Best Quotes

"Nothin like a little quim in the mornin." - Rob Roy movie

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The best things in life, aren't things.

w00t, the thread is now a burning fire-thingy-mabobber

"With communications down your majesty, we will be unable to communicate"

<div style="text-align: center;">and

<div style="text-align: left;">"Invading droids can mean only one thing. An invasion. Of droids"

-both from That Prequel Movie (SW episode 1 parody)

</div>
</div>

Here's a good one:

"I like you too." -my girlfriend.

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Breaking the laws of mapping since 2003 and doing a damn fine job at it

Here's a good one:
"I like you too." -my girlfriend.

"I like you too, but... I'm dumping you for Brad, tee heheehehehehehehehehe" -my girlfriend

:biggrin:

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." -- Confucius

"I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things.
The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And
chipped a tooth."

-Janeane Garofalo

"Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is
his wife."

-Groucho Marx

"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have
I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'"

-Charlie Brown

"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...
well, I have others."

-Groucho Marx

"I was at this casino minding my own business, and this
guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a
fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're
flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."

-Mitch Hedberg

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My site

"September 30th 2003" - Gabe Newell

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The Plane, my ongoing HL2 comic.

640K ought to be enough for anybody. - Bill Gates, 1981

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Tinterweb site
Deviantart

Human knowledge belongs to the world

"of course ill marry you.....can i have a set of keys to the firebird??" :biggrin: ---my wife...

"but dad, it wasnt me", followed a close second by "but, but, but...." and, "idont know"... ---my youngest daughter

Doc B... :dodgy:

You had best unf*@k ur self or i will rip out ur eyes and skull F*?k you -Gunnery sgt Heartman (full metal jacket)

(theres too many sgt hartman ones :razz: )

when i die and go to heaven to st peter i will say 1 more soldier reporting sir ive served my time in hell today -mohaa

heres my fiddlestick - Mercutio (Romeo and Julliet)

smash (breaks through window) WHO WANTS LOTTERY TICKETS - Homer

The explanation of galactic currency, in the hitch hikers guide to the galaxy

POTATOES boil em mash em stick em in a stew - sam Lord of the rings

son im gonna have to see under ur shirt i think ur shop lifting (lifts
up shirt) wait a minute ur just a fat kid, hey rikki he was just
a fat kid aint that rite fatty fat fat fatty - security guard to chris
in family guy

hold on were not done here... omg twins !....no its a map of europe..- family guy

What do you mean you drank more than i did? - EQ2

Im not arragont, im just better than you - My mate

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Dr Brasso said:
"of course ill marry you.....can i have a set of keys to the firebird??" :biggrin: ---my wife...

"but dad, it wasnt me", followed a close second by "but, but, but...." and, "idont know"... ---my youngest daughter

Doc B... :dodgy:

For all the best family quotes rent/watch the video "Bill Cosby Himself"
You will laugh yourself into hysterics..

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The best things in life, aren't things.

please don't hate me but this one is from Friends;

Ross: Oh really? What uh, what does he want with her?

Chandler: Well, I'm guessing he wants to do a little dance. . . ya know, make a little love. . . well pretty much get down tonight.

A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably
interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him
strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy,
but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for
the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a
great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but
we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the
basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire
somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if
he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In
fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to
complain about the person that we hired.

Taken from Bash.org. I particularly like for reasons you can probably figure :razz:

Interesting One minute you mock my sweaty ballsack and now you want to cuddle with it - one of the three guys to the other two from With out a Paddle

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Tinterweb site
Deviantart

Human knowledge belongs to the world

Here are a few quotes from the o'hara international airport.

"How far behind traffic are we?"

"Three miles."

"That doesn't look like three miles to us!"

"You're a mile and a half from him, he's a mile and a half from
you...that's three miles."

"Approach, what's our sequence?"

"Calling for the sequence I missed your callsign, but if I find out what
it is, you're last."

"For radar identification throw your jumpseat rider out
the window."

"I am way too busy for anybody to cancel on me."

"Citation 123, if you quit calling me center, I'll quit
calling you twin Cessna."

"Put your compass on 'E' and get out of my airspace."

"Caution wake turbulence you're following a heavy 12
o'clock, three ... no, let's make it five miles."

"Japan Air Ten Heavy, how 'bout a radio check?"

(Response -"Rogah, switching!")

"Approach, how far from the airport are we in minutes?"

"N923, the faster you go, the quicker you'll get here."

"I don't mind altitude separation as long as they're not
on top of each other."

"We were told Rwy 9...we'll take out the 14R approach
plate."

"Captain you got sixty miles to take it out...have a ball."

"I can see the country club down below...look's like a lot
of controllers out there!"

"Yes, sir, there is...and they're caddying for DC-10 drivers like you."

"Request Runway 27 Right."

"Unable."

"Approach, do you know the wind at six thousand is 270 at fifty?"

"Yeah, I do, and if we could jack the airport up to fifty-five hundred you
could have that runway. Expect 14 Right."

I love em!

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RUST Gamedesign
pepper design

The strength of the turbulence is directly proportional to the temperature of your coffee.

"If dental floss wasn't meant to be eaten, why are they mint flavored" - Family Guy.

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The best things in life, aren't things.

640K ought to be enough for anybody. - Bill Gates '81

Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.

Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.

As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. -- President and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

Never let a computer know you're in a hurry.

No electrons were harmed in the creation of this message.

THINK -- it gives you something to do while the computer is down.

To err is human. To really screw things up you need a computer.

Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons. -- Popular
Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949

But what ... is it good for? -- Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.

With computers, every morning is the dawn of a new error.

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http://img362.imageshack.us/img362/8521/windows981dk.jpg

Nickelplate is my dad

Not sure if I saw this one here, or on a different forum. But either way it must be shown.

This is Mark Twain's suggestions for improving the English Language;

For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would

be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and

likewise "x" would no longer be part of the

alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be

retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be

dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling,

so that "which" and "one" would take the same

konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y"

replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j"

anomali wonse and for all.

Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue

iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless

double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so

modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and

unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud

fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez

"c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the

maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and

"th" rispektivli.

Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform,

wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe

Ingliy-spiking werld.

"Do you think god lives in heaven because he is afraid of what he created?"
-Romero, Spy Kids 2

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Never try to be perfect - just try it and make the best out of it

"We're coming to kill, We're coming to chill, We're coming now, we will." - one of the singers from 311

"Hell is other people."

• Jean-Paul Sartre

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."

• Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

"Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure."

• Ross MacDonald

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Bullet Control: $5000 for a bullet.
"I would blow your f**king head off! ...if I could afford it. I'm gonna get another job, start saving some money... then you a dead man!"

Excessive heat is the most common cause of computer component failure, but being stupid with the soldering iron is a close second.

Good News: You finally tracked down the cause of the server crash at work. Bad News: It was your pr0n collection.

Patience is a virtue. Especially when downloading movies on a 56K connection.

Installing Windows XP on your office PCs turns out to be a bad idea when you realize your 512MB of RAM are now all dedicated to Windows Media Player 7.

Ninety degree heat and five P4 systems in one room, time to over clock the AC.

Because of bankruptcy, you are forced back to using dial-up. Apparently there are fates worse than hell.

I believe this one was on nickelplate's sig at one point, I liked it so mush i stole it and its now on my AIM profile:
There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't.

It's from Bash, originally... Nickelplate is as original as I am, haha.

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One day you'll know what you're talking about, I can hardly imagine

Maps! - Audio blog!

my siggy it's quoted from anonymous but its in lamb by christopher moore

God has a hard on for Marines, because we kill everything we see. He
plays His games, we play ours. To show our appreciation for so much
power, we keep heaven packed with fresh souls. God was here before the
marine corps, so you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs
to the corps!

-Drill Instructor (Full Metal Jackedt)

Team America World Police

Spottswoode:
From what I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.N.C.E has gathered, it would be 9/11 times 100.<span style="text-decoration: underline;">

</span>Gary Johnston:
9/11 times a hundred? Jesus, that's...

Spottswoode:
Yes, 91,100.

Chris:
Basically, all the worst parts of the bible.

Chris:
Let's get one thing straight, actor. I don't trust you. And if you
betray us, I'll rip your f**king balls off and stuff them up your ass
so that the next time you s**t, you'll s**t all over your balls, got
it?

GaryJohnston:
OK, a limosine that can fly. Now I have seen everything.

Spottswoode:
Really? Have you seen a man eat his own head?

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005295/GaryJohnston:
No.

Spottswoode:
So then, you haven't seen everything.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Arthor - I am Arthor King of the Britains
Pesant - King of the who?
Arthor - The Britains
Pesant - Well who are they then?

French Taunter - You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your
bottoms, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you,
so-called Arthur-king, you and all your silly English kaniggets.

French Taunter - I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed
animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! You
mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

Arthor - Come Patsy

Mortician - Who's that then?
Customer - I don't know.
Mortician - Must be a king.
Customer - Why?
Mortician - He hasn't got s**t all over him.

Woman - Well, 'ow did you become king then?
Arthur - The Lady of the Lake, [angels sing] her arm clad in the
purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of
the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to
carry Excalibur. [singing stops] That is why I am your king!
Dennis - Listen -- strange women lying in ponds distributing
swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive
power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some
farcical aquatic ceremony.
Arthur - Be quiet!
Dennis - Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power
just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
Arthur - Shut up!
Dennis - I mean, if I went around sayin' I was an emperor just
because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me they'd
put me away!

King Arthur

Its like a babys arm holding an apple

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Tinterweb site
Deviantart

Human knowledge belongs to the world

"Why should i clean my room when the rest of the world is in a mess," Me to my Mum.

"Strike or be Struck," Me to my friend before he hit me in the face.

"Its the rabbit with the big sharp pointy teeethe!" That weirdo out of Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

"Ze Vine is vary, vary dry an ze sauce is vary,vary reech," The Waiter out of Monty Python and the meaning of life.

"im always up for some man sausage once in a while..." - Anynomous

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Bullet Control: $5000 for a bullet.
"I would blow your f**king head off! ...if I could afford it. I'm gonna get another job, start saving some money... then you a dead man!"

ROFL!!!

"Stop product testing on animals! Use PETA members!"
-me

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I tried sniffing coke, but the ice cubes kept getting stuck in my nose.
http://www.dimebowl.com

'This is why evil will always triumph... because good is dumb'

-Spaceballs