I'm Bionic Man!

Heart monitor to... monitor my heart 'cause I had surgery when I was a youngster. I had them do this today so that I could bring it to class tomorrow and pick up chicks... so what's sadder: the fact that I play on female sympathy, or that they're willing to go along with it?

:kitty:

You seem to sure be proud of it. Did they give you the free complimentary rocket launcher arm with the surgery or the lolly pop.

Have you had to wear this ever since the surgery, or just recently?
Must be annoying if you have to wear it all the time, but hell if it
gets you female attention then its not all bad :wink:

Haha. :razz: It wasn't surgery, actually, I've got 7 or 8 sticky things on my chest that connect to the monitor I've got in my pocket.

I have to go off topic here Hugh and tell you that you have the funniest avatar I have ever seen.

Did they give you a small man to put in your pocket to read the
monitor? Or did they do some crazy surgery on your eyes to let you see
through your trousers?

Spartan: Thanks, I stole it from... a secret image collection that's very secret.

ReNo: Nah, no small man to put in my pocket, that'd be really creepy. And why would I want to see through my trousers... maybe to see through bras of attractive females, that'd be neat. :wink:

A friend of mine has had heart surgery about 5 times in his life. He has a really weak heart. A couple years ago he got a valve replaced so now he sounds like a metronome.

Ergh, that has to suck. My heart was fine, just the arteries were pumping in the wrong direction. So basically the left artery's doing the work of the right and vice versa... which brings to a strange effect where the left side of my chest is pushed out, because that's the way the artery pumps apparently now, normally it goes to the back... people notice and think I have breast cancer sometimes...

That's great! does it pulse or somthing? I'm so skinny I can see my heart beat, but I don't know if other people notice.

No it doesn't pulse, but even though I'm horrifically skinny, I can't see my heartbeat... you should go see the king of burgers, Burger King, eat a bunch, then visit his wife's house, the Dairy Queen, and... eat a bunch more. 'cause yikes.

I can only imagine the possibilities for pickup lines.

"Hey baby, are my arteries pumping in the wrong direction and requiring a heart monitor or am I just excited to see you?"

.. Hmm... I guess that's why people hiss at me. :smile:

... if you want a pickup line, use something classy like "Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?" Or maybe "Does it smell like rotten cheese in here or is that your feet?" etc.

What are you guys? Allurement challanged?

Say something like, "You look stressed, want to talk in bed?"

Campaignjunkie said:
.. Hmm... I guess that's why people hiss at me. :smile:

thats not hissing CJ, its the sound of the spitballs exiting the straw

LOL @ orph

here, heres your cookie.

Oh Orph, you erm... rapscallion.

Anyway, my bionic nature didn't attract the ladies... I guess they figured box + wires = bomb, since I got a ton of weird looks and one guy looked like he was that close to beating the holy s**t out of me.

Thanks for the cewkie $loth devours