Stereotypes

I got something in english lesson which is really funny. It is a piece
of paper that includes the "TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING XXXX" - well let's
go:

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH:

1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound like a homo.

2. It's easy being a soap dodger.

3. You get to eat s**tty little things like snails and frog's legs.

4. You know what you are ordering in expensive restaurants.

5. You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4.

6. You can test your own nuclear weapons far away from your own doorstep.

7. You can be ugly and still become a famous film star.

8. If there is a war you can surrender really early.

9. You don't have to bother with toilets, just s**t in a hole.

10. People think you are a great lover even when you're crap.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH:

1. Two World Wars and One World Cup doo-dah doo-dah...

2. Warm beer.

3. You get to confuse Yanks with the rules of cricket.

4. You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events.

5. Union Jack underpants.

6. Water shortages guaranteed every single summer.

7. Puts you in with a chance of bedding Joan Collins.

8. Bathing once a week - whether you need to or not.

9. Ditto changing underwear.

10. Beats being Welsh,

11. Err... or Scottish.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN:

1. In-depth knowlegde of bizarre pasta shapes.

2. Not embarrassed to wear fur.

3. No need to worry about tax returns.

4. Glorious military history... well, till about 400 a.d.

5. Can wear sunglasses inside.

6. Political stability.

7. Flexible working hours.

8. Live near the Pope.

9. Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair.

10. Sweating tenors.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH:

1. You can be mistaken for a Mexican all over North America.

2. The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees.

3. You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits, etc...

4. The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans.

5. Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's the real thing.

6. Hard to get the women into bed without marrying them...

7. ... and twice as hard still if you are not Catholic.

8. In fact, the only sure way is to dress up in silly too-tight clothes and risk your life in front of bulls.

9. You get to eat bull's testicles.

10. Supported Argentina in Falklands War.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH:

1. The Guinness is great.

2. The crack is great.

3. You won't get in a crack unless you marry them.

4. You can't have sex with a condom on.

5. Thus you must have sex without one on.

6. No one can ever remember the night before.

7. If you don't agree with me I'll blow you up.

8. The stew is great.

9. The Murphy's is great.

10. Err... Best pop down the pub and have a think...

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING BELGIAN:

1. You can speak three languages in one sentence without realizing it.

2. You get to own a dog that is smaller than your cat.

3. You can go out for a beer at 3.00 a.m., and the bar is just starting to liven up.

4. You can speak French as your native language without actually being French.

5. When driving you can try to kill every pedestrian that dares to step on a zebra crossing.

6. You never have to tip in restaurants or cabs.

7. No-one knows where your country is.

8. You can step in a dozen different varieties of dogs**t between you front door and your car.

9. You have a royal family that no-one's ever heard of.

10. You can queue for an hour in the post office to buy a stamp and think it was good service.

That's it. Maybe you can find TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN or AMERICAN, etc.

Lets all the americans and german make up a list.

I'll go first.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN:

1. You get the exclusive right to mesure everything based on the size of a dead English man's body parts.

<DIV class=quote>
<DIV class=quotetitle>? quoting DrGlass</DIV>
<DIV class=quotetext>Lets all the Americans and German make up a list.

I'll go first.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN:
1. You get the exclusive right to measure everything based on the size of a dead English man's body parts.</DIV>
<DIV class=quotetext>2. You get the pleasure of never quite comparing to the image other countries portray you as.
</DIV></DIV>

DrGlass said:
Lets all the Americans and German make up a list.

I'll go first.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN:
1. You get the exclusive right to measure everything based on the size of a dead English man's body parts.</div>
<div class="quotetext">2. You get the pleasure of never quite comparing to the image other countries portray you as.

3. You as a public have the right to vote the most stupid Presedential candidate to run office.

5. Union Jack underpants.

Hey, those y-fronts rule!

But you need to update it, the bathing once a week seems....so 50's.

Top 10 reasons for being German:

1) Your mother and father were German
2) Er... that's it

Top 10 advantages to being German:

1) You're fairly near Lego Land
2) Moustaches, beer, and big ladies named Helga
3) You have silly long words for simple things, e.g. Donaudampfschiffahrtsgesellschaftskapitaenskajuetenklinenputzergehilfe
4) Er... that's it

<DIV class=quote>
<DIV class=quotetitle>? quoting thursday-</DIV>
<DIV class=quotetext>

<DIV class=quote>
<DIV class=quotetitle>? quote:</DIV>
<DIV class=quotetext>

<DIV class=quote>
<DIV class=quotetitle>? quoting DrGlass</DIV>
<DIV class=quotetext>Lets all the Americans and German make up a list.

I'll go first.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN:
1. You get the exclusive right to measure everything based on the size of a dead English man's body parts.</DIV>
<DIV class=quotetext>2. You get the pleasure of never quite comparing to the image other countries portray you as.

3. You as a public have the right to vote the most stupid Presedential candidate to run office.</DIV>
<DIV class=quotetext>4. No one expects you to speak any language but English.</DIV>
<DIV class=quotetext>5. You get all the video games and movies FIRST, and then have the privilege of laughing at everyone else.</DIV>
<DIV class=quotetext>6. You have a very simple but effective way to get nearly anybody to laugh. Just fake a British accent, and everyone around you goes into stitches.
</DIV></DIV>

</DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV>

<DIV class=quote>
<DIV class=quotetitle>? quoting Leperous</DIV>
<DIV class=quotetext>Top 10 reasons for being German:

1) Your mother and father were German
2) Er... that's it

Top 10 advantages to being German:

1) You're fairly near Lego Land
2) Moustaches, beer, and big ladies named Helga
3) You have silly long words for simple things, e.g. Donaudampfschiffahrtsgesellschaftskapitaenskajuetenklinenputzergehilfe
4) Er... that's it

</DIV></DIV>
5) Lederhosen!

1. Two World Wars and One World Cup doo-dah doo-dah...

That'll be two world cups if you count the rugby and not just the Germans :biggrin:

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN:
1. You get the exclusive right to measure everything based on the size of a dead English man's body parts.
2. You get the pleasure of never quite comparing to the image other countries portray you as.
3. You as a public have the right to vote the most stupid Presedential candidate to run office.
4. No one expects you to speak any language but English.
5. You get all the video games and movies FIRST, and then have the privilege of laughing at everyone else.
6. You have a very simple but effective way to get nearly anybody to laugh. Just fake a British accent, and everyone around you goes into stitches.
7. Your cheese comes sliced and individually wrapped.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN:

7. Your cheese comes sliced and individually wrapped.

You should really change that to disgusting processed cheese.

<DIV class=quote>
<DIV class=quotetitle>? quoting $loth</DIV>
<DIV class=quotetext>

<DIV class=quote>
<DIV class=quotetitle>? quote:</DIV>
<DIV class=quotetext>TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN:

7. Your cheese comes sliced and individually wrapped.</DIV></DIV>

You should really change that to disgusting processed cheese.
</DIV></DIV>
I would rather have the "american 'cheese'" than the stilton i had in england. (stilton was good on a pasty though. It was just gross when it was plain.) and what about germans and thier limberger AGGGGGGGGGGG!

<DIV class=quote>
<DIV class=quotetitle>? quoting Cash Car Star</DIV>
<DIV class=quotetext>TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN:
1. You get the exclusive right to measure everything based on the size of a dead English man's body parts.
2. You get the pleasure of never quite comparing to the image other countries portray you as.
3. You as a public have the right to vote the most stupid Presedential candidate to run office.
4. No one expects you to speak any language but English.
5. You get all the video games and movies FIRST, and then have the privilege of laughing at everyone else.
6. You have a very simple but effective way to get nearly anybody to laugh. Just fake a British accent, and everyone around you goes into stitches.
7. Your cheese comes sliced and individually wrapped.

8. You have an excuse for being overweight (you call it an eating disorder epidemic)</DIV></DIV>

<DIV class=quote>
<DIV class=quotetitle>? quoting $loth</DIV>
<DIV class=quotetext>

<DIV class=quote>
<DIV class=quotetitle>? quote:</DIV>
<DIV class=quotetext>TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN:

7. Your cheese comes sliced and individually wrapped.</DIV></DIV>

You should really change that to disgusting processed cheese.
</DIV></DIV>
No worries. There is a nasty teratogenic chemical (diethylhexylpathalate) that leaches out of the wrappings. Anyone who eats fatty foods wraped individualy in clear plastic is reducing their chances of reproductive success, hence, evolution will eventualy phase it out. :biggrin:

w0w, all i've got to say is haha to all those fat people.

btw, I don't have a clue what those chemicals are [i'm on at AS level chemistry learing about redox etc.]

I would rather have the "american 'cheese'" than the stilton i had in england.

I don't think I've ever had that, I just usually get cheddar from shops/sometimes deli.

mmmm...... cheese,lettuce and hummous sandwhich.

Well, I got a Pasty at the St. Pancras tube station that was beef and stilton and it was good, so i decided to buy a hunk at Spar when i got back to norwich, it was some of the nastiest cheese i've ever had.

That sandwich you mention actually sounds rather good (.com)

these had me lol:

<DIV class=quote>
<DIV class=quotetitle>? quoting ding</DIV>
<DIV class=quotetext>
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH:
9. You don't have to bother with toilets, just s**t in a hole.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH:
7. Puts you in with a chance of bedding Joan Collins.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN:
5. Can wear sunglasses inside.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH:
3. You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits, etc...
4. The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING BELGIAN:
7. No-one knows where your country is.
8. You can step in a dozen different varieties of dogs**t between you front door and your car.</DIV>
<DIV class=quotetext>
numbers 5, 6 and 10 arent true anymore and should be updated
numbers 1, 3 and 4 make me proud :smile: </DIV>
<DIV class=quotetext> </DIV>
<DIV class=quotetext> </DIV>
<DIV class=quotetext>
<DIV class=quotetext>TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN:
8. You have an excuse for being overweight (you call it an eating disorder epidemic)</DIV>
</DIV></DIV>

Sounds like it sucks to be Spanish.

Well, I got a Pasty at the St. Pancras tube station that was
beef and stilton and it was good, so i decided to buy a hunk at Spar
when i got back to norwich, it was some of the nastiest cheese i've
ever had.

That sandwich you mention actually sounds rather good (.com)

You made the fatal mistake of visiting a Spar, or other branded "large
shop/mini supermarket". Avoid anything that looks like it is part of a
chain. "Val's cob shop" 50yds down the road will always taste better.
and probably be cheaper!

I expect the rule is the same in America.

<DIV class=quote>
<DIV class=quotetitle>? quoting Gwil</DIV>
<DIV class=quotetext>

<DIV class=quote>
<DIV class=quotetitle>? quote:</DIV>
<DIV class=quotetext>Well, I got a Pasty at the St. Pancras tube station that was beef and stilton and it was good, so i decided to buy a hunk at Spar when i got back to norwich, it was some of the nastiest cheese i've ever had.
That sandwich you mention actually sounds rather good (.com)

</DIV></DIV>

You made the fatal mistake of visiting a Spar, or other branded "large shop/mini supermarket". Avoid anything that looks like it is part of a chain. "Val's cob shop" 50yds down the road will always taste better. and probably be cheaper!

I expect the rule is the same in America.
</DIV></DIV>
No not really. If you want to avoid big chains you have to be prepared for a 50% price hike. :sad: However, I think that is mostly because they like to sell you "organic" foods, as if "organic" means anything in that context.

<DIV class=quote>
<DIV class=quotetitle>? quoting Gwil</DIV>
<DIV class=quotetext>You made the fatal mistake of visiting a Spar, or other branded "large shop/mini supermarket". Avoid anything that looks like it is part of a chain. "Val's cob shop" 50yds down the road will always taste better. and probably be cheaper!

I expect the rule is the same in America.
</DIV></DIV>
Not at all. Because corporations offering truly good/original products is rare, whenever a smaller chain becomes popular it almost immediately becomes huge. See In and Out Burger and Krispy Kreme.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING BELGIAN:

1. You can speak three languages in one sentence without realizing it. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Wrong, I can't speak German.</span>

2. You get to own a dog that is smaller than your cat. <span style="color: red;">Boy, you should see my cat.</span>

3. You can go out for a beer at 3.00 a.m., and the bar is just starting to liven up. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Correct.</span>

4. You can speak French as your native language without actually being French. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Correct.</span>

5. When driving you can try to kill every pedestrian that dares to step on a zebra crossing. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Correct. Some a-holes even manage to do it without being caught.</span>

6. You never have to tip in restaurants or cabs. <span style="color: limegreen;">Correct.</span>

7. No-one knows where your country is. <span style="color: limegreen;">Correct.</span>

8. You can step in a dozen different varieties of dogs**t between you front door and your car. <span style="color: limegreen;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Wrong. A dozen would be underkill.</span></span></span>

9. You have a royal family that no-one's ever heard of. <span style="color: limegreen;">Correct.</span>

10. You can queue for an hour in the post office to buy a stamp and think it was good service. <span style="font-weight: bold;">No way.</span>

Hm can someone add TOP 10 Reasons for being German? Would be interesting for me to know what you think. :smile:

Top ten reasons to be German:

1. Beer.

2. The Autobahn

3. Aryan girls.

4. You get to sound angery, no matter what is being said.

5. Schnitzel und bier saussage.

6. Sour Kraut...

...

Cash Car Star said:
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN:
1. You get the exclusive right to measure everything based on the size of a dead English man's body parts.
2. You get the pleasure of never quite comparing to the image other countries portray you as.
3. You as a public have the right to vote the most stupid Presedential candidate to run office.
4. No one expects you to speak any language but English.
5. You get all the video games and movies FIRST, and then have the privilege of laughing at everyone else.
6.
You have a very simple but effective way to get nearly anybody to
laugh. Just fake a British accent, and everyone around you goes into
stitches.
7. Your cheese comes sliced and individually wrapped.

8. You have an excuse for being overweight (you call it an eating disorder epidemic)

9. You have the ability to infect and destroy other cultures for the good of the world*

*Fast food industry

<DIV class=quote>
<DIV class=quotetitle>? quoting Gwil</DIV>
<DIV class=quotetext>

<DIV class=quote>
<DIV class=quotetitle>? quote:</DIV>
<DIV class=quotetext>Well, I got a Pasty at the St. Pancras tube station that was beef and stilton and it was good, so i decided to buy a hunk at Spar when i got back to norwich, it was some of the nastiest cheese i've ever had.
That sandwich you mention actually sounds rather good (.com)

</DIV></DIV>

You made the fatal mistake of visiting a Spar, or other branded "large shop/mini supermarket". Avoid anything that looks like it is part of a chain. "Val's cob shop" 50yds down the road will always taste better. and probably be cheaper!

I expect the rule is the same in America.
</DIV></DIV>

I got some good stuff at Spar. "Val's Cob Shop" (never heard of it) is in Norwich or did you just make up a name? Anyway, most of the good stuf I got at spar was Fanta and Cadbury.
BTW does anyone know Where I can order Cadbury's Crunchie bars and those little "fudge" bars? They don't have those here in the US. www.britsuperstore.com has a bunch of stuff like Maynards, but i didn't find "fudge" or "crunchie" there.

You don't have Crunchie bars in the States? I don't think you guys have our awesome crunchies cheesies either.

<span style="font-weight: bold;">Top 10 Reasons For Being German

</span>1. Your pornography
industry is second best to the Swedish, although when it comes to "poo
porn" you can gurantee Germany is at the top.

Lol, yeah, all the sickest porn sites are german. :redface:

You don't have Crunchie bars in the States? I don't think you guys have our awesome crunchies cheesies either.

Screw crunchies, Reisens and wham bars rule :biggrin:

Lol, yeah, all the sickest porn sites are german. :redface:

The Netherlands is in the industry too.

You made the fatal mistake of visiting a Spar, or other branded "large
shop/mini supermarket". Avoid anything that looks like it is part of a
chain. "Val's cob shop" 50yds down the road will always taste better.
and probably be cheaper!

I expect the rule is the same in America.

Actually, I've found this to be pretty true, as long as you know where to look. I can name a few kick-ass "mom-and-pop" "hole-in-the-wall" places where you can grab an awesome lunch for under 5 bucks, and several amazing places where you can pick up a great dinner for under 7. And I'm not talking about small portions, either, these places fill you up.

Conversely, I could rattle off several places that aren't that great, and give you small portions for an arm and a leg.

The trick is just knowing your area enough to find the good spots, as they're sometimes really easy to miss.

The Netherlands is in the industry too.

Sadly, it's quite a perverted annoying little nation, yeah...

and then we think Belgians are stupid...

Cash Car Star said:
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN:
1. You get the exclusive right to measure everything based on the size of a dead English man's body parts.
2. You get the pleasure of never quite comparing to the image other countries portray you as.
3. You as a public have the right to vote the most stupid Presedential candidate to run office.
4. No one expects you to speak any language but English.
5. You get all the video games and movies FIRST, and then have the privilege of laughing at everyone else.
6.
You have a very simple but effective way to get nearly anybody to
laugh. Just fake a British accent, and everyone around you goes into
stitches.
7. Your cheese comes sliced and individually wrapped.

8. You have an excuse for being overweight (you call it an eating disorder epidemic)

9. You Can complain about the stupid presedential guy Nonstop and not vote against him.

10.You wear shoes indoors!

Keep it Cenzord for our minors plz ^_^

<DIV class=quote>
<DIV class=quotetitle>? quoting Forceflow</DIV>
<DIV class=quotetext>TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING BELGIAN:
1. You can speak three languages in one sentence without realizing it. <SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Wrong, I can't speak German. ->dutch/french/english? Da's andere stuff h?, mon pot!</SPAN>
6. You never have to tip in restaurants or cabs. <SPAN style="COLOR: limegreen">Correct. ->this is changing imo. moral discomfort</SPAN>
</DIV></DIV>

<DIV class=quote>
<DIV class=quotetitle>? quote:</DIV>

<DIV class=quotetext>The Netherlands is in the industry too.</DIV>
<DIV class=quotetext>

Sadly, it's quite a perverted annoying little nation, yeah...

and then we think Belgians are stupid...

</DIV></DIV>
Personally i like the fact that our northern neighbors are more open towards it. You can go to erotic shops with your gf and nobody lifts an eyebrow. Try that here.

Walk in to a shop like that in Britain with your GF, most likely not to
be looked at, do it on your own, and your guranteed to cause a comotion.