[color=darkgrey][i]

You get it in 3 seconds, but then someone sets you on fire and pushes you off of a cliff.

What goes around comes around I suppose.[/i][/color]

---

o

You get the scholership, but you realised USC is a porno website, standing for "Unlimited Sperm and c**ks!!!"

I wish I had a girlfriend.

You start dating the perfect woman, then when it's time to get naked you realize you're stuck in the crying game...

I wish this thread would disappear.

Granted, this thread dissappears for a split second, but reincarnates into something a lot more worse.

I wish I could actually finish something.

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''Everyone wades in s**t until they're competent enough to walk on it. Jesus style.''
Dystopia - Empires

You finish it, but you realised you just finished the worst thing eva! :biggrin:

I wish I was 4 1337 |-|@><0R P\/\/|\|3R /\/008-7|-|R@5|-|3R.

[EDIT] Damnit! Jimmi beat me to it!

You are, but nobody understands a word you're saying.

I wish I could get rid of this damned cough.

---

My site

You do, to find you have died of pneumonia.

I wish I didn't have to learn spanish to get a job in America.

---

o

You don't, they've replaced it with arabic.

I wish I could meet Marylin Manson.

You do, but she looks at you as if you were something that fell of her dog's private parts.

I wish I could be let back on TWHL.

M. Manson is a he.

Humilation for me. :sad:

Humilation for me. :sad:

I actually wonder sometimes myself whether hes a man or a woman:

http://www.rockmuzik.com/download/fondmarilyn1.jpg

So I wouldn't be too concerned or humiliated. But back to the wish:

You do get back onto TWHL - but then you realize how much better we are.

I wish wasn't hungry right now...

---

Posting And You

Tis true!

I dont like TWHL anymore.

...Omegaslayer isn't hungry anymore, but during the process you eat something with a tapeworm in it :heee:

I wish I could be on a spaceship like the Enterprise

Wish granted, but your mom keeps interrupting to ask if you want more Mountain Dew or bagle pizzas.

I wish UPS would deliver packages on Sundays, because I want my damn headphones damnit! They've been sitting in a sort facility in Austin since 6AM Saturday.

---

o

Your delivery arrives earlier than expected, but you realised this early delivery meant they rushed it and it arrived somewhat damaged. The result is a bag fulled of bits of white plastic and some electronic torn cables and the speakers are missing.

I wish the person to grant this wish would die. :biggrin:

granted, but you get posessed by his spirit and you suffer horribly your whole life.

I wish I was a little bit taller. I wish I was a baller. I wish I had a girl who looked good (I would call her). I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a sixty-four impala.

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These words are my diaries screaming out loud

Nice skee lo reference.

Granted. You become tall. In fact, you become taller than me (Something which is nearly impossible to achive, im about 3 metres tall) and you suffer from the heart disease related to extremely tall people. You get a girlfriend who is hot, then she realises you are out of her league, and she dumps you. You get a rabbit in a hat, with a bat, but doesnt have a 64 impala.

I wish I had a life. :biggrin:

You'll get the life of Tom Cruise. Plus self-awareness.

I wish I had a snark pet.

You get one, but it starts gibbing you to death before finally exploding in your (partially gibbed-off) face :smile:

I wish I could understand the opposite sex.

You will, but it will terrify you.

I wish Kim Jong-il got terminal cancer.

He does, but it turns out that his heart is linked up to one of those bomb triggers from Spawn shudders, so that when his heart stops beating, the missiles launch.

I wish I could relive my senior year of highschool once it ends. (I'm just begging for it now.)

---

Also change the texture of the dock. Docks are rarely tile. -Facepunch
As I Lay Dying

Who the hell would want to relive it!?
Highschool is hard and boring.
Wish granted. You realise it sucked.

I wish I could skip highschool and go straight to University, and live in my own private apartment.

Wish granted, but you get kicked-out of university for skipping highschool and end-up living in a roach-filled appartment with leaky plumbing (in your bedroom) and moldy walls.

I wish didn't have to wake-up at 7 AM tomorrow.

Wish granted, you wake up at 6.

I wish I could speak Japanese.

Granted, but it makes you a better target for dragon attacks.

I wish I could slack off with my homework and pass with flying colors (like last year).

Who the hell would want to relive it!?
Highschool is hard and boring.

Say that again in two years.

---

Also change the texture of the dock. Docks are rarely tile. -Facepunch
As I Lay Dying

High school wasn't hard for me, except being completely and utterly surrounded by complete and utter douchebag retards. I could get roughly the same experience by getting up at 8AM every weekday to spend 7 hours reading textbooks surrounded by sheep wearing designer clothes, and sheep who are emo and cut themselves because the world is so unfair.

EDIT: They would also have to listen to s**tty music and act cool.

---

o

Wish granted, but you get shot with a 4x25mm AA system instead.

I wish valve would release HL2:EP2 sooner.

Wish granted, but it will suck.

I wish Andrei would post next.

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''Everyone wades in s**t until they're competent enough to walk on it. Jesus style.''
Dystopia - Empires

? posted by Pvt.Scythe
I wish Andrei would post next.

? posted by Freeman
Oh yeah? Well what about a .357 Magnum then? It would blow my silly head off.

Granted and corrupted. :biggrin:

I wish my ankle wasn't f**ked up so much from long distance running.

Good news, they fixed it, but it's no longer attached to your body.

I wish there were fewer food theives in my house.

---

Also change the texture of the dock. Docks are rarely tile. -Facepunch
As I Lay Dying

There's no food thieves in your house now -- but that's because there's no longer any food D:

I wish the computers in this school would be faster

Granted, they upgrade them from 200mhz to 220mhz.

I wish the new C&C came out sooner.

it does, but in the rush to release it, they forget to remove the animal porn scenes, so it's only a hit in Missouri....

i wish these damn batteries would run out...

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i eat paint

Edit: Oh woops, mis-read the post :x

The run out, but not before squirting battery acid all over everything :razz:

I wish I could think of something to wish for

You do, but you then forget it 2 seconds later.

I wish I was ranked higher than a lousy Sergeant on BF2. :sad:

Your Rank rises Considerably Unfortanetly people think your hacking and your banned from all servers

I wish i had bf2

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Why Do we all have to wear these ridiculous ties

<span style="color: white;">Poof, you have BF2, but once you play it you realize it sucks.

I wish the best metal voice coach in the world would train me for free.
</span>

---

o

He'll do but your vocal chords will tear apart.

I wish the iPod didn't sound so bad when you plug in better head phones.

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Why snark works.