The Story, A Dramatic Tale in Hundreds of Parts

Post, I was looking at the tall slender buildings over my head that I nearly drove into a post, luckily the automatic braking instead of smashing into a lampost system on this hoverbike worked perfectly, so I drove around it. At the end of the road .....

there was a brick wall. In the wall there was a hole. I couldn't see
what was at the end of it. I decided to see what was on the other
side...

...put forgot why I was even there. So I got some coffee instead.

On the way back from the coffee shop...

I saw in a discarded newspaper that a group of terrorists had detonated a 20 MT "suitcase" nuke in the neighboring city. People were running in panic everywhere, oblivious to the fallout now raining down on everyone. I quickly walked into a gunshop, and fashioned the lead from the bullets into a shield for my most "vital" body parts...

...there was a brick wall. In the wall there was a hole. I couldn't see
what was at the end of it. "Hmmm, Deja Vu" I mumbled, then I decided to see what was on the other
side...

it was...... britney spears. she has been revived by a crazy doctor called.....

Dr. Nick Riveaira

I saw him , he looked at me and said " hi only one body", to which I replyed, "hi dr.nick".

This witty repartee seemed to confuse the doctor, stalling him just
long enough for me to put Britney in my suitcase undetected it was a
tight squeeze...

...especially since inside there was also a toaster oven and an inflatable airjet. I asked Brittney to blow the airjet up thru the hole in the wall. She obliged by pressing her lips to the hole and blowing softly. Quickly, I dropped the airjet and...looking around quickly, instead of putting the airjet nozzle in the hole, I put...

...half a turnip.

Heh, I killed the story! Bow at my feet underlings :wink:

... Cried the god of the stories Hawkins, suddenly the half turnip that briteny was blowing on shot out of her mouth and...

ha! i unkilled the story

the turnip suddenly turned into a penis. MINE

The turnip had simply been a clever disguise by the evil censors that rule this world in an effort to keep the story clean of explicit sexuality for the younger, more impressionable children of this strange universe. Unfortunatly the turnip wasn't a viable switch becasue it just didn't fit in Britny's mouth with the same familiarity that my penis did. I got the distinct impression that she'd done this before... many times...

Cassius said:
the turnip suddenly turned into a penis. MINE

EDITORS NOTE: I fixed Mr. Cassius's reply to better reflect the accuracy of the situation, please continue as if he typed it correctly the first time..

thankyou,
the management.

Something was deeply, deeply, wrong with me. That devilish Dr. Nick had
obviously drugged me. Mustering all my inner strength, I could feel
myself slipping out of this strange vegetable pornography trance, only
to find myself in a padded cell with no way out...

...and next to me in the padded room was Pennywise the clown....or was that just Mephs....

Either way, I was sure to go mad...

In a desperate bid to escape I...

...took out my trusty cheese grater and tor my way to freedom!

after days of using a cheese grater on the stone wall while the doctor looked on in amusment, I got quite upset.

Just then I heard the doctor ask me a question, "Are you done yet?"

That was the last straw, I flew into a rage and then I...

resurrected a dead topic.

Which proceeded to go on babbling nonsensically, as topics were wont to do in those days. Then Dr. Nick..

..who was terrified of the threads unnatural long life and strange ability to be resurrected...

...caused the universe to collapse o itself, therefore ending this excuse for a topic. THE END.

Luckily The Snarkpit 2 located in a parallel universe continued the growth of the canceres thread.

Here comes the bouncy ball of thread resurrection!

Let's shoot it down, clay pigeon stylee.