No Speaka de English

No Speaka de English

Re: No Speaka de English Posted by G4MER on Thu Nov 3rd 2005 at 12:07am
G4MER
2460 posts
Posted 2005-11-03 12:07am
G4MER
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A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.

The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention
is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:

"Emma comefirst. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come
once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee
twice. Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul-mouthed, sex-obsessed swine," retorted the lady
indignantly. "In this country....we don't speak aloud in public places
about our sex lives."

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abou ta sex? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell Mississippi'."

I BET YOU READ THIS AGAIN!!!
Re: No Speaka de English Posted by Biological Component on Thu Nov 3rd 2005 at 12:43am
Posted 2005-11-03 12:43am
500 posts 90 snarkmarks Registered: Apr 7th 2004 Location: USA
I redda tha ta twice indeed
Re: No Speaka de English Posted by asterix_vader on Thu Nov 3rd 2005 at 12:44am
asterix_vader
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Posted 2005-11-03 12:44am
494 posts 49 snarkmarks Registered: Aug 29th 2003 Occupation: Trying to find one Location: Peru
:lol: rofl

yes i read it again!! i had to
Re: No Speaka de English Posted by Madedog on Thu Nov 3rd 2005 at 1:14am
Madedog
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Posted 2005-11-03 1:14am
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lmaonade :biggrin:

I laughed myself dead for this talk :biggrin:
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Re: No Speaka de English Posted by French Toast on Thu Nov 3rd 2005 at 1:31am
French Toast
3043 posts
Posted 2005-11-03 1:31am
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Hahaha, lollerskates. Kick ass :biggrin:

I had to read three times... shut up.
Re: No Speaka de English Posted by Foxpup on Thu Nov 3rd 2005 at 4:43am
Foxpup
380 posts
Posted 2005-11-03 4:43am
Foxpup
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I read it once, because I can actually remember what I just said.
Better to be in denial than to be human.

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Re: No Speaka de English Posted by rs6 on Thu Nov 3rd 2005 at 5:21am
rs6
640 posts
Posted 2005-11-03 5:21am
rs6
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Nice.
Re: No Speaka de English Posted by asterix_vader on Thu Nov 3rd 2005 at 5:33am
asterix_vader
494 posts
Posted 2005-11-03 5:33am
494 posts 49 snarkmarks Registered: Aug 29th 2003 Occupation: Trying to find one Location: Peru
Foxpup said:
I read it once, because I can actually remember what I just said.
...too smart to be true
Re: No Speaka de English Posted by MisterBister on Thu Nov 3rd 2005 at 8:16am
MisterBister
277 posts
Posted 2005-11-03 8:16am
277 posts 78 snarkmarks Registered: Oct 17th 2004 Occupation: studying Location: SWEDEN
Hahahahahahaha!

Had to read it a few times before i got it.
Re: No Speaka de English Posted by Windows 98 on Thu Nov 3rd 2005 at 11:43am
Windows 98
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Posted 2005-11-03 11:43am
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I got it on the second time. But if I kept in mind what he was saying I'm sure I would've got it the first time.
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Re: No Speaka de English Posted by Andrei on Thu Nov 3rd 2005 at 1:44pm
Andrei
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Posted 2005-11-03 1:44pm
Andrei
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Reminds me of "the italian man who went to Malta" thing. You know,

-"I wanna fock.
  • We all want to f**k.
  • No you no understand I wanna fock on the table.
  • You better not f**k on my table you son of a bitch."
Re: No Speaka de English Posted by OtZman on Thu Nov 3rd 2005 at 1:46pm
OtZman
1890 posts
Posted 2005-11-03 1:46pm
OtZman
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Nice one, was this an actually conversation or made up?
What the Snarkpitters listen to!
Re: No Speaka de English Posted by G4MER on Thu Nov 3rd 2005 at 2:34pm
G4MER
2460 posts
Posted 2005-11-03 2:34pm
G4MER
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Just a joke my aunt sent me.
Re: No Speaka de English Posted by French Toast on Thu Nov 3rd 2005 at 9:41pm
French Toast
3043 posts
Posted 2005-11-03 9:41pm
3043 posts 304 snarkmarks Registered: Jan 16th 2005 Occupation: Kicking Ass Location: Canada
I think it's fairly obviously made up. If someone is telling someone else how to spell, that's not how yo udo it.

"Hey Frenchy, how do you spell 'the'"?

"Well, the T comes first, then the H, and finally, at the end, you're goign to have an E."
Re: No Speaka de English Posted by pepper on Thu Nov 3rd 2005 at 9:50pm
pepper
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Posted 2005-11-03 9:50pm
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Really, makes perfect sense to me :grenade:
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Re: No Speaka de English Posted by Gaara on Fri Nov 4th 2005 at 9:41am
Gaara
219 posts
Posted 2005-11-04 9:41am
Gaara
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One day ima gonna America to bigga hotel.

Inna morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I wanna two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna to piss onna my plate. She say you better no piss onna plate you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch.

Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table you sonna ma bitch.

So I go back to my room inna hotel and there is no s**ts onna my bed. Call the manager and tella him I wanna s**t. He tell me to go to toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna s**t onna my bed. He say you better not s**t onna bed, you sonna ma bitch.

I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: 'Peace on you.'
I say piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch, I gonna back to Italy.
Reckless disregard for childrens well being, women and nothing but utter contempt for other cultures.