DrGlass, I wrote you a long response then my internet timed out and I lost it. Mildly frustrating. Let's see if I can get it to work this time.
<DIV class=quote>
<DIV class=quotetitle>・quoting
DrGlass</DIV>
<DIV class=quotetext>as for online communication. I think that the retardation of people skills is arguable. What are "good social skills?" pretending you agree with other people? Not speaking your mind because your afraid of what girls will think? </DIV></DIV>
<DIV>Well, those two examples of "good social skills" are not the ones I would give (they're a bit too jaded for my tastes). I've put some thought into it and I guess the best and most concise definition of "good social skills" that I can give would be to equate it with being charismatic:</DIV>
- Personal magnetism or charm
I'm not saying I think that "good social skills" means you have to bamboozle everyone into liking you, or following you wherever you lead them... but instead I feel like someone with "good social skills" can, upon meeting someone, find some common ground, converse in a meaningful way (about topics that extend beyond the superficial), and ultimately get the other person to warm up to them, to enjoy the conversation, to feel like a real human connection had been made. In my limited experience, none of those attributes or effects of "good social skills" (by my definition) really come into play online or through other forms of mediated communication.
Phone conversations may come close, but they lack a fundamental quality of communication that I think begins to answers this question:
<DIV class=quote>
<DIV class=quotetitle>・quoting
DrGlass</DIV>
<DIV class=quotetext>back to the topic, video games can be "addictive" and a prime example is MMORPGs. My question; is that not just another facet of human communication? Is it any-less real or less fake than "real" life? </DIV></DIV>
The fundamental quality of communication that MMORPG's lack, in my opinion, is the physical nature of inter-personal communication. When you talk to someone face-to-face, there are subtleties in inflection, tone, facial expression (or lack thereof), and body language. A lot of these subtleties don't even consciously register, but they all add up to give each person a "feeling" of how the conversation is going.
I mean, have you ever met someone and after a few minutes of conversation realize you really like that person? And it seems pretty apparent that they feel the same way? I'm not talking about having a crush on someone, but rather, you feel a connection somehow, the potential for a strong friendship. There weren't enough words exchanged to give you this feeling, but instead the body language (a genuine smile for example) made you feel comfortable and happy to be around this person. I've experienced this a few times with a few different people. I wouldn't consider myself a charismatic guy, and I feel like its the only times I ever experienced charisma... if that makes any sense at all.
Anyway, that's just one example of how I think MMORPG communication is less real, or less substantial than face-to-face communication.
<DIV class=quote>
<DIV class=quotetitle>・quoting
DrGlass</DIV>
<DIV class=quotetext>Which begs the question, who was more real? The homophobic or the homosexual?</DIV></DIV>
I really like this example, and this idea. As I see it, the experience of this politician deals more with identity that communication. Obviously, when he was online he was being truer to his identity than when he was walking around in real life. As a staunch anti-homosexual, he basically lives a self-contradictory lie, and in this particular example I would say his communication online was more HONEST than his communication in person. However, I'm not sure which was more REAL.
I have a feeling that this example of the politician isn't the usual case.
Regardless, I think that physical inter-personal reaction is a life skill that shouldn't be ignored in favor of the development of an online persona. I spend more than average amounts of time online (mostly here), but I still truly value the conversations and interactions I have in person. They often illicit stronger emotions, more genuine and long-lasting relationships, and in the end make me happier (or sadder on occasion).
I'm not trying to say that online conversation is worthless (I find this particular conversation VERY edifying), just that it should never be a substitute for face-to-face communcation.
Ok, thanks for all the food for thought DrGlass, I hope you take the time to read all this :smile: