Spring is in the air. Time for another STORY THREAD!

[color=lavender][color=lavender][color=magenta]Same basic rules as every other time Gents. Try HARD to keep the story plot going. Random replies will be IGNORED!!

[size=16]As far as composition goes, anything works. One words, or an entire paragraph is fine, as long as it continues the STORY!!!

[color=magenta]It is advisable to check after you have posted to ensure that two or more members did not post simultaneously. If this occurs, PLEASE edit your post to make it part of the previous reply. WHOMEVER replies first, has the priority. If your reply no longer fits, EDIT IT!! [/color][/color][/color][/color][/size]

and now, onward and upward as they say.

"Long long ago, perhaps as long ago as last week, in a forum across the ocean from the United states there was a..."

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The best things in life, aren't things.

forum-goer...

...man so troubled by the worlds misdemeanours, misjudgements and
wrongs, that he had took it upon himself to remedy the situation.
Whether such a feat was accomplishable was always in question, but he
persevered, starting with that little, yet important question that had always troubled him...

"Can I remedy anything by hanging around in a forum?"

Good question :razz:

Ignore this :/ ...

:biggrin:

"Can it really alter my misconceptions?" He asks himself repeatedly. Daily life without the forum seems on the surface to be a troublesome endeavor, but underneath that calm exterior is a deep pool of inquiry. Another question he sometimes ponders is....

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The best things in life, aren't things.

"If age is truly not a concern for joining forums, then why is it always a factor when corresponding?"

While pondering these many questions a few of the members act nonchalant about things like tussles between the divergent age issues. In the end, most of them act as if there is no age at all. Everyone is at some point, universally immature.

About this time in another forum a member postulates...

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The best things in life, aren't things.

..."If buttered toast lands face down, and cats land on their feet, if you tie the two together they will just hover." Subsequently, this proves the theory that at some point everyone is universally immature. This theory was dismissed by the first forum member who claimed...

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My site

"let's have a group discussion about ourselves in 3rd person to solve this!"

/ignore if dead end :razz:

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These words are my diaries screaming out loud

"Group discussions in the 3rd person" says Sigmund Freud, "is a simple disassociation of ones innermost aspects of self awareness on a level that is often seen in primates"

On most levels such deep thinking would cause an uproar of monumental explosiveness, but at the Snarkpit, its just another day.

Suddenly from the back row there came a clatter of dishes...

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The best things in life, aren't things.

A large fierce-looking cow armed with duel elites walked forth into the dusty room, with a silhouette of dust and light-rays outlining its figure. It made a hideous moo, and c**ked the Berreta's. Four shots later, and the man was lying on the floor, blood oozing out of his chest like water out of a spounge. But in the shadows, by the door, was the silhouette of a shape which looked like a large slice of toast.

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Hahaha! Im using the INTERNET!

A man walked by and saw that it was not The toast King, OR French Toast. It was Windows 98 in disguise. The impostor called the man a "n00b" and ran off. Then the man took...

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I tried sniffing coke, but the ice cubes kept getting stuck in my nose.
http://www.dimebowl.com

A careful look around him. What he saw took his breath away for all of a sudden there was a shout that said... "...

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The best things in life, aren't things.

"z0mg i hit u like 10 times noob" What dark and terrible place must this be? the man thought...

that perhaps indeed he had landed in the dark and vicious world of multiplayus onlinuss gamus. From
what he had read, MOG, was a world of intrigue, love and despair.
Perhaps, if he were to investigate further he could see the subcultures
of such a Byzantine system, wrapped in vendettas and constant "flame
wars". He had to turn to the backbone of this world - internet forums.

Skip it

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Elon Yariv

"Skip it" was a reply often associated within many flame wars since the inadequacies of some members was beyond reckoning. "Skip it" for a time became a general slogan until one day a certain member from Oregon arrived. The forum atmosphere was forever altered upon that glorious day. This member claimed that he was....

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The best things in life, aren't things.

"King of America" which was of course a complete rediculas statement, considering that America is not a monarchy. Reguardless, he struted in, wearing heavy leather boots and a bright red coat, and the forumgoers named him...

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Dark_Kilauea
DVS Administration
http://www.dvstudio-production.com/

.. "Santa Cruz", after the gift giving jolly man from California. Now this Cruz fella was a sensation from the start. He breezed in everyday spreading joy to all the good little boys and girls. Then there was this evil tyrant from..

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The best things in life, aren't things.

Canada. Just kidding, Canada is harmless. The tyrant was actually from Russia...

And his name was Igor Rasputin, or Igor the terrible. People hated him because he saved all his toenail clippings in jars and always showed them to people. he also loved farting on sleeping houseguests. So they finally got fed up with it and...

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I tried sniffing coke, but the ice cubes kept getting stuck in my nose.
http://www.dimebowl.com

...organized a 1vs1 deathmatch between Santa "the Beard" Cruz and Igor "the Sovjet" Rasputin, which had to be fought out in the community's favourite HL2 map:

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These words are my diaries screaming out loud

And the fight commenced, and Rasputin won by 84 frags, but the end was not near. When he thought he had won the day, Santa proclaimed "OMFG lol U HAX'D teh sev3r lol!!1111!!"

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Hahaha! Im using the INTERNET!

After all the male macho attitude had run its course Cruz and Rasputin went to a pub to talk over some of their more outlandish "luck" shots.

About this time in the back of Cruz's PC a sound issued from the power supply that...

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The best things in life, aren't things.

sounded rather like some sort of high explosive device had just been detonated. Needless to say, the computer was fried. Cruz, who was emotionally connected to his PC, felt it's pain in the pub, and cried out in agony whilst writhing on the ground. Rasputin slowly backed away...

..tripping over a drunk who had passed out recently.. (another title to post Duncan? recently passed out? )

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The best things in life, aren't things.

And reading about his computers death made Toast_King weep, for exactly the same death had reached his own PC. To end his misery he...

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Hahaha! Im using the INTERNET!

Threw his computer out his 30th floor window, so he would never have to
look at it and remember such terrible times. Coincidentaly, on
the sidewalk right below the 30th floor window of an apartment
building, a shadow appeared over...

A little man called Michael Jackson. His long fingers which itching to do some good fondling, but alas, to the world's dissapointment, it didnt hit him. Michael went to the very room where the depressed man was weeping and...

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Hahaha! Im using the INTERNET!

said to the man 'why are you weeping. The world is a wonderful place...

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'Tonight, we dine in hell! I hear the buffet there is to DIE for' - Leonidas I

Then the man replied "^_^"

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Hahaha! Im using the INTERNET!

To which Micheal said "-.-"

That conversation went effectively nowhere, but just across the road
were two ordinary people. THey were the kind of people to which
nothing extraordinary happened, they went to work, payed their taxes,
and watched the Price is Right.

So let's forget about the details of their mundane lives and instead follow Ed Gruberman, an aspiring...

...baker from south Germany. The man had a horrible, horrible secret. IT just happened that Ed was also a psychic commander of an army of genetically engineered German leprechauns. One beautiful spring day, Ed woke up with a start to see...

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The Plane, my ongoing HL2 comic.

...his leptechauns attacking to Snark-Life Pub.

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Hahaha! Im using the INTERNET!

Jack was just having his SnarkSpecial c**ktail and the ruccus started
to piss him off. "Time to smoke some nuublings."- he said and whipped
out his trusty ol' AK.

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''Everyone wades in s**t until they're competent enough to walk on it. Jesus style.''
Dystopia - Empires

But he was so angry that with the force of his wipping out the weapon,
the barrel flew right off and impaled a moose nearby. Police who
were attempting to reduce the amount of illegal moose hunting that was
occuring, took a break from feeding peaches to old people and ran to
the scene. Gruberman saw them coming, he needed to think fast...