Inheritance- Life after death.

The wife and I were talking today about how the viewpoint of offspring has changed since we were kids. Todays children seem reluctant to move away from home. Worse, most kids think its the parents obligation to take care of their children till the child feels its enough or time to quit. Worse still, some even think that they deserve some kind of an inheritance after the parents die.

I'd be interested in knowing your views on parenting, and their obligations toward their children after the child reached adulthood.

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The best things in life, aren't things.

Live your life like you could die tomorrow. That includes child rearing. When I have a litter, I will raise them to be independent. If worse comes to worse, they'll be ok on their own.
It's that whole 'teach a man to fish' thing.

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Also change the texture of the dock. Docks are rarely tile. -Facepunch
As I Lay Dying

I'm waiting until the day I can move out... then again my parents always brought me up in a fashion where I had to earn/work for most of what I got, even if it was in some small way. I've been taught to crave independence and be on my own, so as soon as I'm 18 and have an income, I'll be moving out.

Granted, that moving out will probably be to residence for university, but we'll see. A couple of buds and I are most likely gonna end up renting an apartment together. Aaaaaaaanyways...

On the topic of inheritance, this is my question: If you don't give away what your s**t to your kids when you die... who else is going to use it?

I agree that todays children are reluctant to move away from home, and
I cannot comment on the USA or indiviudal states - moving out in
Britain is extremely difficult. The richest are being lent 6x their
wage to buy lovely country houses, whiile the normal worker -
particularly key workers (eg teachers, doctors, firemen) are priced out
of the market.

The UK property market is obscene currently, hundreds of thousands of
pounds (ie ?300,000 = $600,000+ for a 2 bedroomed "terrace") in the
bigger cities. Myself, I would like to finish studies and move to
Europe - houses are cheaper, crime is lower, tax is lower and attitudes
are generally better.

I agree that todays children are reluctant to move away from home, and
I cannot comment on the USA or indiviudal states - moving out in
Britain is extremely difficult. The richest are being lent 6x their
wage to buy lovely country houses, whiile the normal worker -
particularly key workers (eg teachers, doctors, firemen) are priced out
of the market.

Same hear and recently the housing market has crashed hear. nothing but foreclosure after foreclosure.

Jeez. I am finding it difficult to fork out 30 grand for a 5 acre spread in Oklahoma.

To me, 30,000 seems steep for a lousy 5 acres. You guys have it real rough.

Makes me seem petty to be balking at 30,000.

If its really so bad, move to the states. There is plenty of room and, you can finally stop bitching about how things are here cause you'll finally have real, first hand information to base your viewpoint on. :razz:

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The best things in life, aren't things.

Heh, I wish I could - and others. The option to move is negated by
already being tied into finance deals for cars, houses etc. I'm still
with my parents, I will work in China for a year when i'm done studying
then probably move to the EU continent for a job with the European
Union.

I'd move to the EU or Aus/NZ when possible, I can't stand in line with
either the Republicans or Democrats in the US so that's out the window!
The UK is not an option, although we are on for a crash next year
(allegedly) - house prices however won't solve the malaise which has
it's grip on British societal morals.

I think the wording is wrong... I don't think reluctant is quite right. I think everybody wants to get the hell out of their parents place. What you guys are talking about is an inability due to financial restrictions, but I wouldn't call it being reluctant.

Yeah, its pretty hard to move out of home. You need a stable income with a decent amount of money to at least rent a flat and buy all the essentials.

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Aaron's Stuff

In some cases I think you're right Frenchy but.. I do not think its a majority view.

Kids now days are reluctant to be independent. Sure, some will move away from home, but they still have some sort of an umbilical attached to daddies wallet.

Independent is exactly that. Being responsible for yourselves. Hook, line and sinker.

TBH, I do not know anyone under 25 independent. Not one single person. :sad:

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The best things in life, aren't things.

Jeez. I am finding it difficult to fork out 30 grand for a 5 acre spread in Oklahoma.
To me, 30,000 seems steep for a lousy 5 acres. You guys have it real rough.
Makes me seem petty to be balking at 30,000.
If its really so bad, move to the states. There is plenty of room and, you can finally stop bitching about how things are here cause you'll finally have real, first hand information to base your viewpoint on. :razz:

Haha...30k? The dirt on the property in my place alone (1/4 acre) is worth like 500-600k. And this isn't downtown Vancouver or anything. Property values keep going up in the 10-30% range each year. Not to mention all the school costs, that's why I'm still stuck at home, I want to try and get out with no debt, at least start at 0, not in the hole.

My parents don't expect me to be completely independent, they do, however, expect me to have the ability to be when I must. More important than property and monetary independence, I consider a mental independence to be more important. The lessons I learned most efficiently are the ones I learned myself, mainly through trial and error though more of the latter. Though my parents influenced my views somewhat, the influenced me more to think my own thoughts instead of theirs.

Generally speaking, an acre of land in Oregon is anywhere from $300,000 to $3,000,000 depending on the location.

I hear Ohio is dirt cheap on land (like less than $1,000 an acre), the problem is Amish own most of it and don't sell to others (nor do they pay any tax on the massive amounts of land they own, which is bulls**t) in addition to that, most of the land is mined :s

As for the whole inheritance thing ... well, there's a bunch of factors, really and a lot of them really fall on whether you're a good parent or not. Or at the least, how the child 'turned out'. If you think they're snotty, ignorant, good-for-nothing idiots, then there's a good chance it's your fault as a parent.

But, you also have to look at it this way. You brought the child into the world ... without their consent (sort of an obvious thing, but it's the situation). In effect, they really are your responsibility. Period. But, that can mean a lot of things, one of which is it's your responsibility to form them into an independent adult (in our society, anyway). It can mean many things.
An additional argument may be, I paid for them until they were x years old. But, that's a moot argument, because ... well ... they're your children, you have to do that, if you don't, you're a horrible human being.
So, saying they don't get an inheritance because of that is a farce, since, they really had no choice to be born.

It's all in how you raised them. I mean, if you gave them everything (and had everything to give) like ... millions of dollar and trust funds and all that crap ... then ... no they're not "entitled" to anything else. But if you're not in that position, there's a good chance that you didn't get to give them the things you wanted to and inheritance is really the only way to accomplish that. Also considering that usually things that are inherited are not just monetary things or money, but things that meant something.

It really depends, in general, I think, yeah, they probably are. But, "in general" to someone else reading this might mean the child turned out to be a crack dealer, I don't know. So, realistically, yeah.

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Blame it on Microsoft, God does.

Meh, what's up with everyone. I love living at home (when I have my computer with me). Right now I live alone in a 24 sqr meter appartment, and it's a bit lonely.

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What the Snarkpitters listen to!

Gwil said:
then probably move to the EU continent for a job with the European Union.

good luck with that. the exams are though, and the topics are big and boring (well, to me anyway). And you have to hope your fellow contestants arent really good, as you come on a ranked list based on your results. If they only need a few they pick the ones above you.

As for moving out, yeah i'm moving out of my mother's house in june hopefully, to rent an appartment with my gf. I was in a student home for 6 years, and now living at home again makes me yearn for that indepenence ever more.

Crono said:
But, you also have to look at it this way. You brought the child into the world ... without their consent (sort of an obvious thing, but it's the situation). In effect, they really are your responsibility.

Considering the alternatives, but you make it sound like a penalty, or penance Adam.

I understand your point, but obviously I disagree with the duration I guess.

I consider it my obligation to give my children everything until they are 18. That includes all those tid-bits of information they roll their eyes at. Monetarily speaking, I give till it hurts till they are 18 as well. Of course, my being poorer than some, that might mean I hurt a bit sooner but as long as I am giving as much percentage wise, I feel unashamed.

After they are 18 its only my obligation to assist them if they stumble. It is not my responsibility if their stumbling involves something I advised them against however. IE, they rob a store. They do the time. But, if they have some misfortune not of their own creation then obviously I will do what I can.

My wife and I decided to have our kids, while we were young. Both of us agreed that neither of us wanted to be old people raising children. We wanted them gone before we got old.

Anywho, I don't owe my children anything after I die. After all, I'm the one dead. Thats about as much payment as anyone should be required to give.

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The best things in life, aren't things.

In effect, they really are your responsibility. Period.

<div class="abouttext">Message submitted 2 minutes after original post:</b></div>
well crono, it is the parents responsibility, to toe the thin line between dominating their life and total freedom. As well as teaching them to be responsible and support themselves, the parents must also instill in them a set of morals that will help them make the right decisions

Yea, well, I think it's obvious that it should be the parent's goals to make them stand on their own feet by the age of 18 (or the end of education which can be 19 or 20 where I live). It's impossible for me to comment on how things have changed as I'm only 22 myself.

I don't get the part about inheritance, though?

If I die I'd rather see my money in the hands of my children than anyone else in the world.

If it's "saving up" money for the coming generation... that's another topic. I hope to raise my (yet non-existent) children to love me enough to not care what I do with my own money when I'm old. I mean I think it's good and fair to invest into your children. My parents payed a lot for my education, even and especially after the age of 18 and although I appreciate it I see it as the normal thing to do. But I wouldn't like to abstain from buying that lovely cottage (or whatever it is old people do with their money) because my 30-year old child wants the money for him/herself.

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Why snark works.

A very basic problem is what you consider adulthood. Even if a
country's laws say that a teen is an adult @ day X of his life, that
doesn't mean that all 18 yr olds in question are mature enough to be
economically or emotionally independent.

For example, if your kid has never had to work hard for anything, he's
really going to have a hard time if you tell him: "Today you're 18.
Find a real job and leave the house, you're already an adult."

Parents have the duty to take care of the children and do what they can
to prepare them to be independent. That means you don't have to take
care of them forever, but you also can't really draw a sharp line
defining when it's time for them to be on their own.

It is true that today the urge to leave the family home has changed.
Moving to a place where they don't have their good Internet connection,
the big TV and countless other gadgets is not the most attractive
option for some.

In my country, Spain, young adults stay many years at their parent's
house. Housing prices are rising exponentially faster than salaries,
and young adults who want to create a family don't have the income
needed for a half-decent house. If they go into a smaller apartment
until they decide to have kids, chances are the prices will be much
worse than before!

About inheritance. It's perfectly OK for a parent to give things to
their children, but a child has no right to demand inheritance. Think
of it as a present, a certain act of generosity/love, not an
obligation.

... they really are your responsibility. Period. But, that can mean a lot of things, one of which is it's your responsibility to form them into an independent adult (in our society, anyway). It can mean many things. ...

I have a feeling that statement was ignored.
Responsibility isn't just "how much money can you shell out to raise the child". I'll just clarify that I'm not just talking about money or "lessons".

A lot of people 'raise' their children in a half-assed way teaching them next to nothing and expecting full care service when they are older and sorts of things, when, in all actuality, they never gave anything to the child besides "life". That's not enough. It's the parents responsibility forever. What the responsibility is changes with time. You will always be your child's parent, and chances are you will always be teaching them something new whether you're aware of that or not.

What I was really trying to say is that the responsibility changes. It changes from "raising" to whatever. The problem a lot of people seem to have is "You're 18, go away" mentality and it's very obscure. I'm not saying your child should mooch off you forever, I'm saying that if you do your job as a parent, you wont even have to make that decision. Or have that, "Maybe you should move out" talk with them.

I don't see how your responsibilities as a parent end at ANY age of the child, whether they're 18 or 90 (If you're still around).
I hope I'm not alone in that thinking.

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Blame it on Microsoft, God does.

Gwil said:
then probably move to the EU continent for a job with the European Union.

good luck with that. the exams are though, and the topics are big
and boring (well, to me anyway). And you have to hope your fellow
contestants arent really good, as you come on a ranked list based on
your results. If they only need a few they pick the ones above you.

As for moving out, yeah i'm moving out of my mother's house in june
hopefully, to rent an appartment with my gf. I was in a student home
for 6 years, and now living at home again makes me yearn for that
indepenence ever more.

Damn right Blister - luckily I have a keen interest in contemporary
politics, particularly on an international level. The only problem as
you pointed out, is getting to grips with the Byzantine like structure
of the EU and its organisations. The two books i'm reading at the
moment are very, very slow going :razz: