Official Return of the King Thread

So I saw this movie last night, and it was AWESOME. Great conversion of the books, though this movie was probably the least faithful of the three (not to say that it wasn't damn close!) What a great series. I wonder what Peter Jackson is up to next...?

Yeah, was an awsome movie. Saw it last wensday :smile:

Saw it thursday night, Best film ive ever seen.

***SPOILERS***

Durning the charge of pelanor i was just holding onto the arm rests because i could feel myself shaking abit. So many scenes like that which were insanely moving. One that really sticks out is faramir going through the streets of minas tirth and then his charge.

A bunch of tear jerkers in there as well particulary when Aragorn gets everyone to bow to the hobbits and when Frodo goes away right at the end.

Absolutely amazing. Best. film. ever.

Too be honest, there was far too little of Boromir. He had what, one second in a three hour movie? I know he died all the way back in the Fellowship, but he was the coolest, damnit!

Seriously, the movie rocked.

In the two towers extended edition theres this whole thing about boromir and faramir.

I didn't exactly see it under normal circumstances, in that the particular showing I saw had an amazingly hilarious audience. Whenever Legolas came on, all the girls in the audience started cheering and yelling phrases akin to 'HAVE MY BABIES!' at him; and when the one-eyed pink Orc general came on, the men all started wolf-whistling and yelling 'WHAT'S UP HONEY?' This pattern was repeated basically throughout the movie whenever we saw something particularly gruesome, ie Liv Tyler (JUST KIDDING!)

There were so many endings that the audience was reduced to giggling EVERY SINGLE TIME they faded to black, only to give us another ending; thus, everyone just started laughing whenever Jackson threw us conclusion after conclusion, and a lot of people walked out. The scene with Frodo waking up in Rivendell is absolutely hilarious; I was beginning to think that the entire goddamn cast was going to walk in (picture the Witch King joyously jumping onto Frodo's bed). And what's worse, the endings all meant so little. A proper way to do it would be to simply show a short ending sequence for all the living members of the Fellowship, not spending half an hour on Frodo - by the end, nobody liked him anyway.

When you end up seeing so much of Middle Earth in one movie, it strikes you at what a small scale that entire world is, and it becomes very hard to take it seriously. The special effects and graphic enhancements also contributed to making the whole thing seem like a joke, half as serious as even the Two Towers. It's no less spectacular, but much more gratuitous - the Gollum sequence was so horrendously overblown in color and dialogue that it's hard not to laugh, even at something that gruesome. When Pippin (or Merry, I don't remember) is climbing the huge-ass tower above Minas Tirith to light the beacons, giving a great view of a several-thousand foot drop, it just looks absolutely ridiculous. Spectacular, but ridiculous.

The script was clearly on a drive to force the viewers to gorge on the huge emotions being thrown around and the fantastic visuals, but it becomes so hard to keep a straight face. Denethor getting smacked around with a cane by Gandalf warranted about five solid minutes of cheering, but it was still stupid.

Frodo hanging over the crack of Doom, all the Frodo-Sam brotherhood crap, Gollum's sucking-up, etc., were embarassing. I don't know if they're in the book, and I honestly don't give a damn, because that was just so stupid. Especially when Frodo takes a boat to Valinor in the end, leaving the Shire behind after talking about it for three movies straight, nobody thinks of Frodo as a hero anymore; in fact, he's more of a coward who got carried along his quest, kicking and screaming the whole time.

Mordor's destruction was equally overblown: the giant Earthquake coming out of nowhere and wiping out all the Orcs in the space of ten seconds was lame, of course. Barad-Dur didn't make a huge explosion, or make the same kickass effect that they used on Minas Morgul, it just popped.

I think the hugest reason as to why it's hard to treat the events of this movie like they're anything important is that the 'bad guys' are pushovers. Er-Murazor (Terrible voice, dies so easily), Denethor (Completely overwritten by Gandalf), the Orc General (sidestepping the catapult was cool, but this is not The Lord of the Rings: Revolutions), even the goddamn Eye of Sauron, are all pushed down to a level of comedic relief (I mean, look at the eye: panicked and hugely expressive, with a goddamn searchlight coming from it, when we've only seen it stand perfectly still before) . The 'brave' warriors of Gondor look absolutely ridiculous when the army of the dead sweeps in and takes out the entire army of Mordor in under three minutes, the same as when their pathetic numbers attack to retake Osgiliath, and obviously get owned.

I don't even think I need to say anything about Sam's ending (the last one), Frodo going to Valinor, Aragorn singing on Minas Tirith, or Elrond popping out of a corner of Theoden's tent in a black cloak; they were ridiculous enough in their own right.

So anyway, yeah. It was an amazing movie, no doubt, but it doesn't take itself seriously.

[EDIT] Holy s**t, I wrote that much? I must really be bored.[/EDIT]

oh, believe me, I am well aware of it. I've seen the extended versions a few too many times for it to be considered healthy.

That was a kick a** movie. I honestly think it was better than the other 2. Did people clap in your guys movie theaters? That was annoying.

Sorry Cassius, but I'm going to have to disagree with just about everything you said except that it is an awesome movie. If you bring in outside expectations of what a movie "should be" and what is "realistic" then of course you won't understand the full effect of the movie and only like it for the effects and sequences. FFS, its not like orcs and oliphants and wizards are real in the first place, so suspend your disbelif for a while. Its worth it.<!-- Kerio Popup Killer - script has been appended by KPF -->

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It's not out in Australia till the 26th :sad:

To be fair, I think you should call the third movie the most serious, since there was a definite lack of dwarf jokes throughout.

Cassius read the book, Gollum does not suck up, but Sarumon's hold over him for the ring does the sucking up (Main reason Gollum says "We" not "I"). Frodo leaves because he fears the Shire and the rest of middle Earth.

mazemaster said:
Sorry Cassius, but I'm going to have to disagree with just about everything you said except that it is an awesome movie. If you bring in outside expectations of what a movie "should be" and what is "realistic" then of course you won't understand the full effect of the movie and only like it for the effects and sequences. FFS, its not like orcs and oliphants and wizards are real in the first place, so suspend your disbelif for a while. Its worth it.<!-- Kerio Popup Killer - script has been appended by KPF --> <!-- Kerio Popup Killer - end of the script appended by KPF-->

Like I said, I don't care about the book - my main point was that the movie barely takes itself seriously, which is absolutely true. The 'evil side' is a pushover, the 'good side' is a joke, the graphics are overblown - it's no less a spectacular movie, and I would never call it anything below extremely good, but it still has it's faults; and being pessimistic by nature, that is what I wrote about. So sue me.

Cassius said:

mazemaster said:
Sorry Cassius, but I'm going to have to disagree with just about everything you said except that it is an awesome movie. If you bring in outside expectations of what a movie "should be" and what is "realistic" then of course you won't understand the full effect of the movie and only like it for the effects and sequences. FFS, its not like orcs and oliphants and wizards are real in the first place, so suspend your disbelif for a while. Its worth it.<!-- Kerio Popup Killer - script has been appended by KPF --> <!-- Kerio Popup Killer - end of the script appended by KPF-->

Like I said, I don't care about the book - my main point was that the movie barely takes itself seriously, which is absolutely true. The 'evil side' is a pushover, the 'good side' is a joke, the graphics are overblown - it's no less a spectacular movie, and I would never call it anything below extremely good, but it still has it's faults; and being pessimistic by nature, that is what I wrote about. So sue me.

Wait a sec while I get Jackson and my Lawyer Gerados on the phone, I'll sue you then! :razz:

Do they show in the film that Gandalf is actually an elf?

Not in words, But now you say it I guess he is because of the ending. Wouldnt wanna spoil it for anyone who hasnt seen it though.

KoRnFlakes said:
Not in words, But now you say it I guess he is because of the ending. Wouldnt wanna spoil it for anyone who hasnt seen it though.

Hobbits leave at the ending too. Not all Elves leave, do research on Valinor to find out why they left (except for the fact Tolkien was working on a 4th book to continue after this Trilogy, before he copped it)

Can't wait to see it myself.

thursday- said:
Not all Elves leave, do research on Valinor to find out why they left (except for the fact Tolkien was working on a 4th book to continue after this Trilogy, before he copped it)

Don't forget Lady Arwen (was that her name?) She stuck around. I guess she also died, though that's some time in the future.

Yeah she conks it in lorien some time after Aragorn dies. She chills in Rivendell for a while with the sons of Elrond first before she lets herself go in an emtpy lorien. :sad:

Or something along those lines. They all bugger off there eventually or just die. Which is pretty much all they can do so fear my sweeping generilastion.

Mr.Ben said:
Yeah she conks it in lorien some time after Aragorn dies. She chills in Rivendell for a while with the sons of Elrond first before she lets herself go in an emtpy lorien. :sad:

Or something along those lines. They all bugger off there eventually or just die. Which is pretty much all they can do so fear my sweeping generilastion.

Wouldn't Aragorn die before her? Also, with that Elven pendant thing she gave Aragorn, when he dies she would have it back, making her 'immortal' again in the current physical state she is in. So when you think about it, Arwen would eventually leave ...

Yeah of course she dies after Aragorn but she doesn't leave, she dies in lorien :smile: Read the appendix my good man and all will become clear about what happens to everyone.

Quenta Silmarillion is most definately the best piece of writing in the LOTR world. I would sell my soul to have Peter Jackson just film one scene with Fingolfin fighting Melkor; think of the sheer awesomeness.

Cassius said:
Quenta Silmarillion is most definately the best piece of writing in the LOTR world. I would sell my soul to have Peter Jackson just film one scene with Fingolfin fighting Melkor; think of the sheer awesomeness.

It couldn't possibly take itself seriously though, so what's the point Cass? :wink:

I'm laughing, trust me. </bad mood>

I saw it and was particularly impressed, although I don't know if it was the best of the 3 or not. The charge of the Rohan on the Pelenor Fields was incredible - the most impressive battle scene I've ever seen. As Ben said, the scene where Aragorn tells the Hobbits they bow to no one brought a little tear to my eye, which films rarely if ever do, and that is despite me knowing it was coming!

On the downside, Legolas mounting the Oliphaunt was a little cheesy and fake looking I thought, but I guess they had to have some OTT thing for him to do to keep up with the shield surfing in the second film. The "That still only counts as one!" line by Gimli afterwards made it all ok though :biggrin:

No "Scarring of the Shire" was a big disappointment, even though I knew a long while back it was dropped.

I was kinda annoyed that Beregond, the guy who really saved Faramir, was dropped from the film, but since the entire Minas Tirith section of the book was summed up very briefly in the film I guess thats ALL he could have done, and its not worth introducing a new character for that alone.

Another bit that woulda been nice to see was the whole love bit between Eowyn and Faramir in the hospital type place, but again, time constraints obviously meant that was impossible. I think its kinda important for those characters as it gives them a happy ending after their sad storylines, but I guess Eowyn and Faramir are much less important in the film than they are in the book.

The houses of healing makes a guest appearance in the extended DVD actually.

The one thing i didn't like about all of the films was the lack of Gimili kicking ass. In the books you hear him talking about how he hewed a couple of orc heads off and how one notched his colour and how he's a particulary hardcore drawf but you don't really see any of it in the film. Nearly all of the charecters have a small scene where it's just them and they're just kicking booty but Gimili just turns up on screen and just says 28 and your like wow thats great but how about you show us kicking ass? One scene, just him and 3 orcs and he swings taking off all their heads would make the films perfect :biggrin:

Shame we didn't find out more about what happened to Isenguard (probably spelt wrong) and the betrayor of light :sad:

He gets his just deserts in the extended edition too.

It's Christmas Eve, so I give you my wishlist for a (obviously figurative) Return of the King redo:

- The With King is a badass. Give him a better voice, and let him kill Eowyn; she's got nothing on him.

- Barad-Dur should make a massive explosion that caves in every square inch of Mordor. I don't know wether or not Frodo or Sam should survive; it would probably be worth it to cut off all those goddamn endings.

- Eye of Sauron should not move. Ever. And no searchlights. Plus, get a little Mouth of Sauron in there, at least; he's a badass as well.

- Minas Morgul shooting that huge ass beam into the sky made my balls shrink, it was that awesome. Repeat that like 50 times throughout the movie.

- Kill Gollum early on, FFS, nobody liked or cared about the little bastard, especially when he was trying to betray Frodo.

- The one ending scene should be Frodo waking up in Rivendell, because that was absolutely hilarious. The only other endings should the Scourging of the Shire and maybe something at Minas Tirith, but for god's sake, don't let Aragorn sing in the end.

- No Faramir. Only Imrahil. Certainly no crying Faramirs saying, "OH FATHER YOU DON'T LOVE ME SO I'LL GO DIE. PLEASE THINK BETTER OF ME."

- Just let Gimli kill something without necessarily having to joke about it. The movie pretty much f**ked over whatever significance he had gained in the first one. WOW, HE'S SHORT. WOW, HE KILLS THINGS. WILL THE COMEDY GOLDMINE EVER RUN DRY? I THINK NOT!

- Since the Witch King will still be alive, he needs to have a one on one duel with Sauron's physical form, nevermind the fact that both of them should be dead. Should he die there, it will be at the hands of an equal badass; thus, it would be acceptable. Just have Merry play no part in his death.

- Scourging of the Shire isn't really necessary; just play a scene of Saruman getting owned by Wormtongue with little to no explanation.

- Once again, Fingolfin v. Morgoth.

Yes prince Imrahil and the knights of dol amaroth should have appeared without a doubt.

Glorfindel should also turn up, as should the sons of Elrond and the rangers. Clearly they're all incredibly hardcore.

No searchlight, totally agree with cassius. I thought it was just well... wrong.

Better voice for the witch king as cassius said. He sounded like a cheap darth vadar. :/

More gimili action as i said earliar.

I haven't seen Return of the King yet... :sad:

Hornpipe2 said:
I wonder what Peter Jackson is up to next...?

Maybe he's making BAD TASTE 2 or something...

... I expect to see a movie of "The Hobbit" soon ...

saw it last night, and I'll just say this: I have never. EVER been to watch a movie where everyone in the tightly packed screen room CHEERED when "The End" showed up.

It's a classic in almost every sense. Best of 2003? Indeed.

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<TD style="FONT-SIZE: 11px; COLOR: gold">? posted by OtZman</TD></TR>
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<TD bgColor=#151515>I haven't seen Return of the King yet... :sad:

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<TD style="FONT-SIZE: 11px; COLOR: gold">? posted by www.snarkpit.com http:>Hornpipe2</A></TD></TR>
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<TD bgColor=#151515>I wonder what Peter Jackson is up to next...? </TD></TR></TABLE>

Maybe he's making BAD TASTE 2 or something...

</TD></TR></TABLE>Actually, I've heard "King Kong" then "Chronicles of Narnia".

I made a point of not reading this thread until id seen the movie...

Definitely best movie of the trilogy. Probably the best movie Ive ever seen.

Best scene, definitely, was when the Orcs were attacking the city... i forget its name. The catapults launching severed heads were cool, if a bit gruesome.

When Frodo is about to throw the ring into the lava, I was actually hoping he would fall off. Not that I was anti-Frodo (though we all were about quarter way through the endings), but I would like to see a movie without a happy ending. Like Apocalypse Now. I think that if the movie was exactly the same, except Frodo sacrificed himself to destroy the ring, it would be better.

I'll still give it 5 stars, it was a f***ing good movie.

wil5on said:
Best scene, definitely, was when the Orcs were attacking the city... i forget its name.

That would be Minas Tirith. Pay attention next time! :razz:

Mr.Ben said:
The houses of healing makes a guest appearance in the extended DVD actually.

The one thing i didn't like about all of the films was the lack of Gimili kicking ass. In the books you hear him talking about how he hewed a couple of orc heads off and how one notched his colour and how he's a particulary hardcore drawf but you don't really see any of it in the film. Nearly all of the charecters have a small scene where it's just them and they're just kicking booty but Gimili just turns up on screen and just says 28 and your like wow thats great but how about you show us kicking ass? One scene, just him and 3 orcs and he swings taking off all their heads would make the films perfect :biggrin:

Thats really good to know, I was always fond of Eowyn and Faramir, so it was disappointing to see they missed their endings out in the film.

About Gimli - in the Fellowship he did get to do the Troll dodging scene in mines, which was somewhat cool, but I guess it didn't make him look hardcore or anything. In The Two Towers he also got to at least save Aragorn like in the book, and defend the gate into Helm's Deep. Again, perhaps he doesn't get the "OMG!!!" factor that Legolas is frequently given, but at least its something. I agree he didn't have anything special to do in ROTK, but at least he got to utter the incredible line "It still only counts as one!" :biggrin:

Kage_Prototype said:

wil5on said:
Best scene, definitely, was when the Orcs were attacking the city... i forget its name.

That would be Minas Tirith. Pay attention next time! :razz:

Comeon, with a battle scene that huge, how am I supposed to remember the name of the city? Or maybe its just that Ive got a bad memory for LOTR names. Anyways, I knew it was in Gondor (though i didnt mention it) and thats got to count for something!

BTW, I also agree with Cass on the searchlight. The Eye shouldnt move, the searchlight looked stupid.

It's saurons little lighthouse. :smile: Stupid doesn't describe how silly it is :smile:

wil5on said:
Comeon, with a battle scene that huge, how am I supposed to remember the name of the city?

By listening to the characters say it a number of times BEFORE the battle scene? :razz:

Out of the three films adapted this was the best theatrical release. The other films (especially the two towers) didn't shine until the extended editions were released. Now I don't even consider the theatrical cuts films, they're like the edited for TV versions.
I finished reading Return of the King not hours before I went to see it (midnight showing on the 17th) and I was amazed at how much of that film was direct quotes from the book. Everything Denethore said was almost exactly what was written in the book. The only thing that bugged me was the when the Witch King (King of the Nazgul, the one that stabbed Frodo) left Minas Morgul an Urukaih asked "what about the wizard" and the Witch King said "I will crush him" and he never even confronted Gandalf. I know the scene was cut out, but that pissed me off. Also Saruman's staff being broken by the newly reformed Gandalf should have been there, screw New line for cutting that out of the theatrical cut, that scene is actually important. But other then that the film was flawless. The images of Mt. Doom were identical to the renderings done for the book; Peter Jackson has regained esteem in my book. The only other thing they cut out was the Scouring of the Shire where Saruman comes and screws everything up in the Shire (Mainly Hobbiton) and the Hobbits get to kick some ass, but that would have been too depressing in the movie, and it only fits in the book.
Well, this was long and drawn out, and confirmed beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'm a geek, but who cares?

Dont know where this is from, but its extremely funny.

What NOT to do at Return of the King:

1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait...where the hell
is Harry Potter?"

2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: "YOU..... SHALL NOT.....
PASS!" - After the movie, say "Lucas could have done it better."

3. Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time
someone says: "The Ring."

4. Point and laugh whenever someone dies.

5. Ask everyone around you if they think Gandalf went to Hogwarts.

6. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr. Anderson."

7. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs sing,
"And I did it.... MY way...!"

8. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone's
finger and fall down the stairs.

9. Dress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle of Helms Deep" Monty Python
style.

10. When Denethor lights the fire, shout "Barbecue!"

11. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout
"RUN FOREST, RUN!"

12. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's what I'm Tolkien
about!" See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the theatre.

13. During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, "Where's Waldo?"

14. Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a single frame of
a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the movie.

15. Start an Orc sing-a-long.

16. Come to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter and wander around
looking terribly confused.

17. When they go in the paths of the dead, wait for a tense moment
and shout,"I see dead people!"

18. Imitate what you think a conversation between Gollum, Dobby and
Yoda would be like.

19. Release a jar of daddy-long-legs into the theater during the
Shelob scene.

20. Wonder out loud if Aragorn is going to run for governor of
California.

21. When Shelob comes on, exclaim, "Man! Charlotte's really let
herself go!"

6. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr. Anderson."
i did! :biggrin:

I finally saw the movie today. :biggrin:

I must say It has been the best movie all year! There was a couple parts that dragged on a bit too long but appart from that it was awesome!

Cassius - Is there anything that you can't complain about :razz:

GREAT MOVIE!!! :biggrin: