NOTE: I hope you can take some criticism, because I have some nasty things to say, but I think they will help in the long run)

With that said, this map can go a long way IMO, it just needs some fine tuning. Let's say I'm a HL2DM player who stumbled upon your DM server and downloaded this map with no previous assessments about it. I would have no idea it was located in the middle of a desert. But you would have me believe so by looking out of this window:

User posted image

I think not! Can anyone else tell me what the first thing that comes to their mind when they look at this picture? I assure you it probably wouldn't be anything desert-related. Point is: make your setting horribly obvious. While I can see where your coming from, those ziggurat-like structures just don't cut it. For all I know I could be on an alien planet or in a prison compound. Let's move on...

<DIV class=quote>
<DIV class=quotetitle>? quoting pig Popper</DIV>
<DIV class=quotetext>"[The layout] basically consists of 9 squares and dividing walls seperaing the play area." </DIV></DIV>

Let me point out that that idea about level design is bad. "hmm, let me make some spaces and figure out what to fill them with!" No! Please don't do that; instead, let's think about how each space works with one another. Let's say you started building the map with that laboratory space with the purple lights:

User posted image

(the one that stands out like an eyesore). What is its purpose? Why is there purple lights? You wanna talk about gameplay? Well here's one for ya: The purple lights are supposed to attract players to the location; yes? Well why attract them when there's nothing there. I mean, I'm suggesting you get rid of the purple lights either way, but if you're gonna make an area stand out from the rest, then it should carry some reward for players going out of their way to explore it. For which here, there is nothing. Just a nice little view into a laboratory. (The laboratory BTW, is ok, and I'm assuming you were going to use the chance to post a picture of your website on the monitor? Either way, the lab is just an empty space with a bunch of models from HL2 stuck in it. It's blately obvious. I suggest you take the time to add some interesting architecture around the ceiling part, otherwise, it will remain a boring room and a waste of time for player's to poke their head in the window [cause we've all seen those models before, so you're not really impressing anyone here.] Give the player a good reason to look through that window or just take it out altogether. I think it would be interesting to see some cool moving parts to a neat machine. How about a pump that was clearly broken while trying to pump out the toxic gasses?) Back to the purple room. Why is it there? Why is that window boarded up? (is that a window? Because there is not a matching hole on the other side of the wall.)

I will say that the map is quite boring. Other than the various buttons to press, this map doesn't offer much. I believe it is most exemplified here (the purple room), in this room, which you used as your second picture in your map description. It is just an empty box filled with props and brush built tables meaning to resemble props, which won't fix it. You need some kind of scene in here, or otherwise some interesting architecture. I must sound like a broken record by now, but I really do believe this is what your map needs the most. A-matter-of-fact, The only things that I really like about this map, are A.) Your idea for a setting, and B.) this picture:

User posted image

Which is why I bothered downloading it. I must admit, that after experiencing that area and then checking out the others, I was sorely disappointed. But I don't think all is lost, because you do have experience on your side, and I've seen your other works, but this map has potential to become your best (released) work yet. I think it needs more detail. And I'm not talking about with models; I mean for more cool architecture like that room in my last picture. I understand that you probably have gameplay as your top priority, but let's think about setting a little bit more.

Setting is easier to work with in multiplayer maps because things are normally static. There aren't npc's to fool with and there's not a living world within the confines of the arena, so it's ok to have abandoned city blocks and empty living quarters. It's all explained through the setting. But here we have an active setting as I like to call it. You have the gas currently occupying areas of the facility which are obvious to view. (+ 1 in my book) This creates suspense, and I think you can use it to your advantage. Look for areas to cut off temporarily. I understand this is a small map, but It wouldn't hurt to expand it a little. Let's see areas that explain a little about what kind of secret the base is holding. Explain why there is toxic gas in the first place. (do headcrabs produce a toxic gas in their fart?!? I dunno, explain it!) This is what will denote you as an excelled mapper. You've come a long way, now explore it a little bit more. Open the door to level design. You must meld gameplay and setting together. So like I said in the beginning: think of it more than just "walls separating the play area." You have a lot to work with here. Give those walls purpose!

Sorry, I'm rambling here, I got to get to bed. I wish you the best of luck

Oh! and by the way, here is a zip file with some reference pictures that I think will help you. They're from the collection I've made over the years from searching online and from my camera. Hope it helps with making ideas about architecture for some areas.

-Riven
Blog: www.playingarchitecture.net
LinkedIn: Eric Lancon
Twitter:@Riven202
Re: dm_contagion Posted by pig Popper on Sun Dec 30th 2007 at 10:53am
pig Popper
23 posts
Posted 2007-12-30 10:53am
23 posts 957 snarkmarks Registered: Apr 23rd 2007 Occupation: Pig Fancier Location: UK
wow, thanks so much for your input it was more than id hoped for. You have really hit on some important ideas and i like the sensibility you are trying to encourage in me, i must admit i was looking for an excuse to tie this map up and release it but after your thoughtful critisim I will take a fresh look at this and put some time aside to complete it. thanks again.. and for the pics :biggrin:
http://aworkingpig.org
Re: dm_contagion Posted by Riven on Mon Dec 31st 2007 at 5:58am
Riven
1640 posts
Posted 2007-12-31 5:58am
Riven
Wuch ya look'n at?
super admin
1640 posts 1266 snarkmarks Registered: May 2nd 2005 Occupation: Architect Location: Austin, Texas, USA
Well, I'm glad you appreciated my post; I really would like to see this map get reorganized and polished up. It would be good for the community to see one of those "rags to riches" type scenarios. (Not to say your map is ratty, but rather to say how much better it could turn out!) And I think if you take the time to really flesh out this map, you of all will benefit the most. We may see a new regular here at the pit if all goes well. So assuming you agree with that, I presume you'll be keeping us updated on the map's progress?

There is a lot more to be said here about this map, but I assume you'll find a lot of the quick errors first off, so I won't waste my time pointing them out to begin with. I'm sure once you update us all with an alpha version and pictures, you'll see more feedback from other people.
Blog: www.playingarchitecture.net
LinkedIn: Eric Lancon
Twitter:@Riven202