My latest nonsense

Apologies for infesting the SnarkPit with this stuff, but I reckon some of you might enjoy it. Comments/crits. welcome, of course!

Owlish misdirection and other nonsense

Pray who are you, that play so slyly on
The surface of my incoherent thoughts?
Are you mine? Then lift me up; kiss anon
My wrinkled brow that strains for thou and thine.
Do you depart? Then come back soon; I wait
In darkness where you leave my sightless start.
Will you return? Then I may live; give straight
Some breath, the which I may inspiring burn.

Did I steal you from a better lover?
Are you but passing on his words to me?
Think you on the pleasures of another
Yet falsely swear that mine are new to thee?

You are reading this over my shoulder
Yet you ask for whom it is meant.
You cannot divine the sense of these words
Whose life you so willingly lent.
Your body is the shape of a riddle;
Your soul is deceptively brief.
Your very breath is a glorious death,
Your every lover a thief.
I will have to abandon your graces
Before I can show them to you,
And so you shall find my riddles unwind
In nonsense that?s owlishly true:

It is to you I write, to whit;
To whit, I write to you.
It is to you I write ? to Wit.
I write to Wit to woo.

I in no way feel capable of criticisms for this type of writing. let me just say, taht I love how you play with the language.

Why thank you :smile: Any criticism, qualified or not, is welcome too - you're certainly more qualified than most, simply by virtue of being a writer.

I like the style... reminds me a little of some of Bethlehems songs, if you know who they are.

I don't know who they are - point me a link, if you would be so kind :smile:

Reminds me of my ex-wife..

Good Poem.

($)

Bethlehem is a dark metal band from germany. There songs are really hard to understand cause there?s not much consistancy in them. I really like this band, there music is great.

Here ya have a link to there homepage: http://www.angelfire.com/ego/bethlehem/ :smile:

Hope ya like em