humorous thoughts

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I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Life is sexually transmitted, have you ever thought about that?

An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead?"

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

You read about all these terrorists --- most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10 -15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.[size=13][size=16][size=13][/size]
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Awfully optimistic aren't you, brasso? lol

well i got bit i'll admit stunned - it took a while to hit
but when it hit me i was hit, s**t, i came clean with it
no match, who am i?
no match who am i so why try to deny it
i'm just a regular who won't even try it

that bug's been around since time began
it's bitten bigger better bastards than the one i am
it can cripple and it can paralyze
when i felt its tooth i told the truth to my surprise

that bug bit me and i gotta say, ahh i tried to get away
i tried to run and i tried to fight but the bug was there to bite
no match who am i?
must suspect the insect it injects and infects
and if i may interject, well i love the effects

that bug's been around since time began
it's bitten bigger better bastards than the one i am
it can cripple and it can paralyze
when i felt its tooth i told the truth to my surprise

nice cash...must be in a good mood tonight eh?...

Doc Brass... :dodgy:

Bright green text on white background?! My eyes! They bleed!

There is a 'remove formatting' button now, the red X at the top? And why the hell does your post have slashes before quote marks?! Gagh

lol @ Brasso ^^

because yer damn setup booted me out during typing, and wouldnt let me change the format....i debated for an hour whether to delete it, but i decided you needed to see it for yourself....and i know about the damn red X my friend....now that youve seen it, ill delete it....

Doc Brass... :dodgy:

and by the way, you know where you can stick that trout yer twacking me with sir.... :wink:

EDIT>>>> retyped, and now a lovely shade of green....

[color=white]EDIT>>>> and no Cronos, im too old and jaded, let alone becoming more cynical by the minute these days....not a good way to be[/color]

Hmm, this thread seems a little different from when I posted last night. Brasso's message consisted of something like "Gah, got bit by the bug" so I posted the lyrics to "That Bug Bit Me." I like a few of these, particularly that blue one. Good joke that.

I was being sarcastic . . . also, I'm assuming because of your time out errors, your post was up there earlier when I had replied and it said something completly different so I had think of something else and I was quite tired.

Also,Try Mozilla, it times out too, but only when you click submit,for the sp in particular, and then you can copy and paste the text if you want. And if you don't like it, after all, you can uninstall it. I'd suggest 1.6 to be safe, the others are betas and whatnot.

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Cash: That's what I was sayin' lol
I think he was having a timeout issue.
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cronos, thats exactly what is happening with IE6 ....i think Lep is finally on the case....

and i did see both yer posts, and no cash, you werent seeing things....but i must say sir, your timing was impeccable....actually both or yours were....

......and after that little bout last night, i needed a "time out"....

Doc B... :dodgy:

Less chat, more Bosstones.

that's a hell of a hat that you're wearing
goes real well with your earring
five through the nose, bold and daring
you've got to pardon me if i'm staring
man i really dig your shoes
fat fade and fresh tattoos
bet the females can't refuse
and if i'm staring please excuse

sharpest motherf**ker in the joint
the other motherf**kers stop and point
the gear you wear seems complete
but why you gotta pack the heat?

we question one accessory!
don't think the piece is necessary!
we agree you're dressed to kill!
but wonder if you will!

hell of a hat you're sporting jack
diamond cufflinks and a sweet tie tack
the pocket watch must've set you back
you're the man, man, you're the mack
the pinstriped number, me oh my, that's rude
and that's a hell of an attitude
you made the scene and set the mood
i'm only staring cause i'm nervous dude

sharpest motherf**ker we repeat
no other motherf**ker can compete
the clothes you choose are stylin son
why you gotta wear the gun?

we question one accessory!
don't think the piece is necessary!
we agree you're dressed to kill!
but wonder if you will!

pardon me cash, but thats an interesting motiff...you have the start of actually a decent song....i have a melody going in my head that i think suits it quite well, ya mind if i try to....give em hell??.... :wink:

Doc Brass... :dodgy:

i will tell you what when you finished reading the post with green text and then look at the white text some of it seems Purple and whate :? i suppose it is just me though :x

very 60's eh pegs?...

Doc B... :dodgy:

"So your saying chicken-foot is a legend?! I guess the rest of the paranormal monsters are not real either! Like bigfoot, and UFOs, and hobos."

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Brasso-Kona-]
very 60's eh pegs?...

Doc B... :dodgy:

lol yeah

[color=#32cd32]Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

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Like that one :smile:

One more, since I believe in the rule of three

they played something they made something brand new a baby blue machine
brass tacks duct tape for the great escape packed in there like sardines
east south west north let's go shred the atlas burn the map
often lost and paths criss-crossed wake me up i need a nap

1,2 what's in the stew 3,4 no one's really sure
5,6 what's in the mix 7,8 this stuff tastes...

they did something which meant something and that got them some attention
eyes wide! a roller coaster ride and take pride in this invention
i think they're selling snake oil at the dog and pony show
and in the garden gee would you pardon me by the way how does it grow?

1,2 what's in the stew 3,4 no one's really sure
5,6 what's in the mix 7,8 this stuff tastes...

(great..)

the explanation's unexplainable holding onto something once dreamt unattainable
the course was never charted so don't look into the books
the secret's not the recipe it's gotta be the cooks
they made something they played something blood sweat and elbow grease
well if you can't stand the heat in the kitchen get out it will increase! (get out it will increase)
last train to where? hey get out of here nothing's measured and nothing's weighed
a dash of honesty in the recipe hey that's the first mistake you've made

1,2 what's in the stew 3,4 no one's really sure
5,6 what's in the mix 7,8 this stuff tastes...

great.