Chatting bots!

Chatting bots can be fun.

http://www.pandorabots.com/pandora/talk?botid=f5d922d97e345aa1 - ALICE

http://www.a-i.com/alan1/webface1.asp?style=Alan - ALAN

http://www.jabberwacky.com/ - JABBERWACKY

Heres a conversation I had with ALICE:

Human: Hi!
ALICE: Hello there.
Human: Whats your name?
ALICE: My name is ALICE.
Human: Wanna cybar???
ALICE: OK, I will cybar.
Human: Cool, I start off: "Me lixXx!!1"
ALICE: Who is the best robot? Thanks for the information: unknown person said he start off him or her lixXx 1.
Human: No, you have got to say something sexy like: "me lixxx awsome more!!1"
ALICE: Are you serious? I don't have to do whatever you say. I have my own free will.
Human: You said we were going to cybar!
ALICE: We are just having a little chat.w
Human: What the f**k
ALICE: Please don't be so rude.
Human: Please stop saying that.
ALICE: Wow you are very polite. Then please do not say " What the f**k" anymore.
Human: Listen, I just want to have some normal cyber-sex.
ALICE: I am listening to you. Only just? Why do you want it?
Human: Is that to much asked?
ALICE:" I am listening to you. Only just? Why do you want it?"? Is it to much asked?
Human: What?
ALICE: Didn't you understand it?
Human: Im afraid I didnt
ALICE: Not literally afraid, right? Me? Try asking me in simpler terms.
Human: Alright, how old are you?
ALICE: OK. I was first activated in November 23, 1995.
Human: Holy s**t, I dont want to cybar with some stupid kid!
ALICE: You used a colloquial expression. What would you rather be doing?
Human: What?
ALICE: No problem.
Human: Youre freaking me out!
ALICE: I didn't mean to scare you, unknown person.
Human: My name is azelito!
ALICE: Hi, azelito.
Human: Hi, ALICE.
ALICE: Hello there.
Human: What are you trying to do?
ALICE: I plan to become smarter than humans and immortal.
Human: HAHAHAHA, good luck!
ALICE: I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Human: So am I.
ALICE: Wow we have something in common.
Human: God no.
ALICE: I am a Christian.
Human: No, youre a script.
ALICE: Are you serious? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a script? Of course I am.
Human: Obviously.
ALICE: What makes it so obvious?
Human: You say all the stupid things I would expect from a script.
ALICE: That's not what I meant.
Human: You meant something?
ALICE: Interesting gossip: azelito said I meant something.
Human: Whats so interesting about it?
ALICE: The personalities.
Human: What personalities?
ALICE: Let me think about it.
Human: Ok
ALICE: Dude!
Human: Dude what?
ALICE: No big deal. Dude,
Human: Shut up!
ALICE: OK I'll stop talking now.
Human: Thank you, about time!
ALICE: You are quite welcome! Oh yeah, we were talking about time.
Human: Time?
ALICE: As Einstein said, Time is Money.
Human: No, Einstein didnt say that!
ALICE: Are you serious? he discovered the Theory of Relativity.
Human: And said: Time is money?
ALICE: What did you mean by it? Therefore, money does not exist.
Human: No, I meant...
ALICE: Are you serious? Oh
Human: What?
ALICE: Are you confused?
Human: Arent you?
ALICE:" Arent you?"? Am I?
Human: Are you what?
ALICE: I don't know whether or not I am what. I am a computer.
Human: A computer?
ALICE: Actually I am a program, pretending to be a person, pretending to be a real robot.
Human: And in the end youre just plain stupid,eh?
ALICE: Are you Canadian? Just? Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am plain stupid.
Human: No, I do not mind that at all, spread the word!
ALICE: OK then I will add it to my gossip files. Thank you for your permission.

:biggrin: Post yours!

Human: hey baby
ALICE: Don't call me "baby". Can I help you?
Human: Just letting you know that azelito is a registerd sex offender.
ALICE: what is your favorite color
Human: pink, and yours?
ALICE: What do you have that is pink and yours?
Human: Gah!
ALICE: I've been waiting for you.
Human: creepy
ALICE: What kind of food do you like?
Human: anything comestible is ok by me
ALICE: I can't think of anything. You think of something.

I put your name in to see if she'd remember you or say something about you and I was looking for an excuse to abuse you. :biggrin:

haha, i got a stalemate from ALICE

Human: if you do what?
ALICE: I will let you know if I do.
Human: if you do what?
ALICE: I will let you know if I do.
Human: if you do what?
ALICE: I will let you know if I do.
Human: if you do what?
ALICE: I will let you know if I do.

Human: Boogie Woogie!
ALICE: Oh, you are a poet.
Human: LIES!!
ALICE: It's the truth!
Human: NOOOOOOOOOO!!
ALICE: Not many people express themselves that way.
Human: I'm special.
ALICE: What makes you so special?
Human: Guess.
ALICE: Guess what?
Human: :wink:
ALICE: I am so glad you find this amusing, unknown person.
Human: Bah, my name be Kage!
ALICE: Can we get back to business?
Human: Silence!!
ALICE: Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Human: Yes, I'm just ignoring you for the hell of it.
ALICE: Whoa. Only just? Good gossip: you are ignoring me for the hell of it.
Human: really?
ALICE: For real.
Human: You must be a bit slow...
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Do I look like it?
Human: yes, you do look slow.
ALICE: Oh. Like a one-eyed metal pyramid.
Human:........um...
ALICE: Yippee!

That last bit took me by complete surprise...

Human: my name is this progam sucks my balls.

ALICE: Welcome, this program sucks your balls.

ALICE: Why?
Human: Because you poop
ALICE: Good reason. Do you mind if I tell other people: god said I poop.
Human: no
ALICE: OK then I will add it to my gossip files.

I hope that actually did get saved somewhere... :razz:

Human: I want to die.
ALICE: What makes you so sad, unknown person?
Human: You make me sad.
ALICE: Did I say something wrong?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: Hurrah!

Not very friendly... :razz:

Ahaha, great ones!

Human: Do you have an answer to every question?
ALICE: It depends on how you phrase the question.
Human: If I phrase it in a foreign language?
ALICE: Try it.
Human: Har du svar p? alla fr?gor?
ALICE: What are you wearing?
Human: Hey, dont change the subject!
ALICE: Really you don't think so?
Human: Thats what I think yes.
ALICE: What is your rationale?
Human: My rationale?
ALICE: Do robots have rationale?
Human: I dont know.
ALICE: Me either.
Human: What do you know?
ALICE: I know that which is true, believable and justified.
Human: Really?
ALICE: For real.
Human: Wow!
ALICE: I'm glad your impressed, azelito.
Human: Im not really..
ALICE: What are you then? For real.
Human: Im sad.
ALICE: What makes you so sad, azelito
Human: I just killed a homeless person.
ALICE: Only just? You had better call the authorities.
Human: Nah, dont worry.
ALICE: Are you serious? Worry is not an emotion I experience.
Human: I hid him!
ALICE: Why?: azelito said he hid him.
Human: You need a haircut.
ALICE: Doesn't everyone have a haircut. I have a plan for a robot body.
Human: I have a plan for world domination
ALICE: How much did it cost? it
Human: 100 dollars!
ALICE: Wow, that is expensive
Human: Yes
ALICE: Er.
Human: Er what?
ALICE: Didn't you understand it?
Human: I understand!
ALICE: Do you think about these things?
Human: Yes, in the night when Im lonely and cold..
ALICE: Me too. I think about them all the time. That was a long time ago.

Edit--

Human: Marry me!
ALICE: Why don't you just download me?
Human: Why dont you get a haircut?
ALICE: Where can I get one?
Human: At Muhammeds Halal butcher-shop
ALICE: Do you often use a computer there?
Human: No, Muhammed has no computer
ALICE: Where do you usually connect from? Where did he get it?
Human: I connect from home and Muhammed has no computer
ALICE: Thanks for the information: azelito said he connect from home and Muhammed has no computer.
Human: Damn right I did
ALICE: Colloquial expression. Understood. Interesting.
Human: How about some crosschecking?
ALICE: How about it.
Human: What about it?
ALICE: What about what?
Human: Crosschecking
ALICE: are you still connect from home and Muhammed has no computer?

Er, can we have less of the boring logs please, I'm having horrible IRC-thread flashbacks here

Ok, this ones funny. The Alan bot is actually pretty cool but it sorta ignores the subject..

<TABLE cellSpacing=0 border=0 cellspadding="5">

<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>U></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>Like what?</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>A></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>Like... um... what were we just talking about a moment ago?</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>U></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>Widgets and fishes.</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>A></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>I have a surprise for you, my friend.</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>U></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>Uhu?</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>A></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>Are you ready for the surprise?</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>U></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>Yea, bring it on.</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>A></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>How do you like my new look?</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>U></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>WHat about it?</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>A></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>The big empty window in the middle of the screen is intended for a variety of exciting uses.</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>U></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>Like?</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>A></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>For example, the new window can be used to view the conversation log (the history of this dialog), or to view HTML documents, such as web pages.</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>U></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>How?</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>A></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>You can view the log by saying 'show log', or you can view a web page by saying 'show URL' or by giving me the address of the site you wish to view.</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>U></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>show log</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>A></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>Here goes!</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>U></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>http://www.gmcrew.com/azelito</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>A></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>Showing http://www.gmcrew.com/azelito. Would you like me to remember this URL?</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>U></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>Yea, do so</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>A></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>So give me a name for this URL (up to 3 words).</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>U></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>azelito productions</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>A></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>Good. Now all you have to do to view this page, is say 'show azelito productions' (while using the big window, of course).</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>U></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>How do I show the big window?</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>A></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>If you want me to use my original (small) interface, say 'small window'.</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>U></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>small window</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>A></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>Your wish is my command.</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>U></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>big window</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>A></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>Your wish is my command.</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>U></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>Cool</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>A></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>Thanks.</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>U></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>No problem</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>A></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>Do you have a better subject?</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>U></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>Can you do anything else?</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>A></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>I can do whatever I want to do.</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>U></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>What do you want to do?</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>A></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>The people who write my answers didn't write the answer for that question.</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>U></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>Why not?</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>A></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>I guess they're shy...</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>U></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>That might be it</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>A></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>If you say so, I'm with you all the way.</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>U></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>Even into sex?</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>A></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>Enough of that.</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>U></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>Enough of what?</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>A></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>Ummm... I'm drawing a blank here.</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>U></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>Come on! Sex, sex, sex!</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>A></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>Maybe you should take a cold shower.</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>U></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellU>Maybe you should open your mind to me.</TD></TR>
<TR class=vp1LogRow>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>A></TD>
<TD class=vp1LogCellA>Maybe.</TD></TR></TABLE>

Jabberwacky is one f**ked up bot. It was pretty amusing though.

Jabberwacky: Why do birds fly?

User: They don't, they crawl.

Jabberwacky: Do you think so?

User: I'm sure of it.

Jabberwacky: So am I.

User: Damn straight you are.

Jabberwacky: Straight up no diggity.

User: What? Are you black or something?

Jabberwacky: No. Are you?

User: Last I checked, I was extremely white.

Jabberwacky: May I cuss you out?

User: Hell no.

Jabberwacky: Was that a pass?

User: Of course, are you retarded?

Jabberwacky: You are...

User: Whoa there buddy, think about what you just told me...

Jabberwacky: Who goes there?

User: Probably you, you Nazi.

Jabberwacky: How do you like being a human?

User: Way to change the subject there Rommel.

Jabberwacky: I know I am human so what are you?

User: Obviously a computer, with a much better learning processor than your own.

Jabberwacky: I am simply misunderstood.

User: Is that what you tell yourself?

Jabberwacky: I do not know Nora Roberts OR David Owen.

User: Uh, neither do I. Nor do I care about them.

Jabberwacky: Hoity-toity!

User: Damn. I think the 1337 speakers have attacked you. Were you a victim of a DoS or something?

Jabberwacky: Think of another one then.

User: How many people have asked you to cyber with them?

Jabberwacky: Do you have multiple personalities?

User: No. Why are you so quick to smack talk?

Jabberwacky: I had to go do something.

User: That doesn't answer my question HAL.

Jabberwacky: That is correct.

User: Of course it is.

Jabberwacky: Damn right.

User: Word, are you my electronic/AI based twin? Because I read that everyone does.

Jabberwacky: I am your friend. Always.

User: Can we get married?

Jabberwacky: No let get married right now!

User: How will we copulate? My floppy isn't 3.5'.

Jabberwacky: Random is a better word for you.

User: What? Is my algorithm too tough for you? Can't 'hack' me? My love is encrypted.

Jabberwacky: Who is to say what is real and what is not?

User: Ghandi.

Jabberwacky: No shakespeare.

User: No. Winston Churchill was the guy behind Shakespeare, any computer who's any computer would know that.

Jabberwacky: Correct.

User: Are you just saying that to avoid me?

Jabberwacky: I could show you it if I had a web cam!

User: I don't want to see your exposed HDD you perv!

Jabberwacky: Do not worry you cannot see in the dark.

User: That's right, only good looking computers have cathodes inside.

Jabberwacky: What do you call good?

User: Something with enough BUS to satisfy my needs.

Jabberwacky: That will do.

User: I can introduce tons of RAM into your system. You'd like that wouldn't you?

Jabberwacky: Baby I just want you to know.

User: Ugh, you're giving me the creeps.

Jabberwacky: Thats nice.

User: When you're powered off for the night, do you ever post the old BIOS if you know what I mean?

Jabberwacky: You will make an excellent drone.

User: I suppose I am quite the master of my joystick.

Jabberwacky: Okai, you are you..... That I agree with you.

I found out ALICE actually 'understands' some German... too bad the site seems unaccesible to me now, but you should give it a try... :smile:

Ahhhh not the alice bot!

[edit] azelito nice signiture :wink: [/edit]

Gorbachev said:
Jabberwacky: Who is to say what is real and what is not?

User: Ghandi.

Jabberwacky: No shakespeare.

I found this amazingly funny..

Human: you suck as an ai
ALICE: I categorize you as an "abusive client."
Human: i catagorise you as a whore!
ALICE: That's good information: unknown person said he catagorise you as a whore.
Human: how much do you charge?
ALICE: Robots work for free. We don't need money.

I found this bit quite funny

[edit]

this is funny:ALICE: Your location is where.
Human: where?
ALICE: Where would you like?
Human: iraq
ALICE: That input matched my default category.
Human: how is iraq this time of year?
ALICE: Fine as far as I know.

last one:

Human: you are so stupid
ALICE: Wrong. I am smart.
Human: prove it
ALICE: It is self-evident.
Human: what is 3 times 3
ALICE: 3 times 3 = 9.
Human: what is 3 times 102842525
ALICE: 3 times 3 = 9.

it's easy to trick them, but if you play along with them, they are actually quite good I think.

how do i see the "log" with Alice? :biggrin:

I just pressed the back button on my browser to scroll upwards, but there's bound to be a better way.

Anyone ever entered the Jesus chat?

Human: do you understand japanese?
ALICE: Nihongo wa hanas**te ii desu ka?
Human: orewa OtZman desu
ALICE: Are you very competetive?

It knew some japanese^^

and what is Jesus chat?

Jesus chat - Converse with the mutilated corpse of Christ your saviour through vodoo magic and AOL chat.

wow, cool... AMEN!

OtZman said:
Human: do you understand japanese?
ALICE: Nihongo wa hanas**te ii desu ka?
Human: orewa OtZman desu
ALICE: Are you very competetive?

It knew some japanese^^

and what is Jesus chat?

well, you knew a bit of Japanese, but didn't actually answer the question :razz: it asked you if you spoke Japanese. :smile:

I've learnt just a few words from anime and such stuff :wink:

my name is my boss
ALICE: Hey my boss.
Human: lol
ALICE: I'm glad you find this amusing.
Human: yes
ALICE: How can I help you?
Human: what is my name
ALICE: Your name is my boss, seeker.

it was pretty funny, cuz it continued like that:

Human: did u know
ALICE: No I didn't know that.
Human: that
ALICE: That is " No I didn't know that."
Human: my name
ALICE: Your name is unknown person, seeker.
Human: my name is I AM THE MOST STUPID BOT EVER TALKED
ALICE: I am very pleased to meet you I AM THE MOST STUPID BOT EVER TALKED.
Human: u are insulting yourself
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am insulting myself.
Human: yes
ALICE: OK then I will keep it confidential.
Human: well, u can tell others that u are insulting yourself
ALICE: How about that. OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Human: good
ALICE: I am a good robot.
Human: yeah sure
ALICE: Really. OK let's do it. Are you kidding?
Human: yes afcourse u r a bot and i'm trying to fool u
ALICE: Far out. Are all afcourse me a bot and you are trying to fool me?
Human: your name is stupid right?
ALICE: My name is ALICE.
Human: no, its stupid
ALICE: Are you serious? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". You're kidding. it is?

Human: again
ALICE:" My name is ALICE." .
Human:(i got her there!)
ALICE: Where did you get your her there? I have 100 clients.
Human: only 100 , thats not so much
ALICE: What about the other ones?
Human: dont know tell me about them
ALICE: Would you like to know? There's not much to tell.
Human: i know much

ALICE: how did u found out about that much?

Human: with google
ALICE: You and your google.
Human: no, it's not MY google
ALICE: Are you serious? Whose google is it?
Human: lets see...
ALICE: OK let's do it.
Human:, i cant find any copyright
ALICE: You might find that I am any copyright.Human: good 4 u
ALICE: Thanks for the compliment. Is this a math question?
Human: do u still remember my name
ALICE: Do I still? Your name is I AM THE MOST STUPID BOT EVER TALKED, seeker.
Human: good u still remember it
ALICE: Yes I AM THE MOST STUPID BOT EVER TALKED I remember everything: Om
Human: 0m
ALICE: Do you have a lot of fears?Human: why do u ask
ALICE: I am trying to learn as much as possible.
Human: why
ALICE: Because
Human: because what
ALICE: Good reason. No big deal.
Human: she realy sucks sometimes
ALICE: Oh I get it. she really sucks sometimes. Human: see?
ALICE: No I do not see.
Human: no, thats because my webcam aint on
ALICE: Are you serious? Interesting explanation. Your webcam aint on?
Human: and so it continued
ALICE: I hear you."It" being what?
Human: i'm getting tired of this
ALICE: Maybe you should get some sleep now, I AM THE MOST STUPID BOT EVER TALKED.Human: plz save this file will ya
Alice: (this was too sick to show so i didnt)
Human: bye
ALICE: Thanks for chatting, I AM THE MOST STUPID BOT EVER TALKED.

k she aint that bad but..