A Story With A Moral

Ok, Before readin this. I'm giving a warning, your are going to want to
rip your hair out after reading this. If you are not up for taking 20
minutes to read something just click the little X in the top right
corner of this window.

Also, don't be gay and only skip to the end, read the whole thing. (Morphine)

You've been warned

This story is about a man named Bill. Bill was in his mid twenties at
the time, living by himself in a decently large house somewhere in
rural America. It was a fairly normal situation, for the most part.
Except for one small catch: Bill was absolutely OBSESSED with the color
pink. I mean, it was crazy. His house was pink, his car was pink, he
had pink flowers growing amongst pink landscaping rocks in his front
yard. Pink welcome mats on top of pink carpet in front of every pink
door. Pink walls, pink ceilings, pink light bulbs, pink garbage
disposal (I'm telling you, this man was devoted).

Anyway, one seemingly calm afternoon, our friend was lounging in his
pink recliner, sipping a pink beer, watching his pink TV, when he heard
a knock at the door. He set his pink beer down on one of many pink
coasters littering the room, slipped on his pink sandals, and walked
over to the very pink front door where he found an old lady and a small
dog. Being the polite ambassador of colors he was destined to be, he
asked "How can I help you, ma'am?" Turns out the poor old lady's car
broke down just up the street, and she was wondering if she could make
use of his telephone.

Of course Bill obliged, being the nice guy he was, and led her through
the pink foyer and over the pink tiles to the delightfully pink
telephone. She slowly dialed a number while cautiously eying the
monotone monstrosity she?d found herself immersed in, and patiently
waited through 13 rings before sighing slightly and hanging up the pink
phone. (Convoluted run-on sentences are FUN, kids!)

Being the generous fellow he was, our pink friend opened up his home to
his newest elderly acquaintance and her K-9 companion, offering her a
place to stay as long as she needed. Nearly without hesitation, the
woman accepted the invitation, and so Bill led her to a spare room she
could stay in for the night. Up the pink stairs they went, along the
pink corridor, past a pink painting hung by fluorescent pink string,
until they arrived at a green door.

The man opened the door and flipped a switch, revealing green lights
flooding the green bed atop the green-tinted hardwood floor, surrounded
by flowery green wallpaper. The lady seemed taken aback, but decided
she?d rather stay than possibly anger her obviously deranged host (dogs
are colorblind, so Sparky really couldn?t have given a s**t less). She
smiled politely and thanked the man as she closed the door, and he
returned to his downstairs recliner after grabbing a fresh beer.

Two hours or so passed fairly uneventfully. Our defender of the
tasteless spent the time washing his pink dishes in the pink sink with
his special-ordered pink scrubby, drying them with a ratty pink towel,
and returning everything to the pink cabinets where they belonged. He
heated up a Hot Pocket (don?t get any crazy ideas now, this was just a
normal Hot Pocket? some things simply aren?t meant to be pink) in his
pink microwave and ate it off a pink-woven paper towel, so as not to
dirty any more dishes.

Just as he finished his bachelor meal, Bill heard another knock at the
door. He dropped off his dinner remnants into the pink trash can on his
way to the pink door, stumbling over a pink duffel bag left in the hall
from his trip the week before. Opening the door, he was greeted by a
tall fellow, also in his mid-twenties, with a large framed backpack
clinging to his sagging shoulders. The backpacker explains how he?s
been on the trail for three and a half weeks, but recently found
himself disoriented and low on supplies. He needed a place to stay and
a way to restock, so the pink fiend opened up his house for the second
time in one afternoon, this time even offering to drive the man
wherever he needed to get the next morning. They talked for a minute on
the porch, determining the hiker?s name to be Jim. He had lost his job
and needed a vacation; for Jim, the solemnity of the outdoors was the
perfect place to relieve some stress.

Bill invited the outdoorsman indoors, and had him drop his pack on the
pink shag carpet of the glaringly pink living room. Looking around, Jim
seemed amused, but grateful to be in the company of air conditioning
for the first time in weeks. Assuming correctly that Jim would like
nothing more than a hot shower and a soft bed, Bill began the trek
upstairs with Jim in close pursuit. The pink stairs and pink corridor
and pink painting barely fazed Jim, nor did the seemingly out of place
blue door they stopped at.

Bill didn?t even open this door. He mumbled something to Jim about
being able to sleep there, and then walked over to the guest bathroom.
He made available fresh (pink) soap and (pink) towels for Jim to shower
with, and shuffled back down the (pink) stairs before Jim had a chance
to open the blue door.

The rest of the evening was boring and uneventful. TV shows started and
ended, beers were opened and consumed, and not a peep was heard from
either of Bill?s guests upstairs. Exhaustion eventually got the best of
Bill. He dozed off in his pink chair, curled up under a pink blanket,
dreaming pink dreams.

?until he was jarred violently awake by rapid pounding on the front
door. Groggy, Bill threw off the blanket and wiped his eyes, barely
making out a ?2:27 A.M.? on the (pink) microwave clock. Trudging over
to and opening the door, he found an attractive blonde woman in her
early twenties standing there, looking terrified. Her eyes darted
upward to meet Bill?s, she was shaking. Without saying a word, he
opened the door fully to let this mystery woman in and then quickly
closed it again.

They stood there next to each other in tense silence for a moment, the
girl panting, like she was trying to catch her breath. Before long, she
burst into tears. She was bawling her eyes out as she crumpled into a
sobbing ball of helplessness on the pink floor. Still feeling slightly
dazed, and completely confused, Bill stood there dumbfounded, not
knowing how exactly to react to this newest guest.

Once those poor tear ducts finally ran out of moisture, and the woman
had composed herself, she stood up and apologized to Bill. She
introduced herself as Fiona, a former businesswoman from New York City.
The tale she proceeded to tell was an extraordinary one.

Five years before, Fiona was invincible. Attending Harvard Business
School on a 4-year academic scholarship, she worked part time as a
model and was captain of the volleyball and debate teams. She was, in a
word, perfect. Fiona graduated with a 4.0 and innumerable job
opportunities. She began working for a popular advertising firm, making
$80,000 a year from the start. Soon enough Fiona had her own luxury
apartment in a premium New York real estate area (f**k you guys, I?ve
only been to NYC once in my life, sorry I can?t describe the exact
block she was living on). She got herself a puppy, and enough dog toys
to entertain a small army. She even fell in love, with the sort of
perfect man appropriately deserving of such a fine woman? or so she
thought.

His name was James, and after dating for a whopping three months, they
decided to move in together. This was when Fiona?s seemingly perfect
life was tested and exposed. Work began to bore both of them. They
partied constantly, continually discovering the newest, hottest, most
exclusive clubs the Big Apple (do people still use that term?) had to
offer. This soon led to experimentation with drugs. They had enough
money, and it gave them an edge they had been so desperately searching
for.

The recreational use, however, soon developed into addictive
dependence. The couple was young and rich, and still felt invincible.
They could afford this lifestyle for forever and a half, as far as they
were concerned. Always striving for bigger and better things, James
began dealing anything and everything he could get his hands on. Fiona
and he just barely held on to their jobs, but they kept on living it
up. James made what he thought to be great friends through his new
profession. So great, in fact, he began to have them over from time to
time so that he could share with them just a taste of his wonderful
life.

Fiona?s father had died when she was 8. Her mother hadn?t been a large
part of her life through high school or college, but after hearing of
her daughter?s success, felt compelled to visit. She showed up at
Fiona?s door one Friday afternoon, knowing only that she was employed
for a successful advertising agency. What she found absolutely appalled
her. Fiona was living with a drug dealer, in a formerly beautiful
apartment that they had since managed to trash. She had resorted to
serious drug abuse herself, and at the time of her mother?s visit,
Fiona was in no state to be expected to act agreeably. Simultaneously
terrified and infuriated, her mother took the puppy, and left. Fiona
was dead to her.

Within the coming weeks, the life of James and Fiona spiraled out of
control. They drained their joint bank account. They were attacked and
robbed by one of James?s customers, and the bastard cleaned out
everything of value they owned. Not that it matter, because they were
soon evicted. But it wasn?t their fault they couldn?t pay, they had
both lost their jobs! Fiona realized this new life of hers was leading
her nowhere, and decided she needed to leave James. So that?s just what
she did. She took her car and what few belongings she had left and
drove to her mother?s house. Surely she, of all people, would give
Fiona a second chance!

As it turns out, her mother wanted nothing to do with her. Fiona was
turned away at the door, and at that point, she realized she was left
with truly nothing. She started driving, desperat

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http://img362.imageshack.us/img362/8521/windows981dk.jpg

Nickelplate is my dad

Good thing I only read the last 4 sentences.

Cheater!

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http://img362.imageshack.us/img362/8521/windows981dk.jpg

Nickelplate is my dad

CAUTION: Windows 98 Thread (You know what to expect)

Reading this sentence was substantially better than any thread thus far IMO.

My gratitude abounds for your forethought.

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There is no history until something happens, then there is.

i didn't read it ,it would take me 3 days and 6 hours and 2 cups of tea to read that all dagnabbit, post a summary ^_^

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Hell, is an half-filled auditorium

you need to read all of it to get the joke. you can't summerize it. For
anyone who does read all of it. dont give it away or summerize it.

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http://img362.imageshack.us/img362/8521/windows981dk.jpg

Nickelplate is my dad

Windows 98 said:
you can't summerize it. For anyone who does read all of it. dont give it away or summerize it.

....

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There is no history until something happens, then there is.

IT MEANS YOU HAVE TO READ THE WHOLE F*CKING THING! AND FOR ANYONE WHO READ IT ALLREADY DON'T POST A SUMMARY OF IT IN THE THREAD!

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http://img362.imageshack.us/img362/8521/windows981dk.jpg

Nickelplate is my dad

Windows 98 said:
IT MEANS YOU HAVE TO READ THE WHOLE F*CKING THING! AND FOR ANYONE WHO READ IT ALLREADY DON'T POST A SUMMARY OF IT IN THE THREAD!

Did you intend to yell or were you just loudly clarifying your sentiments?

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There is no history until something happens, then there is.

trying to make it stand out so it doesnt happen after peopl read it and then read the rest of the posts

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http://img362.imageshack.us/img362/8521/windows981dk.jpg

Nickelplate is my dad

It's an antique joke which was never funny in the first place anyway IMO.

Read it, no laughs...

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Dark_Kilauea
DVS Administration
http://www.dvstudio-production.com/

-_- read it. 10 wasted minutes...

i've heard that joke before in diffrent form.

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God got tired waiting all sunday for the world to compile and finaly had it.
On the Eight day, god created func_details, and he saw that it was fast.

GET IT! THATS THE JOKE! YOU WASTED YOUR TIME!!

Sincerely - Windows 98

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http://img362.imageshack.us/img362/8521/windows981dk.jpg

Nickelplate is my dad

[21:35:37] <Crapceeper> is it possible to summarise Win98s' story?

[21:36:15] <rApTy> errr... it's boring

[21:36:31] <rApTy> its a very old joke

[21:36:40] <rApTy> a long long story

[21:36:51] <rApTy> and when you've done with the pointless story

[21:37:26] <rApTy> the morale of the story is completley riddickilus

[21:38:52] <Crapceeper> ohhhhkay... Well. Sounds like Win98's
reputation. I think I have to read it myself to understand (or
not understand) the whole thing.

[21:39:44] <azelito> I decide to only read the last 4 sentences

[21:40:04] <Crapceeper> Did it help?

[21:40:07] <azelito> Actually, that makes no sense

[21:40:14] <azelito> I won't even bother reading it

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"Azelito, stop being a f**king bitch. All I see you do is complain and insult people in your recent posts. We don't care, go find a razor you emo pansy..." -Windows98

Boring text, boring joke. But Ctrl+A always helps spotting the hidden
messages. I guess you'll need to come with something actually funny next time, Win98...

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Create-ivity - a game development blog

Man, my head hurts...

Eh, whatever, I liked it more than most of his tomfooleries... I've heard the joke too, just in a way different form.

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One day you'll know what you're talking about, I can hardly imagine

Maps! - Audio blog!

I agree-gree. most of his other stuff was a bigger waste of time. He use to troll, now he just spouts nonsense.

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I tried sniffing coke, but the ice cubes kept getting stuck in my nose.
http://www.dimebowl.com

well the last 4 lines sucked i dunno about the rest

thats probly why i dont get it

I just have to say this. You asshole I read the whole thing without reading the comments. Far from 20 minutes though more like 5 to 10 minutes.

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Reckless disregard for childrens well being, women and nothing but utter contempt for other cultures.

meh, i am a slow reader.

it is acually a cool story

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http://img362.imageshack.us/img362/8521/windows981dk.jpg

Nickelplate is my dad

Did you write it?

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http://maze5.net

no

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http://img362.imageshack.us/img362/8521/windows981dk.jpg

Nickelplate is my dad

I draw your attention to this:

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/posting.php

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Posting And You

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/posting.php

OMG THATS HALARIOUS... or not. Good try. Still not as funny as me

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http://img362.imageshack.us/img362/8521/windows981dk.jpg

Nickelplate is my dad

Yknow. I read these forums every week or so and I only ever post every
2 months. I would just like to say this, Windows 98, Grow up.

I don't exactly contribute to this site maps and articles wise, but
what exactly is it that you have that makes you feel so above the rest?
That gives you the right to be a troll?

You may think that you're "raging against the machine", but please. Turn off MTV and join the real world.

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-KingNic

-Slapping polygons together incoherently since 2000

Wow, what makes you above me? Also, MTV is gay. They dont play music
anymore. And i make a lot of maps. Just i dont post them on here
because when i did people just was like OMG YOUR MAPS SECK. Ive gotten
much better but i still dont feel like being flamed.

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http://img362.imageshack.us/img362/8521/windows981dk.jpg

Nickelplate is my dad

he makes a good point

EDIT: refering to KingNic that is

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/posting.php

OMG THATS HALARIOUS... or not. Good try. Still not as funny as me

At leat what I posted was worth looking at.

Nic- I agree

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Posting And You

f**k. i spent almost twenty minutes reading and rereading bit to make sure i got them befor finishing.

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Bullet Control: $5000 for a bullet.
"I would blow your f**king head off! ...if I could afford it. I'm gonna get another job, start saving some money... then you a dead man!"

<div><div>[size=13]

Wow, what makes you above me?

I don't see where I said I did.

Also, MTV is gay. They dont play music
anymore.

No it doesn't play music anymore, but I don't see how that makes it
homosexual. Perhaps you'd like to explain to me exactly how MTV is
homosexual?

[quoteAnd i make a lot of maps. Just i dont post them on here
because when i did people just was like OMG YOUR MAPS SECK. Ive gotten
much better but i still dont feel like being flamed.</div></div>

See and this is where your argument has 100% fallen apart. If you post
maps on here, then pitters WILL post constructive criticism. They don't
say "OMG YOUR MAPS SECK". For one thing, they can spell "suck". For
another thing, they will tell you how to improve them, not that they
suck. If they told you that your maps suck, then it's because you
provoked them by telling them to F-off and stop telling you how you to
improve the maps that you probably thought were the best thing ever.[/size]

<div><div>

[size=13]
No it doesn't play music anymore, but I don't see how that makes it
homosexual. Perhaps you'd like to explain to me exactly how MTV is
homosexual?

The Real World

[/size]</div></div>

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http://img362.imageshack.us/img362/8521/windows981dk.jpg

Nickelplate is my dad

Again, how is the real world gay? While it may be a bad show that
doesn't even touch on a real life situation, how the hell is it
homosexual?

And when did "gay" become a term that magicaly stated your point?

here is an example:

person 1: "I enjoy apples"

Person 2: "no, apples are gay" (note that no where in that statment did
person 2 give any reson why they dont like apples or why apples are
homosexual [fun fact: apples dont have sex])

Here is something I suggest you do win98, after you write a post review
it and delete the word gay. Then rethink what you are about the
post and think about what it could possible add the the
community.

I'm sure your a nice kid, but you are really giving your self a bad
name by... well... posting this kind of garbage here. Then
ranting at people for not finding that garbage funny. Even worse
you dont take our input and start flaming people and defending yourself
by trying to put down other people.

This is also your problem when it comes to posting maps, you cant take
critizium becuase any "negative" thing anyone says to you appears to be
an attack on you, and you seem to have to "defend" yourself by calling
the speaker gay or some other witty word you kids use these days.

/signed

//seconded.....any questions?

Doc B... :dodgy:

Which reminds me, why do people associate gay with homosexual?
Officially, gay means happy, doesn't it? I really don't see the
connection between being gay and someone's sexual orientation.

One of the definitions of gay is homosexual, actually.

http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary?book=Dictionary&va=gay&x=0&y=0

Guys... aren't we like overdoing it with the Windows 98 guy? It's turning into a psychlogical persecution. I can't imagine what would have happened if he had called himself Windows Millenium...

One of the definitions of gay is homosexual, actually.

http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary?book=Dictionary&va=gay&x=0&y=0

Yes, but I still suspect that the 4th definition was added only
recently to the word's list of meanings, the other 3 existing long
before "gay" gained a sexual connotation.

What about faggot or fagot? That used to be wood twigs in a bundle or a bundle of metal to be hammered into bars.

I believe they associated "gay", specifically, with homosexual men ... and the reason why, as far as I can see, is that stereotypically a homosexual man is suppose to be "fruity" and overtly energetic and happy ... Gay. Since then though, it's just become slang used to such a large degree that it had to be adapted to common dictionaries, too many people use it. Look at the word ain't. Is it a proper word? No. Is it in dictionaries? Yes. Why? Too many people used it.

I'm not even going into why faggot, or fagot got turned into a term for homosexual men (fag is even worse, since it had more definitions! Oddly enough, more relating to British students ... wonder why people chose that word as an insult). And make no mistake, it wasn't until about ten years ago that it became common to use both of these terms for both homosexual groups (male and female). Before then ... it'd be kind of odd to call a woman "gay".

THEN, there's the whole thing now, were "Gay", might be seen as the respectable way to take note of the persons homosexual preference, while as fag/faggot/fagot is disrespectful, and an insult.

Honestly, even though I don't really agree with a homosexual preference ... I think it's unfair that it is more acceptable (in general) for women to have a homosexual, or even bisexual, preference.
But, we're not going into bisexual commentary and whatever religious, social, or ethical implications it may have.

Human nature is so annoying and confusing sometimes.

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Blame it on Microsoft, God does.

lol a "fag" is a cigarette.

a "faggot" is a bundle of sticks or a twig

"gay" means happy

"Queer" means odd

oh, well!

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I tried sniffing coke, but the ice cubes kept getting stuck in my nose.
http://www.dimebowl.com

This thread is gay...

lol?

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http://img362.imageshack.us/img362/8521/windows981dk.jpg

Nickelplate is my dad

No.

tear

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http://img362.imageshack.us/img362/8521/windows981dk.jpg

Nickelplate is my dad

You guys are just hatin' on win's thread coz he's a Jew!

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I tried sniffing coke, but the ice cubes kept getting stuck in my nose.
http://www.dimebowl.com

Oh how close to the truth you are
Nickelplate... But actually it is 'cos he is a n.....
non-contributional member of this community...

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''Everyone wades in s**t until they're competent enough to walk on it. Jesus style.''
Dystopia - Empires

But actually it is 'cos he is a n.....
non-contributional member of this community...

<span style="color: lightblue;">I don't understand why you marked that as being sarcastic. :razz: </span>

wow this is great

at home im the one getting all the crap

but i think thats cuz all the people in my town are ignorant hillbillies and i tell them that