Might

due to a divorce settlement weve been forced to sell our house. I only have one phone line & need to keep it open for most of the day now, Il be online for a little while but just to let you know, Eventually il just dissapear for a while, If all goes well il be moved before christmas.

Good luck with the move :smile:

sighs

parents, should be made to stay married till any children created are grown, as part of their pennence for getting married in the first place.

keep in touch, as best you can.

Good luck with it all Korn, don't be a stranger! :smile:

Orpheus said:
sighs

parents, should be made to stay married till any children created are grown, as part of their pennence for getting married in the first place.

I completely and utterly disagree with you...

Leperous said:

Orpheus said:
sighs

parents, should be made to stay married till any children created are grown, as part of their pennence for getting married in the first place.

I completely and utterly disagree with you...

so, what else is new :/

my point is, people get devorced far to quickly now days.. but.... since i have never been devorced, and you are but recently an adult, each of us has little practical experience with it, so neither of us has an opinion..

? posted by Orpheus
parents, should be made to stay married till any children created are grown, as part of their pennence for getting married in the first place.

No, because then the children would suffer more. I have been divorced with children involved...the children suffered "before" the divorce as well, because both parents didn't care for one another enough to pay attention to the kids.

I agree with Lep to completely and uttery disagree with Orph.

btw Korn, I hope all roads lead to happiness for you after this is over. Good luck.

since you both fail to see that cause=effect, i cannot continue this further..

will kids suffer more? you bet they will, thats a sad fact.

but people get divorced at an alarming rate now days, for, in most cases, no reason at all..

kids suffer MORE for the lack of a two parent environment.

still, you have a small point, very small, but its still a valid one.

till a way is found to ensure that the children come first, no outcome will be the best one.. be it divorced, or continuation of the marriage.

personally, i feel BOTH leps and docs view is way to damned narrow.. you might study this a bit more, before you disagree..

i can only hope, that any future children you may produce, or might already have, do not have to suffer because you made a poor choice.. because, from what i just read, neither of you need children.

? posted by Orpheus
personally, i feel BOTh leps and docs view is way to damned narrow.. you might study this a bit more, before you disagree..

Like I said, I been there. Done that. I don't need to study anything because I dealt with it and am still dealing with it even tho the divorce is 2 years old now.

I know kids suffer just as much as parents. But if ya say that parents should stay together for the sake of the kids, well, heh, I did that for 5 years and the life in the home was a very sad place for everyone involved.

Now you're over-stepping your rights to say that we don't even need children. What gives you a right to even say such a thing?

Jesus Orph, show a little compassion for those who have suffered and are suffering...

? posted by Orpheus
i can only hope, that any future children you may produce, or might already have, do not have to suffer because you made a poor choice.. because, from what i just read, neither of you need children.

And now you need to apologize to Lep and I for such a horrible thing to have said.

actually orph m8, I found it allot better living with just my mum, my dad visited me when he could & both parents stayed away from each other. I got sick of arguements, fights and god knows what when they were together. Parents are better parents when they dont see so much of each other.

i won't. nor do i feel compelled to apologize, the fact that you feel it is so, only reinforces my belief that i am correct in saying what i did.. you are by far, NOT a leading authority on maturity..

secondly, i am a childhood survivor of a divorce situation, and blame my parents daily for their inability to fix, what they so obviously screwed up.

doc, you really need to watch yourself, people do NOT have to apologize for their beliefs, and i firmly and wholeheartedly believe my words, so do NOT presume to judge me as if you lived my life with me.

as i said, you are not the definition of a mature individual, so keep it to yourself.

now the real difference between ADULT and CHILD is, i at least acknowledge you have a point, even tho i feel it is a narrow one, i can at least imagine certain condition to where divorce IS THE SOLUTION.. you on the other hand, seem compelled to dismiss my concept, because it doesn't fit your unique circumstances.. you are therefore childish in that outlook.

nevertheless, divorce is not always a VIABLE solution, and short of child physical abuse, or incest, or its ilk, patents should ALWAYS consider the children first, and if that means staying married, tuffs**t, you made your beds, now sleep in them..

if anyone should apologize, it should be you, for being so damned rude..

you are so f**king wrong it's pathetic.

k, I done here.

How'd you like the way your thread's gone, KoRn? I'm sure it's a great comfort to be told whether your parents were right getting divorced or not :rolleyes:

If two parents stay together 'just for the kids', how can that be a healthy environment for a child to grow up in Orph?

Surely it would be better that the parents are apart for whatever reason. My cousins have grown up in a one parent environment and have both turned out to be well-rounded individuals.

I agree that everyone has their right to an opinion, but some opinions are a little extreme and should be kept away from places where people will get upset. i.e. here.

Best of luck tho KoRn :smile: See you soon hopefully :smile:

you see, very few, if anyone can imagine that there are circumstances that warrant exactly what i said, but yet, you guys are so damned small minded..

let me enlighten you a bit kids..

lets look at korns circumstance, he mentions that his parents get along in separateness, better than together, that suggest that they COULD get along together, if they chose to.

doc, it just an asshole so i will ignore his comment out of hand since he so blatantly ignored mine :sad:

adam, there are definitely cases to where the parents being together could harm the children, but in the end it is still the parents doing the harm, and they should be held accountable, life stinks to be sure, but one of the reasons are, no one is really held accountable for their actions any longer..

anyways, since no one is as open minded as i am about this it is fruitless to continue.. either you guys MUST accept that there are alternatives to divorce, or you DON'T, but that doesn't alter the reality, most divorces are completely un-necessary, and the children suffer the long term effects of it.. i blame any parent for not working the issue to a better conclusion... barring harmful actions toward the child (physical and sexual abuse) EVERY SITUATION can be fixed..

if it cannot, guess who screwed up? and divorce only compounds the situation, it does not fix it..

BTW, korn, you have all the sympathy i have to give, i can only hope, that your parents failure as parents, does not alter your outlook in becoming a parent someday.. learn from this, your life will be all the better for it.. you don't want to repeat their mistakes..

my door, is open if you need it :smile:

I know you have good intentions at heart Orph, but today it's not coming across very well :sad:

Telling Korn that his parents are failures is not exactly sensitive - he may or may not share this view.

Good luck Korn, we'll miss you.

Orpheus said:
'anyways, since no one is as open minded as i am about this it is fruitless to continue..'

'that your parents failure as parents'

Your first comment about open-mindedness would include accepting other peoples opinions as well as just preaching your own...

And the second - who says KoRns parents have failed? They're still his parents and don't have to be together to be good parents surely?

I respect your views Orph, I just think that there are other outcomes too :smile:

Adam Hawkins said:
, I just think that there are other outcomes too :smile:

thats funny, cause that exactly what i just said :sad:

and saying korns parents failed, in no way reduces his position as their child.. you guys are just reading WAYYYY to much into my words..

read them, do not add your opinions into them.. you may add opinions of your own, but PLEASE do not alter my words to fit your idea of what you think i said..

i still care about my parents, but as a parent myself, they fail to meet my requirements as responsible adults..

i know all the facts leading up to my parents divorce and none of them were viable or acceptable..

if i came across wrongly today, you might reconsider how you accept what i said, not what i said.

people who insist on getting the wrong idea, when there are alternatives, need to avoid touchy subjects..

i am not WRONG, i may just be not RIGHT.. make sense now?? :/

Oh dear oh dear. There are some very bold and controversial statements being made here.

Gollum is right, I hardly think this is the time, or the place (with the circumstances this thread was posted in) to start a debate on the rights/wrongs of divorce/divorcees.

Have a little common sense and empathy, please.

Let me put it this way Orph:

How would I react if you told me, on the basis of only a meagre understanding of my circumstances, that my parents were failures?

I think I'd tell you to f**k off. And, whilst from a calm and detached point of view, your opinion might be reasonable, I still think I'd be justified in telling you to f**k off.

Now, I know that's not what you meant. But sometimes a little sensitivity and discretion can go a long way :/ Think about how people feel.

Gwil said:
Have a little common sense and empathy, please.

sighs

i hate the voice of reason..

i might add "divorce" to the taboo list we have at SP :sad:

most here, are unable to grasp things without allowing emotionalism to intercede..

i feel, for every child, NO MATTER their current age, who had parents un-able to fix their marriages.. emotional scaring due to divorce has no charts, you cannot say "he turned out OK" because guess what? you don't know that he wouldn't have turned out even better...

The voice of reason is here for a reason! I don't mind the taboo issues being discussed, but we all need to exercise common sense and a little thought before we press submit. Read it through again, and see your words how others would see them. Sometimes (like now) it is best just to stay quiet just for the sake of respect.

Anyhow, peace out. Let's leave the debate for another time.

Orpheus said:
most here, are unable to grasp things without allowing emotionalism to intercede..

That's the way human beings generally are. As Hume would say, Reason is, and ought to be, the slave of the passions.

Gollum said:
Let me put it this way Orph:

How would I react if you told me, on the basis of only a meagre understanding of my circumstances, that my parents were failures?

I think I'd tell you to f**k off. And, whilst from a calm and detached point of view, your opinion might be reasonable, I still think I'd be justified in telling you to f**k off.

Now, I know that's not what you meant. But sometimes a little sensitivity and discretion can go a long way :/ Think about how people feel.

the difference mike, i would not have been offended either way, cause you have every right to say what you did, it wouldn't mean you were correct, but it would still be ok.. i do not concern myself with how people feel, cause it is so unimportant to do so.. no one considered for a second , my feelings when i was told blatantly that i MUST be wrong, the fact remains, at least in my case, i am 100% correct, but you don't know that, cause honestly, you were not here when i was going thru it..

read what i said, do not alter it to what you feel i must have meant.. assume neutrality first, insult second.. korns parents are his whole world, but that does not qualify them as success stories, hence the opposite, failures.

but, that doesn't mean they hate him, you should not apply feelings, where they do not belong.. i "feel" korn will survive this, i KNOW he is a mountain of goodness.. feelings coincide sometimes, sometimes not..

barring harmful actions toward the child (physical and sexual abuse) EVERY SITUATION can be fixed..

Ok, my two cents as it were. That statement right there is so absurd I can barely begin to express whats wrong with it. Time changes people, sometimes over time people change so much due to events beyone their control that it is far better for them to be apart that together. Yes, I agree that far too many people get divorced on a whim, as it were, but in many cases it is the best solution for everyone involved.

In many cases a child will be damaged more by being stuck between two parent who don't love each other anymore rather than living with one and seeing the other. Basing your opinion merely on your own experience and refusing to accept others experiences as a valid part of the argument is very flawed reasoning.

most here, are unable to grasp things without allowing emotionalism to intercede..

And I take that you are including yourself among this group? Because thats certainly the way it seems to me...

FOOLS! THE VOICE OF REASON IS NOT TO BE IGNORED!

YOU WILL FEAR MY "1984" STYLE STATE!

:dorky:

Gwil said:
The voice of reason is here for a reason!

YOU DID IT AGAIN :razz:

read my words.. i said it with the inflextion as " i submit to the will" i hate the voice of reason BECAUSE its usually correct ..

jeeze guys, you really need to get checked out.. there ARE more than one way of reading things :rolleyes:

i do not concern myself with how people feel, cause it is so unimportant to do so

Yet I believe there is nothing more important in this life.

shrug

Orpheus said:

Gwil said:
The voice of reason is here for a reason!

YOU DID IT AGAIN :razz:

read my words.. i said it with the inflextion as " i submit to the will" i hate the voice of reason BECAUSE its usually correct ..

jeeze guys, you really need to get checked out.. there ARE more than one way of reading things :rolleyes:

Exactly sir! :razz: My opening remark was a little tongue in cheek to tell you the truth.. maybe I should be doing the whole skyblue text thing :razz:

Oh well! Continue! (and bring on yet more eye rolling I think..) :rolleyes:

schmung, i think you are wrong, BUT thats no crime..

also, i THINK this conversation has exceeded its daily limit on rationalism..

todays society has become a "ME" society.. if the best thing for the child is for their parents to seperate, because they no longer love each other, then they didn't love each other to begin with, and thats prolly the root of all their issues...

bottomline, there are multiple outcomes and multiple solutions, END OF STORY..

Tracer Bullet said:
Good luck Korn, we'll miss you.

I believe he will be back.. in fact, I dont think the rogue has even gone yet! If he wasn't here the forums would shut down. Oh wait, thats Orpheus...

lightblue gwill, lightblue :wink:

this thread aint half gone pear shaped. Think its best ignored tbh, Anyway. Yes ive not buggered off yet, but nearer the time of moving I will do & that shouldnt be too long away.

Only put the house on the market yesterday & already weve had some tart want to see it today, To which ive been cleaning the house rapidly, Only to get a call a min ago saying she doesnt want to see it any more.

Anyway, It shouldnt be too long, We have to have this sorted before december or we'l lose out on the only house we can afford around here, Its a reposession so its cheaper.

i hate to say this guys, but the only mature response to all this arrived in my PM.. shame too cause i respect almost everyone in this thread...

let me just summarize this by saying, i dont FEEL people want to try, and fail... thats about all i can say, its the basis for all my words in this topic...

korn is one of my main reasons for continuing staying here, my words were not indeed to make him FEEL badly.. shame people put so much emphasis on FEEL..

as i said korn, my door is open if you need me.

Kornflakes move to Derby! You know it makes sense!

Gwil said:

Kornflakes move to Derby! You know it makes sense!

lol, It doesnt matter where u go tbh m8, houses are too expensive anywhere, Were lucky we got this one. The thing is my dad has to get a fair amount of the money we get from selling the house, so we cant just go and get an equally good house, We have to find something much cheaper.

east midlands is one of the cheapest regions in the country!! :biggrin:

Sod Derby you don't want to go to that s**thole :razz: you want to go to Mansfield in Notts (actualy I think it's the only Mansfiled in the country although there may me another one somewhere).

Good luck with it all mate I hope they get a quick divorce and dont drag it out for 6 years like mine I know there just doing it to piss the other one off.

heh, This isnt a recent divorce m8, My parents split up when I was 5 due to financial arguements amoung other things, We couldnt afford to live in london any more & so we moved to norfolk, Ive lived here for.. christ 14 years now I spus.

Orpheus said:
personally, i feel BOTH leps and docs view is way to damned narrow.. you might study this a bit more, before you disagree..

Obviously, because I know nothing and have a blinkered opinion having had my parents divorce when I was 8.

Korn, you'll cope just fine- I get the feeling your parents have been seperated for a while anyway? (edit: ah..) Plus you're at/near the age where you bugger off and do your own thing anyway, and can understand it all...

Orph, no offence, but your comments on this so far have been the most spectacularly stupid things I've read all day (and I often visit Fark). Parents staying together helps no-one- not the kid, or each other. People can and will go and start a new lifestyle and be happy yet still be a parent- if they can't do that, they deserve to be cast away anyway. I have the feeling your main disagreement with this is that you feel single-parent families leads to, well, "increased homosexuality" (which I think we know you're deeply against) perhaps- if that is the case, again I'd totally disagree with you again and say that, if anything, it would just make you a more lonely and/or loving person. And besides, anything rebellious kids will do anyway, and it depends on character and not that they lived with just one adult. Anyways...

lep, you are seriously close to crossing a line, that an apology won't fix..

there is no link, that i am aware of, between single family situations and homosexuality.. i am a hardcore anti-gay person and wouldn't deny that for all the friendships in the world, but you have approached a line of no return with that thought, even expressed in the hypothetical sense..

my ignorance, or intelligence is most definitely not up for debate, my viewpoint may vary from the snarkpit norm, BUT it by no means proves it incorrect..

i do not expect you to apologize, but i do fully expect you to remove that shaded comment about homo's its not only unfair, but way OTT..

i know many successful single parent families and many conventional ones too, but i do not know how you derived your thinking this time..

it only proves, that even you can go far astray, and i hesitate to say, but very stupid, for all your smarts.

that was wrong, and needs to be fixed.. very wrong.

Orpheus said:
i hate to say this guys, but the only mature response to all this arrived in my PM.. shame too cause i respect almost everyone in this thread...

let me just summarize this by saying, i dont FEEL people want to try, and fail... thats about all i can say, its the basis for all my words in this topic...

korn is one of my main reasons for continuing staying here, my words were not indeed to make him FEEL badly.. shame people put so much emphasis on FEEL..

as i said korn, my door is open if you need me.

i don't know what part of the red text you missed lep, but you better re-read it, you really-really need to fix your post..

my words seem pretty clear to me, IF you need further clarification, i will gladly provide it, but you were most definitely wrong..

Whilst I too think this discussion has hardly been Orph's finest moment, I don't see how homosexuality is relevant.

I mean come on Lep, surely you know that Orph has lots of different stupid beliefs, rather than just the one?

Gollum said:
Whilst I too think this discussion has hardly been Orph's finest moment, I don't see how homosexuality is relevant.

I mean come on Lep, surely you know that Orph has lots of different stupid beliefs, rather than just the one?

someday mike, i am going to shock you with a private message about ALL my stupid beliefs.. you won't like most of them, but i bet a few you will grasp.

still... i can confidently say, i have never been this disappointed in anyones reply before.. yeah, dangerously close to the line of no return..

i think, its a case of not being convincing in my ideals, more so than being wrong, i am 100% sure of what i am saying, you guys are just going astray of that point... somehow :sad:

let me say it once more for clarity.. i FEEL most people give up to soon and just quit, that cannot be beneficial to the children, i CAN foresee circumstances to where divorce is the only solution, but not nearly as many as you guys seem to indicate..

its got to be a generational gap thing cause, what you all seem to be implying is in many cases divorce is somehow beneficial to all involved, and i beg to differ.. it is a rare occasion when this is so..

now i do admit it does happen all to often, but i doubt it has become acceptable, not nearly as much as you guys say.

So much for your eternal vows...
Well, it does not matter anyway

Ooo-oo-oo-ooh the promises we make
The meaningless and empty words
We spoke

Cash Car Star said:
So much for your eternal vows...
Well, it does not matter anyway

Ooo-oo-oo-ooh the promises we make
The meaningless and empty words
We spoke

i took "till death do us part" very seriously :/

hmm.....my folks called it quits undert duress when i was ...mmm...19.

............all the rest is rhetorical bulls**t.... :heee:

Korny, youll be fine....... :smile: give em hell bud....and hurry back, i have textures to be tweeked/critiqued/tossed...

btw....i turned out just fine...er...fine...er...fine...err

Doc B...the dodgiest :dodgy:

oh yeah, btw again.....ive been heavily married since.....umm....christ was a corporal....25 and counting

Dr Brasso said:
oh yeah, btw again.....ive been heavily married since.....umm....christ was a corporal....25 and counting

i was 17 :sad:

and congrats doc, 25 years is something to be proud of, considering its a rarity nowadays..

Sept. 05 marked my 22 year :smile:

I have the feeling your main disagreement with this is that you feel single-parent families leads to, well, "increased homosexuality" (which I think we know you're deeply against) perhaps- if that is the case, again I'd totally disagree with you again and say that, if anything, it would just make you a more lonely and/or loving person

Okay, so maybe I was wrong about that. But I'm not apologising and not changing my words as I haven't done anything wrong or accused you of anything, and I'm perfectly entitled to voice my opinion like you.