Official Joke Thread

Dunno if it was already made. Havent seen it before if it was.

SO I GUESS ILL START!

How long does it take for a black lady to take a crap?

9 months (rofl)

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http://img362.imageshack.us/img362/8521/windows981dk.jpg

Nickelplate is my dad

Bad first joke to a joke thread IMO :razz:

And there have been many joke threads already, but most of them are so
old no one out of a high position here can bring them back - but how
would you know that? you havent been around long enough to know, either
that or you didn't bother using the search option at the bottom.

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Posting And You

I did use it and found nothing (im a sucky searcher), well lets try to keep this alive like Recently Watched or Listened

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http://img362.imageshack.us/img362/8521/windows981dk.jpg

Nickelplate is my dad

how about deleted.....this is not a forum for ANY racial overtones sir....

Doc B... :dodgy:

cue TV trumpet sound effects Wah Waaahh

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I tried sniffing coke, but the ice cubes kept getting stuck in my nose.
http://www.dimebowl.com

Dr Brasso said:
how about deleted.....this is not a forum for ANY racial overtones sir....

Doc B... :dodgy:

deleted? are you getting soft in your golden years Doc?
win98, show a bit of good sense before it's too late, and delete it yourself with an apology to any of the members that you've just insulted.

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i eat paint

How many threads does it take to deter black females from becoming contributing members of these forums?

Just one, this.

I agree, get this crap off this site now...

Until Later...

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Dark_Kilauea
DVS Administration
http://www.dvstudio-production.com/

Now, I'm all for free speech and the right of white pride and all that, but there's no reason to be insulting others.

Windows98, White Pride is about loving who you are, no hating who others are. So many kids in the new generation get this wrong from the very beginning. You just need some guidance. Go to www.stormfront.org to learn about how white pride should be. (some of the content of stormfront is wrong too, though. Because a lot of racists go there.)

Don't hate others, Love yourself.
In fact, have a good wank or something. AFTER YOU DELETE THIS THREAD!

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I tried sniffing coke, but the ice cubes kept getting stuck in my nose.
http://www.dimebowl.com

Windows 98, yer trolling is getting way too obvious... stick to acting
like a n00b, it suits your image. This place is too mature to get taken
in by the tricks you're pulling.

Jesus Christ....it was a joke. If a mod wants to delete it, he/she
will. Win98 also started a thread to make church signs, 90% of which
were anti-God.....no one was complaining about the
anti-Christianism/Catholisism and how it is offensive to those
religions...........98 IS trolling, as fraggard said, though.

whats trolling?

Dark has a point though, you cant giggle over one thing then get offended when something of the same comes around.

Not that I'm defending the joke, it was in poor taste, and so was the
church sign thing. I didn't post in that thread becuase very very
few of the signs were cleaver, they were just crude humor. Much
like the first and only joke on this thread.

Dark Tree said:
Jesus Christ....it was a joke. If a mod wants to delete it, he/she will. Win98 also started a thread to make church signs, 90% of which were anti-God.....no one was complaining about the anti-Christianism/Catholisism and how it is offensive to those religions...........98 IS trolling, as fraggard said, though.

True, but there is a critical difference between a racial joke and a religious one. An individual chooses a religion. No one has the ability to choose their race. Making fun of behaviors is, in my book, fair game. Anything that attacks something the individual has no control over is pointless and stupid. However I can't give any really good reasons why I feel this way, so maybe it's a stupid distinction.

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Some people are like slinkys...

They aren?t really good for anything, but you can't help but laugh when one tumbles down the stairs.

Why are black people black?



COS THEY ARE BLACK LOLOLOLOL

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"If you talk at all during this lesson, you have detention. Do you understand?"

• My yr11 Economics teacher

Haha.

A robot walked into a bar and ordered a drink. The bartender said "We
don't serve robots" and the robot replied "Oh but someday you willl..."

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One day you'll know what you're talking about, I can hardly imagine

Maps! - Audio blog!

Dunno if it was already made. Havent seen it before if it was.

SO I GUESS ILL START!

How long does it take for a black lady to take a crap?

9 months (rofl)

You know, If you were on my forum you would have gotten yourself banned for this. Racist jokes are not funny.

And I fully agree with Tracer Bullet.

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A squad of American soldiers was patrolling the Iraqi border, when they
came across a badly mangled dead body. As they got closer, they found
it was an Iraqi soldier. A short distance up the road, they found a
badly mangled American soldier in a ditch on the other side of the
road, struggling to breathe. They ran to him, cradled his bruised head
and asked him what had happened.<br style="font-style: italic;">
<br style="font-style: italic;">
"Well," he whispered, "I was walking down this road, armed to the teeth
when I came across this heavily armed Iraqi border guard. I looked him
right in the eye and shouted, 'Saddam Hussein is a moronic, deceitful,
lying piece of trash!'"<br style="font-style: italic;">
<br style="font-style: italic;">
"He looked me right in the eye and shouted back, 'George W. Bush is a moronic, deceitful, lying piece of trash too!'"<br style="font-style: italic;">
<br style="font-style: italic;">
"We were standing there shaking hands when the truck hit us."<br style="font-style: italic;">
<br style="font-style: italic;">
<br style="font-style: italic;">
<br style="font-style: italic;">
<br style="font-style: italic;">

LOL....that was pretty good.

Tracer Bullet said:
No one has the ability to choose their race

Good point. However, if someone here WAS black, and made a joke about "crackas" I'd probably laugh. Anyway...

Here is a joke I found on CNN:

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He
doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy
takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "I think my friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says:
"Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a
silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK,
now what?"

DrGlass said:
what is trolling?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_troll

And....I guess he isn't TRYING to cause disruption by posting random nonsense, he is just really good at it. Like me.

Hah, Andrei, that's a good one, had me laughing for awhile :smile:

You know what pisses me off the most about this site? You lot and your equal rights and political correctness, your far too into it.

I'm guessing your all against Jew jokes, ethiopian jokes, and anything to do with race, country of origin, or anything taboo. Well congrats, you cut the joke list to 1/100th of its original size!

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-[Better to be Honest than Kind]-

The problem is that jokes about things like that can be funny,
but you need to judge your audience so as not to cause offence. I mean
you can make a joke about religion without causing offence if you know
the people listening don't care about it, but doing so on an internet
site that has a large member base means you will almost always offend
somebody who the topic affects.

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[img]http://card.mygamercard.net/sig/Default/reno84.png[/img]
Designer @ Haiku Interactive | ReNo-vation.net

also.. the joke wasn't funny...

i have a joke with my friend about orange jews but thats cuz i know
him and he doesnt really care lol. its just a reallllly bad pun... and
those kinda jokes should really be a personal thing if at all said. imo
:wink:

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.else /me ~kill you
www.arclan.net

ya know, ive been coming to this site for a few years now, and this is the first time ive actually been truly suprised at the responses on this topic....the pit has changed....back in the days of gollum and such, this would have been grounds for a serious and analytical ass reeming.....its a general banter forum.....so banter.....im as white as german rice, and i find it quite distasteful to think of someone on this site being truly and maliciously hurt by someones own stupid and inconsiderate remarks, even if it was a s**tty attempt at humor....theres plenty of sites around to bash whomever or whatever you like, but this is a mapping site, frequented by all manner of folk, all skin tones, and all skill levels. not to mention all ages. is this really the kind of attitude you'd like your kid to learn? i mean seriously....they'll learn their own bigotries on their qwn quite soon enough.

? posted by fishy
deleted? are you getting soft in your golden years Doc?

nope, not soft fishman, i havent changed.....i just wasnt going to jump the gun too fast....his rebuttal is what really punches my buttons....

Dr Brasso...

Myrk- said:
You know what pisses me off the most about this site? You lot and your equal rights and political correctness, your far too into it.

I'm guessing your all against Jew jokes, ethiopian jokes, and anything to do with race, country of origin, or anything taboo. Well congrats, you cut the joke list to 1/100th of its original size!

You may well be right about that Myrk, and we may have over-reacted just a tad but. However, I think that is due to the simple fact that the initial joke was so terribly derogatory! I wasn't even tempted to laugh at that one. There is a difference between a joke which insinuates that polish people are stupid, and a joke that suggests polish people are worthless trash who might as well be flushed down the toilet at birth. There is also a certain cultural sense which allows most people to discern which racial jokes are OK and which are not. In general, jokes about other Caucasian ethnicities are far more acceptable because it is too ridiculous for most people to believe (in this country anyway) that anyone could seriously hold it against you for being of German rather than English descent. There is a whole scale that depends on your local culture.

All that said however, I'd also like to point out that racial jokes are in general some of the least-funny elements of popular humor I can think of.

OK, this may not be the right company for this one, but it's all I can think of atm.

Heisenberg was driving in his car when he was pulled over for speeding:

Officer: "Do you know how fast you were going, sir!?"

Heisenberg: "No, I've no idea. However I knew exactly where I was!"

If you don't get this joke, count yourself lucky, and call me a nerd.

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Some people are like slinkys...

They aren?t really good for anything, but you can't help but laugh when one tumbles down the stairs.

I don't think you're making a very good name for yourself Windows. First it was the offensive picture thread taking the mickey out of people who don't deserve it, and now racist jokes.

I'm finding it increasingly easy to not like you.

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You Got To Get Through What You've Got To Go Through To Get What You Want But You Got To Know What You Want To Get Through What You Got To Go Through

I hadn't actually read any of the thread and thought that Myrk was
making just a general comment that the jokes so far had been too
"tame". Having now seen the new replies and gone back to read the first
joke, I completely agree that it is a really offensive thing to say.
Windows, I think its a bit late for me to bother deleting as its now
been quoted and what not, but in future show a bit of decency and
restraint please.

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[img]http://card.mygamercard.net/sig/Default/reno84.png[/img]
Designer @ Haiku Interactive | ReNo-vation.net

Andrei said:
A squad of American soldiers was patrolling the Iraqi border, when they came across a badly mangled dead body. <BR style="FONT-STYLE: italic"><BR style="FONT-STYLE: italic"><BR style="FONT-STYLE: italic"><BR style="FONT-STYLE: italic">

Damn! I knew a joke who starts exactly like that; then I dunno what goes in the middle, but it ends with something like "It only hurts when I laugh"; man, that was a great joke, it's such a shame I cannot recall the missing parts...

Damn...

Has anyone other than me noticed that the threads that start out with
something offensive or insulting are always the ones that are posted in
longest? Like take "Forums Suck" for example. In most
forums, it would have drifted out of atention in no time.
However, here it'll become a "popular" topic in days.

Whereas other, potentially more intelligent starts to threads disappear to page two in no time.

Inverness is an ultimate place for jokes.

Blonde Jokes:

2 blondes walk into a building, you would have thought one of them had seen it.

Q:Why are Blondes coffins triangular. A: Whenever their head hits a pillow their legs open.

A blonde walks into Comet. The manager says "sorry we don't serve
blondes," So the blonde goes home and dies her hair red. She returns to
the shop and takes a tele box to the counter. I would likke to buy tv
please. The man says " sorry we don't serve blondes," and the blonde
replies " how did you know i was a blonde?"

the clerk replies " Because thats a bloody microwave!".

Irishman, scottishman, englishman:

An Irishman a scottishman and an Englishman are walking down the road
when suddenly a genie appears and tells them they have one wish each.

The Irishman says, well, i wish that i haed the most bueutiful wife in all the land.

The Englishman says, I want to be a rich aand powerful English lord.

The Scottishman says, i wish my willie was soo big that i touched the floor.

The next morning the Irishman wakes up with a bueatiful woman beside
him. The Englishman wakes up in a huge house with sevants buzzing at
his every need. The Scottishman wakes up to find that he has no legs.

I noticed that the "offensive threads" get lots of posts too.

TB, nerd. But it was funny.

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I tried sniffing coke, but the ice cubes kept getting stuck in my nose.
http://www.dimebowl.com

I really don't get TB's one.

And yeah, racism is poo.

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:: Forceflow.be :: Nuclear Dawn developer

Myrk, I'm all for racial hurmor, I joke around with black, white, red,
green friends all the time but jokes like that arn't good jokes.
The humor comes from the shock, and here on the pit most people dont
enjoy that kind of humor.

Take Huge's joke, its clever!

compared to windows joke

black woman have babies! hahahaha (it isn't funny)

One thing that must be established though, Blonde jokes are
never funny. They stopped being funny before the first one.

I'm not against racist jokes; I just think that joke was offensive (saying that black people are s**t).

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The German controllers at Frankfurt
Airport are a short-tempered lot. They not only expect you to know your
parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from
them. So it was with some amusement that, while visiting the cockpit
aboard a PanAm 747 being piloted by a boyhood chum, I listened to the
following exchange between Frankfurt ground and a British Airways 747
(radio call Speedbird 206) after landing....<br style="font-style: italic;">
<br style="font-style: italic;">
Speedbird 206: "Good morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the active."<br style="font-style: italic;">
<br style="font-style: italic;">
Ground: "Guten morgan, taxi to your gate."<br style="font-style: italic;">
<br style="font-style: italic;">
. . . The British Airways 747 pulls onto the main taxiway and stops.<br style="font-style: italic;">
<br style="font-style: italic;">
Ground: "Speedbird 206, do you not know where you are going?"<br style="font-style: italic;">
<br style="font-style: italic;">
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, ground, I'm looking up the gate location now."<br style="font-style: italic;">
<br style="font-style: italic;">
Ground: (with typical Germanic impatience) ... "Speedbird 206, have you never flown to Frankfurt before?"<br style="font-style: italic;">
<br style="font-style: italic;">
Speedbird 206: (coolly) ... "Yes, in 1944. But I didn't stop."<br style="font-style: italic;">
<br style="font-style: italic;">
<br style="font-style: italic;">

Typical german impatience? WAAAHHH RACISM RACISM I'M GERMAN AND I"M OFFENDED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!

------Caution this joke may offend!------

How do you stop a black guy from drowning?

You take your foot off his head.

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Bullet Control: $5000 for a bullet.
"I would blow your f**king head off! ...if I could afford it. I'm gonna get another job, start saving some money... then you a dead man!"

dude, dont post those, one guy got a telling off for it, so stop already!

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I need a new sig

Yeah, you think you'd learn...

I'm shocked and appalled at you Rival laughs at the Blonde walking by with her underwear on her head.

Typical german impatience? WAAAHHH RACISM RACISM I'M GERMAN AND I"M OFFENDED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!

Ok, ok, a joke about a certain romanian dictator:

Nicolae Ceausescu was to hold a
speech before his admiring nation with the occasion of the 1975 Olympic
Games in Bucharest. He walks onto the podium, arranges his many
microphones and, after looking at the sea of people before him, says
"Oooooooooooooooooooo...!". Everyone looks around to see what could
have shocked the Carpathian Genius so hard. The dictator opens his
mouth again and another "...Ooooooooooooo...!" comes out. The crowd
starts getting anxious as Ceausescu prepares to launch another series
of "ooooooo"s but is interupted by a militia man: "Comrade, those are
the olympic circles".

A bus full of American tourists is crossing some villages in Poland. It's lunch time, the people are hungry, so the bus stops near a local snack, and one of the tourists gets down to order some sandwiches.

• "I'd like 30 burgers please!" he asks to a guy who is apparently the owner of the place. The guy looks at him, doesn't say a thing, and starts making the burgers and grumbling, clearly irritated by the stranger.So the tourist asks him:

• "Is everything ok? You look a little pissed off; is there something wrong?"

• "You're American, aren't you?"

• "Yes."

• "You make fun of us, with your jokes; you think we're stupid!"

• "Hey come on, he answers him; it's just jokes, really, nobody takes it seriously. Don't feel offended, you shouldn't be". So the cook says:

• "I'll show you how smart we are: ask me anything!"

Now the tourist who doesn't wanna irritate the man, starts talking with him about politics, cultures, science, history, arts... And the restaurant owner shows really a lot of knowledge; this humble fellow understands a lot of things, in all kinds of fields... The tourist is really impressed:

• "Wow!! he says. That's really impressing! I mean you're just a restaurant owner, and you know all these things that even I haven't heard of... From now on I'll tell everyone I know how Polish people are really smart and cultivated."

The owner smiles at last! Then he asks the tourist:

• "Ok! The 30 burgers are ready! You wanna eat them here, or you take them with you?"

...

personally, i've decided to boycott this thread. anyone that wants to give credibility to win98 doesn't need to join me.

anyone that disagrees should probably go here to meet o lot of likeminded people.

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i eat paint

Ok, the point is your all off topic, and the point is to leave jokes. not complaints

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http://img362.imageshack.us/img362/8521/windows981dk.jpg

Nickelplate is my dad

Where is Gwil? He disappeared.

He's in austrailia this year,

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I need a new sig

Ah, that would explain...

Okay, most awesomest joke ever;

A priest and a raabi walk into the mall. The priest says "Hey,
let's get that ham". And the raabi says "no. No I can't eat
it."

One time 2 priests and a rabbi decide to have a picnic of sorts.They
pack some lunch and hop on a boat and row out onto the water. They open
their lunch basket thing and take out their samdwhiches. Just then a
rabbi takes a bite out of his sandwhich and says "Oh snap! forgot my
mayo". So he jumps off the boat and walks on the water all the way to
the shore and goes gets some mayo. When he gets back the other rabbi
says "Oh man, i forgot the dessert over on that picnic table on shore.
Ill be right back". So the rabbi hops off the boat and walks on the
water over to the shore and back. Now the priest is like WTF. So he
says, "Hey, Ill be right back"and hops off the boat. But instead of
walking he falls into the water and drowns. One rabbi looks to the
other and says "Do you think we should've told him about the stepping
rocks?"

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http://img362.imageshack.us/img362/8521/windows981dk.jpg

Nickelplate is my dad

OMG YOUR SO RACIST LOLZOR!

Nah that was a good one :razz: I like rabbi jokes :biggrin:

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-[Better to be Honest than Kind]-

A guy walks into a bar and says ouch.

look, i like to laff my ass off just as much or more as the next guy, but come on ....theres a big difference in racialy oriented jokes that celebrate and revere our colors and cultural differences, and those that use the guise of humor to defile and defame a color or culture.....biiiig difference.....ive been shot at by and with people of all colors, and go figure, its all pink and bloody when the insides are on the outside....just think about what it is yer saying, and the ramifications of saying it.....itll be a trait the world will respect, and it might keep you from taking that "karmic" ass-kickin' yer looking at.....

my final two cents.....i hope.

Doc B... :dodgy:

Did you hear about the gynaecologist who wallpapered his hallway through the letter-box?