Re: Mom's humor # 5
Posted by Dr Brasso on
Mon Mar 15th 2004 at 3:16am
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Aug 30th 2003
Occupation: cad drafter
Location: Omaha,NE
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<DIV></DIV> A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have tried hard to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one
<DIV></DIV>wish."
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<DIV></DIV> The man said, "Okay, how about building a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over any time I want?"
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<DIV></DIV> The Lord replied, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required would have to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me."
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<DIV></DIV> The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside; what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment; why she cries; what she means when she says nothing's wrong; and how to make a woman truly happy."
<DIV></DIV> The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
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Re: Mom's humor # 5
Posted by Andrei on
Mon Mar 15th 2004 at 9:02am
Andrei
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Sep 15th 2003
Location: Bucharest, Romania
Lol, knew that one :smile: .
A general is invited in a class room to tell the children about the heroism of the romanian soldiers in the battle for the Baneasa forest. "On day one, we kicked the germans arses so hard that they started to s**t themselves..." "General, says the teacher, the children..." "No, the children must know the facts, ma'am." "The second day, they regrouped and attacked us.They hit us so hard that we started to s**t ourselves. On day three, we regrouped at the airfield and hit them so hard that they started to s**t on themselves again.Finnaly, on day four, came the forester and said "Get out of here, you vandals; youve filled my forest with s**t!!!!!".