My first map

Done with my first map now :biggrin:
Take a look :biggrin:





Give me some response then
the fps is cause my computer suxxorz... Please sponsor me with a new one! :razz:

id take a look but your jpg seems to be 1024x768 in size  its only loaded 10% of it so far.

Please, please reduce those screenshot sizes - www.xat.com . Not everyone has a fat pipe connecting them to the internet, particuarly in the UK! You'll get more feedback with screenshots smaller in size and in dimensions

ARGH!!! I accidentally (god knows how) dragged one of those screenshots into the URL bar and lost my big post. I hate doing s**t like that. Anyway, I'll try again...

Below is a rather harsh series of comments. I hope you don't get disheartened by these - its your first map so nobody expects great things, and the screenshots are no worse than most of our first efforst were. At the same time I assume you didn't post here to be buttered up, and you want real, useful feedback. So here goes.

BRUSHWORK
Simple and boxy, but then it is a first map. I suspect some of your arches have been "carved" by using cylinders, although I could be wrong, but if they have then its a VERY bad idea - carving is the spawn of satan.

The outside areas are the most convincing here, in particular the second screenshot, but that is proably due to the simplistic nature of old buildings like these.

You should use less crates as these seem unnatural in your setting - instead think of what you would REALLY find in these places.

In future try and use things like door frames, as a simple box hole in a wall really doesn't resemble a door very much.

Your scale is pretty off too - take your last screenshot for example. In it you need to be about 3 metres tall to use the ground floor window! Something that can throw off newcomers with scale is the size of the texture itself. texture artists often create a texture at a size that is far larger than is necessary for the texture as it allows them to make it more detailed. The level designers are supposed to scale these down in the editor to make it the right size in relation to the player.

LIGHTING
Too simple and flat - it really needs work. Lighting is an integral part of mapping and should not be brushed off - doing it well can make a map much better. Your outside region is much too bright, and the lack of shadows doesn't help. The reason for this is most likely that you have given the light_environment a pitch of -90. To get shadows from buildings and things I suggest in future you set it to a lower angle like -70, and give it a direction as well rather than leaving it at the default 0 degrees. Your inside regions need more light fixtures, and try to get used to using texture lighting (there are tutorials on the site) rather than entity lighting as it not only looks better but saves you time too.

Its nice to see you have experimented using light fades on that billboard, however you have them set to a far too high render amount. You shouldn't set it very high at all, it should really be a subtle effect rather than one so "in your face". You should also note that your map is set in the daytime, and so the chances of a light fade being visible at all is next to none. Only use effects when they are suitable - chucking them in just because you can won't impress anyone.

All in all, I'm sorry if I sounded harsh, but I hope it will improve your future efforts. Good luck :smile:

ok, some positive comments? :razz:
I will maybe try to make maps more realistic :smile:
But i'm a first-time mapper, so i am just at the learning-point :biggrin:
Textured lights... i just can't get them working...
And to your little harsh comment, it's ok :biggrin:

Rename the file valve.rad in you worldcraft folder to lights.rad and make sure it has some words and numbers written in it.

Mor7y said:
ok, some positive comments? :razz:
I will maybe try to make maps more realistic :smile:
But i'm a first-time mapper, so i am just at the learning-point :biggrin:
Textured lights... i just can't get them working...
And to your little harsh comment, it's ok :biggrin:

The SnarkPit is no place for getting your ego petted unless you truly have skill. You can't honestly expect your first map to get stellar reviews by what is probably the most experienced mapping community for HL.

That aside, the map is great for a first timer, except you need to learn player scale better and lose the fade lights.

i see...
But i have renamed valve.rad to lights.rad and so on, i know what i have to do, and it still don't work!!

Only textures mentioned in the valve.rad file will emit light. All you need to do to use these texture lights is put one of these textures on a face in your map, and it will then emit the light property it is assigned in the .rad file.

Why don't you just submit some links for your screenshots? Instead of posting them directly in the forum...??? (It mess it all up)... :eek:

To each their own I guess - I personally prefer to have the screenshots in the post, and others seem to also.  However I reckon these screenshots are much too big - keep them below 800x600.

groans

900+ k image sizes :eek:

ok ok.. i got that with sizes now :razz:

I'm not on an extremly slow....connection but this just does it. 1mb images! Come on! That's just evil.

Mor7y said:
ok ok.. i got that with sizes now :razz:

but i am not changing a damned thing.. deal with it..

thats ballsy .. acknowledging the error on your part, but persisting on leaving the pics above 50k ...

i foresee a dismal/rocky future in store for you..

Eh, whatever. Smaller screenshots still won't make it look that good. He promises to put smaller ones up for his next map, let's just let this one go. It looks decent enough for a first map but that's about it.

Cash Car Star said:
Eh, whatever. Smaller screenshots still won't make it look that good. He promises to put smaller ones up for his next map, let's just let this one go. It looks decent enough for a first map but that's about it.

hey, its my pet peeve.. allow me my one vice left :razz:

still you have a point.. next time i will be less patient.. :wink:

The Obligatory warning message: This is NOT a review, it is to be considered opinion only, and as such totally dis-regarded if it is contrary to the authors intended results.. anything in this critique can be ignored with no ill will or hard feelings incurred..

where to begin, scratches buttocks

the author is obviously so new i am fearful my comments may frighten him off, especially since he has asked so nicely for nearly a week for me to look at this map.. the basic truth is.. its very primitive, and severely out of scale.. it has halls and alley so long, i got winded just holding the arrow key on forward :biggrin:

but i will endeavor to remain positive, afterall, i do remember what it is like to wait expectantly for some word from someone i perceive as a peer, so lets see if i can live up to everyones expectations, and my reputation as a fair critique person..





in these first two shots, you will note the uncharacteristically long alley's.. since i am not real familiar with CS gameplay i cannot be sure, but these types of lengths would seem detrimental to gameplay IMO... i would suggest either shortening them up a bit, or possibly providing some cover, in the form of a doorway or secondary alley intersections..



this plank-wood platform must have a purpose, but it seems unfinished, it needs some sort of a frame maybe, and possibly elevated off the ground, possibly a dock of some sort for a warehouse???



another EXTREMELY LONG hallway to.... a dead-end railway area... some forethought really needs incorporated.. this map doesn't need scrapped, but re-vamped severely.



my suggestion, remove the fence, add a wood guardrail and clip the area off after you extend the depth of the darkened area of course



the ceiling in this area needs to reflect the purpose of the area, it is afterall a subway, or a train area of some sort.. the ceiling is rather low and unadorned.. plenty of r's to waste in here, burn a few of them in detail





these next two shots are to illustrate the thin nature of the archway.. IMO it is a bit to thin.





another thin wall to......... nowhere :sad:



i suggest you skip the fountain till you acquire the fundamentals in flowing water, or go find a decent prefab one... moneyshot just uploaded one to PFL recently.. try his :smile:



the crate is a tad elevated :biggrin:

honestly, i wish i could be more encouraging, but....

i feel that for a first map, its very good, i also feel it has no playability in its present condition, i also feel that it is more of a DM map than a CS one, i might suggest reading a tut on layout and game goals for a good CS map.. this one, even without any practical experience, still doesn't look or feel like a CS map...

one last suggestion, make your buildings of varying heights and widths.. walls seldom meet quite so flush..

sorry i couldn't be more encouraging, but.... it could be worse.. if a map is really bad, i usually pass on commenting at all :smile:

i look forward to future releases and/or versions

 

 

Orpheus said:
the crate is a tad elevated :biggrin:

When you try to avoid face splitting, you should do it somewhere where the player won't notice.  :biggrin:

func_wall it.

And I liked fy_iceworld. And aim_map_usp, and cs c**k, and killbox, and snipe, and farm_snipe too.

Cassius said:
And I liked fy_iceworld. And aim_map_usp, and cs c**k, and killbox, and snipe, and farm_snipe too.

/me scans list slowly...  :eek:

good one cass , very funny..

/me contacts guys in white suits, sends them to cass's IP address..

 

Thx.. i think :smile:
i know it's not a very great map :razz: , and i think i don't will make any more versions/updates.. i think i'm going to just start at another one :biggrin:

Mor7y said:
Thx.. i think :smile:
i know it's not a very great map :razz: , and i think i don't will make any more versions/updates.. i think i'm going to just start at another one :biggrin:

i was as gentile as i could be :smile:

take it in stride bud.. i was as giving as i know how..

you have the basics, and the knowledge now to improve.. use it..

be sure to come back and let me see your next project :smile:

thank you very much :biggrin: