i needed a laugh... :)

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>that farmer said?" </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy s**t! A </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>talking chicken!'" </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes. </DIV>
<DIV>=====================================</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>five, that son of a bitch is seven. </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...." </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>"Yes," he answered. </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>teaching my son in math?" </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>of a bitch is four?" </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four." </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>==========================================</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake. </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>Twinkie." </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too." </DIV>
<DIV>===========================================</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>dead. </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>"How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil. </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>innocently. </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>"You did WHAT?!?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>You know,"explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it </DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV>didn't move." </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>=======================================</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>Doc Brass... :dodgy: </DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV>

tries lame attempt at jocularity

"WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?"

"because it heard the c**k of the walk was on that side"

crowd groans

*still giggling profusley over..."and I'm gonna get boobs too"

I laughed, but now I feel guilty about it... the whole hair on the twinkie thing with a little girl.

Chicken little one was genius.

bloody good I like the chicked one and the maths one the most.

Them to are just class

Thats well quality, like the one about the twinkie! :dodgy:

...quite funny... liked the one "and I'm gonna get boobs too" the most...