Alright, this is a simple forum game im going to try out here and see how you like it.

Basically, ill start off the topic wishing for something

eg. I wish i had a dog

Then the one who posts next get grant the wish, but corrupt it to make it bad.

eg. Granted, but the dog has rabies and mauls you

in addition the person then makes their own wish and so on and so forth.
Ill start us off here.

An Example of this is at:

http://www.twhl.co.za/forums.php?action=viewthread&pg=1&id=12558

I begin:

I wish I could eat some cheese.

Eh, i'll give it a shot.

But the cheese is stale limburger cheese.

<span style="color: gray;">

And now for my wish:

I wish Bush stayed in office years to come.

</span>

But you know damn well that Bush would/will imprison you for thinking.

I wish the Dali Lama knew Shinto kung fu.

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Also change the texture of the dock. Docks are rarely tile. -Facepunch
As I Lay Dying

He'll die before then

I wish i knew what the hell Shinto kung fu is

/me goes to Wikipedia

You find out by getting your butt kicked by a 5-year-old.

I wish I would get caught up on my homework.

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I tried sniffing coke, but the ice cubes kept getting stuck in my nose.
http://www.dimebowl.com

You do, by getting expelled from your school

I wish my headache would stop

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Signature? What signature!?

It does, but then you're drunk again.

I wish people would stop watching TV so damn much and start thinking and having deep meaningful conversations with eachother.

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o

They do, but they get bored with arguing on the internet and start threads like this :wink:

I wish I had a computer I could use sitting on the toilet...

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"If you talk at all during this lesson, you have detention. Do you understand?"

• My yr11 Economics teacher

Yes, but you accidently s**t on it and damage something.

I wish my sickness went away.

It does, but then you get hit by a truck and are paralyzed from the neck down for the rest of your life.

I wish coffee had more caffiene in it.

EDIT: Nice thread high five
And completely OT, but I wholeheartedly disagree with your signature Jimmi.

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o

Necafe creates a super caffinated blend and you die oF a heart attack.

I wish the DS browser supported flash.

You misunderstand a press release stating that the browser now supports Flashbang grenades. you blow up.

I wish my car worked...

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I tried sniffing coke, but the ice cubes kept getting stuck in my nose.
http://www.dimebowl.com

only to get get it working to have it taken away and replaced with this:

http://www.ahajokes.com/cartoon/0810.jpg

From your future/present wife

I wish I could understand physics.

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Posting And You

You do, but realise you have no idea how to express what you've understood.

I wish my CD-Rom worked.

It will, but the rest of your computer will blow apart.

I wish the local Kebab stand was open.

Wish granted, but when the vendor hands you your food he looks at you funny, in a way that probably means he did something gross to your kebab. You eat it anyway.

I wish the clock would slow the f**k down and let me get the 12 hours of sleep I need before 9 o'clock (3 hours from now).

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o

It does, but in the process breaks the space-time continuum and thus destroys the universe.

I wish I could stop it from being so freaking hot here!

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SourDough2.0 - With Strawberry Jam

It does, but it gets so cold you die of hypothermia.

I wish I understood what this meant:

"And completely OT, but I wholeheartedly disagree with your signature Jimmi."

You will understand, but it will be too late and the bear will shoot you anyway.

I wish I was a hunter in search of different food.

You are, but that different food turns out to be tofu.

I wish I could play real-life pacman.

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Also change the texture of the dock. Docks are rarely tile. -Facepunch
As I Lay Dying

Wish granted, but you die right after you realize that you are a giant, yellow, decapitated head and your body is missing. Plus the white dots turn out to be semen and the cherries are plastic.

I wish for sunny weather tomorrow.

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I tried sniffing coke, but the ice cubes kept getting stuck in my nose.
http://www.dimebowl.com

You get diagnosed with terminal skin cancer.

I wish for world peace and enlightenment.

Hunting tofu, best thing to come along since watching grass grow.

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o

Wish granted, but the next day the earth is consumed by grey goo.

I wish I was the animal which fits into that mood.

You are, but you die from feline aids.

I wish I had a large penis.

Wish granted, but then you meet Lorena Bobbit, and suffer the same 'injury' that her husband did, surgery fails.
(Still get a chill down my back when I hear that name)

I wish I could be Invisible.

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SourDough2.0 - With Strawberry Jam

wish granted, but you get a depression from the solitude.

i wish i could combine my job with going out during weekdays

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These words are my diaries screaming out loud

You do, but a rival pimp takes you out.

I wish the Snark Pit had more emoticons.

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Also change the texture of the dock. Docks are rarely tile. -Facepunch
As I Lay Dying

Wish Granted The Snarkpit Gets over 70000000 More Emoticons when the page loads your computer explodes then you explode

I wish i had a snowmobile (only 200 on craigslist f**k)

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Why Do we all have to wear these ridiculous ties

you get one for christmas but it's a powerwheels equivilant from walmart

i wish that guy would quit talking about halo

He Does but bungie busts into your house and shoots you They end up completely missing and you end up sueing in court and winning millions the next day you get hit by a icecream truck

I wish i was better at quake

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Why Do we all have to wear these ridiculous ties

You become superleet at Quake... unfortunately you are no longer able to play it because of the EMP that just detonated

I wish Bungie would stop ignoring the PC market

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Signature? What signature!?

Bungie will buy the whole PC market, making Half-Life 3 only controllable with joystick or a gamepad.

I wish it wasn't so f**king cold.

Granted, it's not f**king cold, but it's still cold.

I wish I could go to Germany.

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I tried sniffing coke, but the ice cubes kept getting stuck in my nose.
http://www.dimebowl.com

you get the chance but on the way over you plane is shot down and you're stranded on an island with only a disgustingly fat chick to keep you company, and she digs you

i wish i had high speed internet

You get one, but it goes so fast it travels back in time, taking you to a time before electrical outlets, routers, or even phone jacks. Mwuhahahah!!

I wish Modest Mouse tickets cost less.

---

Also change the texture of the dock. Docks are rarely tile. -Facepunch
As I Lay Dying

They do, but the cops interrupt the concert and arrest the band for masturbating in public.

I wish I could live in Italy.

Granted, but your neighbor is a well-known Mafioso. One day he asks you for a favour.

I wish, I could afford a Mac Book Pro...

Granted, but it will force you to use itunes for every trivial task.

I wish I had a rubber chicken called Ned.

Granted, but it is acually a "rubber" (Ie, condom) in the design of a chicken.

I wish I didnt have exams coming up.

You may. And you might. but you never get the chance, because you die.

I wish I could meet Cartman

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I tried sniffing coke, but the ice cubes kept getting stuck in my nose.
http://www.dimebowl.com

Granted, but they're already over. You failed.

@Kain
Isaac Brock would never do that!!...I'm not as sure about the other band members, though.

I wish I may, I wish I might.

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Also change the texture of the dock. Docks are rarely tile. -Facepunch
As I Lay Dying

Pwned, Nickel!

---

Also change the texture of the dock. Docks are rarely tile. -Facepunch
As I Lay Dying

You meet Cartman, but he doesn't like you and has you escorted from the building... and beaten up.

I wish I could make people's muscles explode with pressure points.

---

o

granted, the next time you squeeze someone's pressure point every muscle in your body explodes

I wish i could get a full ride to college

You do, to McDonald's University.

I wish the next gen computers and games would come out already.

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Also change the texture of the dock. Docks are rarely tile. -Facepunch
As I Lay Dying

Will come out tomorrow. But the games only consist of a single room, an MP5 and terrorists.

I wish I'd win the lottery.

You win, but you realise the lottery wasnt for money...you won yourself a ticket to a gay strip club. :biggrin:

I wish that I didnt have to do 2 hours of athletics every day. (Running long distance all the time, with a merciless trainer)

You don't have to run any more, but the internet sucks you in, and after countless hundreds of hours on internet forums you're fat, pale, cynical, elitest, and so addicted to crazy fetish porn that you get a tattoo of a certain image that rhymes with "boatse" on your chest.

I wish I didn't have to wait 3-7 days for my iCEMAT Siberia headset to get here. =/

EDIT: and you get AIDS from the tattoo needle.

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o

You get it in 3 seconds, but then someone sets you on fire and pushes you off of a cliff.

I wish for some snow!

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I tried sniffing coke, but the ice cubes kept getting stuck in my nose.
http://www.dimebowl.com

You get it, http://www.blueyonder.com/deep/images/snowed-in.jpg

I wish I got a scholarship to USC.

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Also change the texture of the dock. Docks are rarely tile. -Facepunch
As I Lay Dying