I gave your map a runaround and I don't think the theme is as ambiguous
as the screenshots may suggest. It definitely felt like a dirty,
stench-ridden, waste processing plant from the moment I spawned.
Some of the architecture was nice (the central room and the fan room
come to mind) and while it seems fairly simple in the screenshots, its
not too dark nor too boring. It's just not flashy and sunny like
a map like dm_island. I think you did a good job with it, and I
hope to be able to play it sometime to see how the gameplay holds up...
there seemed to be a lot of potential for vertical combat.

I disagree. Maps have to have definite themes, and communicate that
(visually) to the player. For something to be surrealistic, it needs
something realistic to compare it to. The Citadel looks strange only
because it is compared to the rest of City 17. If it was a Citadel on,
say, a barren alien planet, then it would obviously have a very
different effect than in City 17. I feel that some degree of realism is needed as a "control" for surrealism.

Imagine you're trying to pitch the theme of your level to someone in a
single sentence. How would you pitch this map's theme? It's vague,
ambiguous, and ultimately uninteresting as a result. I'm not saying it
has to be a realistic place, it just has to be a specific place.

Sorry if I'm a bit blunt, but here's my appraisal:

Way too dark for multiplayer and kind of boring (visually). I suggest
finding a real, definitive theme that anyone can look at and say "Wow,
that definitely looks like a ____ !" As of now, it just looks like a
fog-filled concrete bunker. Why is there fog there in the first place?

Emphasis on gameplay is great and everything, but it is all ultimately
useless if it isn't visually interesting enough to engage the player!
Visuals have a lot to do with gameplay - people respond to lighting
cues (red maintenance lights for vents in Natural Selection, for
example) and architectural cues, and need strong definitive visual
landmarks to navigate a map easily.

Looks like you have a good grasp of the editor, now you just need to branch out more!

I appreicate you taking the time to comment.

First the fog is coming off the slime...to give it a chemical
nastiness. Secondly, I've never believed in making maps that are
definite pieces of architecture -- I like to let the player use their
imagination instead of sucking at the teat of obviousness. I'm not a
big fan of emphasis on realism in recent games, and I think HL2 was a
good platform to map for, because the game did an excellent job of
blending real with surreal, and I sort of hoped to do that with this
map instead of making dm_WALMART or whatever.

Sorry if I'm a bit blunt, but here's my appraisal:

Way too dark for multiplayer and kind of boring (visually). I suggest
finding a real, definitive theme that anyone can look at and say "Wow,
that definitely looks like a ____ !" As of now, it just looks like a
fog-filled concrete bunker. Why is there fog there in the first place?

Emphasis on gameplay is great and everything, but it is all ultimately
useless if it isn't visually interesting enough to engage the player!
Visuals have a lot to do with gameplay - people respond to lighting
cues (red maintenance lights for vents in Natural Selection, for
example) and architectural cues, and need strong definitive visual
landmarks to navigate a map easily.

Looks like you have a good grasp of the editor, now you just need to branch out more!

Hey everybody, here is my latest mapping effort for you all to enjoy.

dm_ortho was named boringly enough for the orthographical windows in
any map editor, but ended up taking a painfully ironic meaning, as I
went to the ER at 4 in the morning for extreme dental pain a few weeks
ago.

screenshots

http://blitz.circa1984.com/dm_ortho_b10000.jpg

http://blitz.circa1984.com/dm_ortho_b20001.jpg

http://blitz.circa1984.com/dm_ortho_b20002.jpg

download

http://blitz.circa1984.com/dm_ortho.zip

to give you an idea of what i think, i thought it was hl1 for a sec. everything in it is so boring and flat.

Beta 2 is out now...should be very close to done.

Beta is out! Comments and public server hosting are welcome!!

I critique maps, but the author contacts me personally via the PM system here at Snarkpit. I figure, if the author wants me, he knows where i live. I got past that soliciting my wares ages ago, I do not send email request anymore.

Another tried and true method is to post a link and allow anyone interested to critique it with no strings attached. You tend to get much better feedback than you would otherwise. Open critiques in the forums are always preferable. You never know if a private one is honest unless others see the same mistakes/perks.

/2 cents

Bumping for renewed interest and nearing completion. Anyone interested
in beta testing leave me an e-mail at lolleyballz@gmail.com